Profile: Abie


You can call me… Abie.

I identify as… female, ambiguous.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I have always been identified as female and have never really cared. I think the English language is complicated enough without “xe,” “em,” “hir,” or “nem.” Call me male, call me female. I don’t care. Call me an “it” if you really don’t want to use a label.

I’m attracted to… personality and intelligence. I find gender-neutral people more “beautiful” or “cute,” but I’m mostly asexual. I don’t like exceptionally masculine or exceptionally feminine people in general.

When people talk about me, I want them to… not care about what to call me or how to identify me. I want people to identify me by WHO I am instead of WHAT I am. People who think I am male and people who think I am female are free to be my friends, as long as they can accept people who think the opposite.

I want people to understand… I have always been identified as female, but I’d rather not be defined as anything. I’m not “trans,” I’m not even really opposed to people labeling me as “female.” If I could, I would get top surgery to remove my breasts, and I wouldn’t mind getting my uterus removed either. I don’t care about my genitalia, and I wouldn’t feel offended if people prefered if I continued to use the female restrooms after I had top/bottom surgery. If there was a ‘non-sex’ option, I would take it.

About Abie
I am a computer science major, hoping to work with my older sister as a database administrator for the government.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on December 13th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: profiles 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Profile: Abie”

  1. a.

    Your words moved me in ways you couldn’t imagine! I have been searching for another human who regards body/gender in a similar way as I. Recently, I have been wearing a binder each day. I love the way the fabric sits much more quietly against my flattened chest. And I have been thinking about top surgery one day. One day. As well as a hysterectomy. I do not identify as trans. Genderqueer. Queer. Human. I am a writer and performance artist intent on creating spaces that define/reveal these blurred bodies and genders. But I am searching for humans to speak to, to allow me to find more words to translate myself and these parts. Thank you for your openness and bravery of transliteration.


  2. Anonymous

    I like hir and ze. I feel like if we can’t change our language to accommodate varied experiences, then we are saying that those experiences don’t deserve to be acknowledged. I appreciate where you’re coming from…Ambiguity or apathy about pronouns is a fine thing itself…I just wanted to put it out there that not everyone feels the same. For some of us, those words are really important. (Also, maybe you were just talking about language situations involving yourself, and I am taking things too personally? If so, my apologies.)


    a. replied:

    Hi. I am so glad you commented. I think pronouns are so important and asking others what they prefer is necessary to continue a dialogue between people and learning from each other. I was talking more specifically on myself. But words are so deeply imperative. We all arrive out of different languages and sounds for our bodies, identities, sexualities, etc. There should never be a moment when we assume anything.


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