Shadow
Someone wrote…
Sometimes, a few days beard growth makes me less dysphoric than the shadow I can’t get rid of.
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on July 5th, 2013 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 3 comments »
3 Responses to “Shadow”
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July 5th, 2013 at 4:54 pm |
Wow. Thanks.
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July 8th, 2013 at 4:45 am |
Sometimes wearing a very padded bra makes me feel less dysphoric than having to acknowledge the breasts I can’t change. Hah. Gender is so weird sometimes :)
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July 9th, 2013 at 2:40 am |
This is so true for me, too. I didn’t know anyone else felt the same way.
I’m going through a rough time right now, where I will be out in the open, where people will see the growth on my face and treat me accordingly, and it may have an effectbon my happinese, whether I can get gov’t aid, etc. I am fine with the hair… but other people in a public place are not. Somedays I wish I could just shave it off and hide it, or let it grow. It’s hard being intersex when people either don’t know what it is, or pity you for being “the girl with the beard.”
Nevermind that I went through menopause, have a fully functional testicle, and if I had it my way, my whole body would be XY, instead of only a small part. At least my brain is all XY.
I don’t want to hide it anymore, even if I get hell for it. But I bet the terror of them thinking I’m a freakish girl is much better than the terror of what they would do if they knew that’s not the case. I want to give them the chance to prove my fears wrong… but I don’t know if it’s worth it.
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