Some weeks ago, i attended a show in my neighborhood. i went there by myself, and ended up having to come back home alone at 4 am. Since the gig was only a block away from my house, i decided to go by walking.
As i walked, i started to feel a bit insecure for being a “woman” alone in the street in the middle of the night. I was dressing real butch, so i thought – what if people couldn’t perceive me as a girl when they saw me? i put my hood on, hands in my pockets, and started to walk more “manly” – shoulders up, controlling my hips. No one actually crossed my path, but i felt (and it kind of saddens me, since it seems you can’t be safe being a female) a bit more secure by doing this.
My gender presentation varies, so i don’t feel like i “am” really that androgynous. in some occasions, people have already misgendered me as a boy – but this time was actually the first i actually TRIED to pass.
So far, i haven’t told this story to anyone, but i secretly enjoyed that moment a lot!
What’s your experience?