Transitions
Someone wrote…
I used to think I was alone in this, then came the Web…boy, was I mistaken! But instead of feeling hopeful (I admit, I did and still do) I was surprised that I couldn’t find anyone that was born a male or female and REMAINED that way despite their clear acknowledgment of being transgender.
I mean, not everyone transitions, right? I might still, but what if I didn’t? Would I belong anywhere? If I really go through with it, what will I do for a living? Will I find love? Will I be accepted? AND if I do not transition, how can I cope and carry on? Are there others that do?
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on July 23rd, 2013 at 08:00 am
Category: questions, your voice 9 comments »
July 23rd, 2013 at 8:34 am |
I consider myself trans but generally content to stay as I was born. I am technically female, but given the choice would be male. I’ve considered doing surgeries, and sometimes I think I might still do hormones someday, but I’m mostly happy to stay as I am in this mid-gender state. Sometimes I enjoy exploring my female side and sometimes I enjoy exploring my male side. My partner is the same but technically male. We enjoy swapping genders and playing around with all the combinations. We were really lucky to find someone so kindred in that sense.
I’m sure if I walked up to someone while wearing a dress and told them I’m genderqueer they would laugh (because clearly I’m a woman dressed as a woman), but that’s ok with me. I know who I am and I’m happy with that.
Don’t know if any of that helps, but I just wanted to say that yes, there are people out there who are genderqueer and don’t formally transition. Be who you are and be happy :)
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July 23rd, 2013 at 9:05 am |
My wife and I are exactly the same and could not be happier :)
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July 23rd, 2013 at 10:45 am |
I was born female, and will not be transitioning to become a male. I am, however, transitioning socially to become more fluid and androgynous. Having a female-marked body creates a lot of anxiety for me, but I think having a male-marked body would create just as much anxiety.
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July 23rd, 2013 at 2:48 pm |
There’s no answer – one size fits none. You be yourself and if that involves thinking, changing, hurting, loving, growing… these are all transitions. Some people need pharmacology, some people need surgery, and some people don’t. You are no less who you are because you haven’t “gone all the way.” If it ain’t your way, there’s no point going there. And if someone tries to belittle you and invalidate you as a means of validating their own choices, well tell them to put it where the moon don’t shone. Bon Voyage!
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July 24th, 2013 at 12:09 am |
I’m in a similar situation myself. I started questioning my gender and sexuality a bit over a year ago and though I wasn’t totally clueless I have learnt most of what I now know from the internet.
It is clear to me now that I don’t want to identify as a woman (‘m female-bodied) but I don’t want to go through a great process (physically, legally or otherwise) in order to make other people comfortable with my identity. Although I ‘feel like a man’ about 90-95% of the time and often wish my physicality matched I have quite recently realised that I don’t want to hide any part of myself at the expense of another. That is to say, I can be honest about my physicality and my gender identity as well.
As an 11-year-old friend of mine understood it, I’m a male (adjective) female (noun).
This the way I’ve worked it out (at least for the moment) and I really wish you the best in finding a way that makes you comfortable and happy.
Just remember to be yourself, because no one is better qualified!
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July 26th, 2013 at 7:37 am |
I know people like you, and I think there’s a word for it. There are people who feel transgender without going through physical transition, and people who feel neutral/genderqueer and do some things to their bodies but not others. It’s all about what makes you most comfortable, and feel the most like you.
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July 26th, 2013 at 7:33 pm |
Some people also choose not to transition for economic reasons. One of a long list of things holding me back is that I’m the breadwinner in my household, and endangering that endangers both my and my partner’s access to food, housing, and health care. I am still thinking carefully about whether to come out and transition socially while continuing to present as my assigned gender at work, but even that’s a ways down the road as I am still coming to terms with my identity as a trans* person.
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August 21st, 2013 at 2:52 pm |
Omg I LOVE you people!!! I am not alone!!! :-)
I have gone through phases but am recently coming to accept the reality that I am further down the female side of the spectrum than I realized before. Making new friends in the community and thankfully met a wonderful and accepting woman who loves me for who I am!
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September 2nd, 2013 at 12:22 pm |
I used to worry that I was weird for wishing I’d been born female, but not wanting to transition. It’s taken me a long time to realise and accept that I’m androgynous or non-binary in my gender. I still think it would have been easier if I’d been born female, but that’s because in modern society women have a much greater opportunity (and acceptance) to blur/cross gender lines (tomboys, trousers and shirts, and doing what were once ‘male’ activities). So I think, in an ideal world, my gender would be ‘notmale’.
In short: you’re not alone.
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