Quitting Gender

Someone wrote…

I wish I could just quit gender. FTM, Cis girl, Genderqueer, none feel right :(

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on March 27th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 8 comments »

8 Responses to “Quitting Gender”

  1. Anonymous

    Perhaps you just don’t have a gender? That is valid too :) …But I know what you mean. Some times nothing fits and it’s just too much. Sometimes none of the labels work…


  2. Anonymous

    yeah, those are the days I just don’t get out of bed in the mornings, because if you just stay in bed by yourself you don’t have to put your gender back on.


  3. Anonymous

    I know days like this. It is…every day of my live right now. I am so angry about having to have a gender. I mean, not that I think I have to have it, but I want to interact with others, I want to connect, I want to have a social live with others. But all the others are IN the system, they all do have a gender and they do think in these categories. So…if I refuse to do so, I will be an outsider. But I need other people, I don`t want to stay outside, while everyone else is inside….So…I will have to swallow my anger and do what`s least paniful – transition. Thats the most authentic me that I can visualize in future. I put on the least painful gender I find. Like putting on the least ugly shirt of all ugly shirts in the morning….

    I so know how this all feels…


    to number 3... the angry on replied:

    There’s another way honney…. 1st pls dont choose any gender through anger… it doesnt work and it hurts … I understand where you are… been there for many a long years…. the better way to choose is to suspend choosing and buy time…. rather than become the outsider become central to your friends … you can almost always see both sides when they only see one… help them with their issues… dont wait outside get in the middle…. you got a nice surprise coming… dont be pushy, that doesnt work, just ease yourself into the knowledgable one position… oh yeah I been living this scene for 68 years… I know a bit about it . xoxox :)


  4. to Quitting Gender...

    Yep.. do that…. suspend your issues right now…. just roll with androgynous for a while.. things change… gender flows back and forth.. sit back watch yourself… keep a diary on how the day flow… watch your MONTHLY CYCLE .. yeah… dont laugh…. PMS. is VALID….!!!! we all get it to a greater or lesser degree!… learn from mood swings which way you want to roll…. chill… give yourself a break xoxoxo :)


  5. Jesse

    Whatever happened to “be yourself.” It doesn’t matter what labels you claim or what labels other people pin on you. Stop obsessing about stuff that doesn’t matter and get on with your life. Why do you have to “be” anything other than the person you are?


    Dana replied:

    I disagree…humans are social animals and part of our happiness is bound up in how we fit into our community. How we fit into our community is bound up in other people’s perceptions of us. It’s completely legit to want other people to recognize us in a way that matches our self-perception. It’s not weakness, just a normal human need, probably older than homo sapiens as a species.


    Jesse replied:

    I agree that we are more social than purely individual.

    However, there is a difference between self-identification of oneself in a social group (label) and the enforced conformance of belonging to a group as a means of social control.

    When I self-identify as X, that’s fine. When people who also identify as X give me grief because I don’t conform to their idea of what X should be and do, that is “not weakness, just a normal human need, probably older than homo sapiens as a species.” but it is bullshit.

    I should not allow them to define my happiness by my conformance with their prejudices. I should be enough of an individual to thumb my nose at them and instruct them to take their rules and put them where the moon don’t shine. I should be happier being me and I am happy being X.


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