Walking
Someone wrote…
Some weeks ago, i attended a show in my neighborhood. i went there by myself, and ended up having to come back home alone at 4 am. Since the gig was only a block away from my house, i decided to go by walking.
As i walked, i started to feel a bit insecure for being a “woman” alone in the street in the middle of the night. I was dressing real butch, so i thought – what if people couldn’t perceive me as a girl when they saw me? i put my hood on, hands in my pockets, and started to walk more “manly” – shoulders up, controlling my hips. No one actually crossed my path, but i felt (and it kind of saddens me, since it seems you can’t be safe being a female) a bit more secure by doing this.
My gender presentation varies, so i don’t feel like i “am” really that androgynous. in some occasions, people have already misgendered me as a boy – but this time was actually the first i actually TRIED to pass.
So far, i haven’t told this story to anyone, but i secretly enjoyed that moment a lot!
What’s your experience?
Category: your voice 5 comments »
April 12th, 2013 at 9:32 am |
strangely liberating…
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April 12th, 2013 at 3:11 pm |
Yes! I’ve done exactly this. Isn’t it interesting how much how you’re walking can change how you feel?
(I’m a wheelchair user these days, and haven’t quite worked out what the analogue is yet, which is… interesting. And I think I’m slightly more likely to be gendered female since I’ve started using a chair, which is also… interesting.)
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Anonymous replied:
April 13th, 2013 at 12:04 am
just ride recklessly and speed up your chair! That`ll do to make most people think you are of the masculine kind, (if matching a stereotype is what you want.) ;-)
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Lane replied:
April 13th, 2013 at 7:16 am
That must be frustrating- I work in disability services and am vision impaired myself. There is something to the entire concept of ‘sexuality, gender and disability’…and I think it revolves around the perception of people with disabilities being: asexual, helpless, ‘neutralized’, somehow weaker or less (!) able or somehow otherwise in need. Personally I find this abhorrent and way off track; counseling others, I have listened and heard stories that folks feel overlooked (or worse, over-examined) in a way that they are not ‘sexual’ in any way- be it actual acts or looking sexy or hot- to be seem as an entire person in all those facets is missing. I think of it as we have ‘extra’ diversity at our disposal ;) etc. I agree with the other poster- burn rubber! I used to walk with a cane all the time, now rarely, but even then, I walked fast and with purpose- otherwise strangers would try to ‘assist’ me in the most uncomfortable & unnecessary ways, so walking like I was The Commander helped even if I was charging ahead nto my own fog haha I /looked/ like I knew what I was doing :) To display your confidence is the key no matter what. Best wishes to you, and go for whatever you want to acheive:)
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April 21st, 2013 at 4:01 am |
I do that quite often actually. A few years ago I was attacked and have since been constantly alert when walking home after a night out. Since I am often mistaken for a guy any way, I figured maybe I could turn it into an advantage and so far I have always passed alright. It doesn’t mean it makes it all good as obviously men are also victims of assault, but it does make me feel less exposed than if I were walking around as a girl.
The catch is, of course, if someone spots me and decides to give me a lesson either because they perceive me as a lesbian (which I also incidentally happen to be) or a transman. So basically it’s either misogyny or homo-transphobia. How any more sad could it be?
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