Question: Daddy used to be a mommy
Kurt asks…
I know that there are gender neutral pronouns for the more fluid of us, but I was wondering, are there any gender neutral parental names? As in a word my kid would use one day to address me instead of saying mom or dad.
I’ve considered just letting the child decide what they would prefer to call me, which sounds nice, but honestly I’m not sure if I’d be comfortable with either titles.
Please post your response in the comments below.
» Ask Genderfork «
Posted by Freiya on May 3rd, 2013 at 08:00 am
Category: questions 10 comments »
May 4th, 2013 at 3:53 am |
I really like the idea of letting your child come up with a gender neutral title. That could turn out really personal and unique, and also probably really cute.
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May 4th, 2013 at 9:44 am |
The best I’ve come up with is “parent”, unfortunately :-/ (Though that could get shorted to “Parry” or “Renty” or similar for affectionate use; if I ever end up likely to parent I’ll think about it some more.)
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May 4th, 2013 at 9:47 am |
You could always just pull a “To Kill a Mockingbird” and let your kid call you by your name, as Scout does to Atticus. It’s not the same, but it is another option, and definitely would be more personal.
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May 4th, 2013 at 2:24 pm |
Maybe this is far-fetched, but what about “Dommy”, the mix between Mommy and Daddy?
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May 5th, 2013 at 3:36 pm |
I like Maddy :)
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May 6th, 2013 at 10:05 pm |
I don’t see what’s wrong with “parent,” aside from being a bit more formal than what you’d expect a kid to say.
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May 7th, 2013 at 4:35 am |
I invented the word ‘Madé’ which my kids call me. It sounds a bit like ma and da, it reminds me of my grandma who was Mardi, and references creation.
Took a while to convert, as they were 7 and 10 at the time. But now it’s quite natural:-)
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May 9th, 2013 at 5:31 pm |
I’ve always wanted to be called Guardi by my kids.
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June 15th, 2013 at 8:25 pm |
I know of one genderqueer parent going by Bapa (kind of like papa, but not). I’m also curious as to whether another language might have a gender neutral word for English’s “parent” but that would sound cooler. (For example, in German the word is Eltern which could be shortened to Eli or Ely.) You could also go with the English spelling of a foreign pronunciation if you wanted to use a word from a language that didn’t use our alphabet.
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September 1st, 2013 at 12:06 pm |
I am a genderqueer parent and though my 2 year old calls me “mommy”, they also call me “daddy” and “dommy” (totally not far fetched, and actually common from what I know). I sort of just told my 2 year old that I was both parents (I’m a single parent and the “sperm donor” isnt in the picture) and I let my 2 year old choose what they want to call me when they feel like it.
Even though I am genderqueer, I don’t mind being called mommy/daddy because I understand my child is young and just using the terms as a way of acknowledging our bond. As my child gets older, we’ll probably sit down and discuss it + come up with our own terms.
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