Recommendation: Somewhere Bent

Sadelle recommends…

Somewhere Bent
A poem on a blog.

“I have never been aware,
What on the outside seems,
But not growing there,
I played a role, not my dreams.

I begged my body to be less of
That to be or what not to be;
Just be something I can love,
Even if only by lovers seen.

So why then do I seem
With tiny little nipple knots, not
On fleshy female breasts and
That thing down there is what?

I am a natural born killer.
That instinct has never died
Time after time being teased
And other reasons cried.

When they think that I am a girly
Boy, and fag or pussy I am called,
I have to beat them all up,
And I beat them one and all.

I fight to end it at the beginning;
The judgment of my heart,
And stop what would surely bleed
My soul forever from the start.

I feel the thoughts of those
Who cannot get in my head.
In the cross-hairs of their sights
Set on seeing me quite dead.

Just because my hair and clothes
Are not in lemming conformation
To their walking talking paper
Cut-out normal expectation?

I have never been aware of,
What on the outside I must seem.
But growing up, I played the role,
By every, and all means.

I wanted to hug and hold hands
And feel what girls and women do.
But I wanted to be a super hero,
And fit in as either too.

Now I know that I am neither,
I play the game no more.
Hormones and chromosomes
Failing at my gender core.

They let me down by the norm,
And denied full compliment
Of what is boy or girl, and left me
Somewhere in the middle bent.”

I just wanted to share this with my siblings. Being somewhere between the ‘normative’ gender binary options can be difficult. Especially when you are young. I wrote this when I was 18 (or thereabouts).

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Posted by on July 10th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: art, blogs, poetry, recommendations 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Recommendation: Somewhere Bent”

  1. Anonymous

    feel that everyday. beautifully written ;u;

    [Reply]

  2. Chrys

    Poignant, powerful, and reaches me on a core level.

    [Reply]


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