Question: Socially transitioning to a new name

Someone asks…

I’ve wanted to change my name to something more gender neutral my entire life. As a kid I always asked to be called by different boys’ names. Now that I’ve grown up, I’ve lost the courage to ask that of my peers. How do I even start to socially transition to a new name?

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Posted by on February 10th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 4 comments »

4 Responses to “Question: Socially transitioning to a new name”

  1. Girl with a Hoop

    The best way is just to do it. Once you have determined what you wish to be called, you simply tell the people in your life that you are going by whatever name you have chosen. Invariably there will be some questions and a few people may be resistant, but once you have made the change and are consistent about it, people adapt quite easily.

    I legally changed my name to what is in this country an unambiguously female name some years ago. People took it quite easily. There were a few questions as to whether surgery was coming as well (no, it isn’t) but for the most part, people simply respected my choice. I am fortunate to live in a very tolerant place like New York City. It may be more difficult in some other places.

    Good luck!


  2. David Bare

    Dear New Name… create a new email in the name you want and start using it on most of your communications… but be careful.. can also cause a few issues… good luck… xoxox


  3. Anonymous

    I changed my name from a female name to a more male name last year. I’m a teacher, so it was pretty public for me. Initially, I had thought about just telling my friends, and changing it at work when the school year ended (many months later). But, I realized that the best course of action, for me, was to make all the changes in a very short span of time. My boss emailed parents, I announced it to the students in my classes, I sent out an email to faculty and friends, and changed it on facebook in the course of 48 hours. I took a little longer with family because I wanted a real conversation. The idea of changing my name was super overwhelming, but once I got through that first little bit, it was not hard. It was probably easier for everyone else to get used to the name than it was for me! Everyone has a different path, but I’ve found with most gender related changes that just diving in has been the best, productive and positive way to move forward.


  4. dz

    I purposefully misspelled my name on Facebook to make it harder for annoying people from high school to find me. And people in real life started calling me by that name!


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