Walking

Someone wrote…

Some weeks ago, i attended a show in my neighborhood. i went there by myself, and ended up having to come back home alone at 4 am. Since the gig was only a block away from my house, i decided to go by walking.

As i walked, i started to feel a bit insecure for being a “woman” alone in the street in the middle of the night. I was dressing real butch, so i thought – what if people couldn’t perceive me as a girl when they saw me? i put my hood on, hands in my pockets, and started to walk more “manly” – shoulders up, controlling my hips. No one actually crossed my path, but i felt (and it kind of saddens me, since it seems you can’t be safe being a female) a bit more secure by doing this.

My gender presentation varies, so i don’t feel like i “am” really that androgynous. in some occasions, people have already misgendered me as a boy – but this time was actually the first i actually TRIED to pass.

So far, i haven’t told this story to anyone, but i secretly enjoyed that moment a lot!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 12th, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 5 comments »

5 Responses to “Walking”

  1. owlet

    strangely liberating…

    [Reply]

  2. kaberett

    Yes! I’ve done exactly this. Isn’t it interesting how much how you’re walking can change how you feel?

    (I’m a wheelchair user these days, and haven’t quite worked out what the analogue is yet, which is… interesting. And I think I’m slightly more likely to be gendered female since I’ve started using a chair, which is also… interesting.)

    [Reply]

    Anonymous replied:

    just ride recklessly and speed up your chair! That`ll do to make most people think you are of the masculine kind, (if matching a stereotype is what you want.) ;-)

    [Reply]

    Lane replied:

    That must be frustrating- I work in disability services and am vision impaired myself. There is something to the entire concept of ‘sexuality, gender and disability’…and I think it revolves around the perception of people with disabilities being: asexual, helpless, ‘neutralized’, somehow weaker or less (!) able or somehow otherwise in need. Personally I find this abhorrent and way off track; counseling others, I have listened and heard stories that folks feel overlooked (or worse, over-examined) in a way that they are not ‘sexual’ in any way- be it actual acts or looking sexy or hot- to be seem as an entire person in all those facets is missing. I think of it as we have ‘extra’ diversity at our disposal ;) etc. I agree with the other poster- burn rubber! I used to walk with a cane all the time, now rarely, but even then, I walked fast and with purpose- otherwise strangers would try to ‘assist’ me in the most uncomfortable & unnecessary ways, so walking like I was The Commander helped even if I was charging ahead nto my own fog haha I /looked/ like I knew what I was doing :) To display your confidence is the key no matter what. Best wishes to you, and go for whatever you want to acheive:)

    [Reply]

  3. Ryl

    I do that quite often actually. A few years ago I was attacked and have since been constantly alert when walking home after a night out. Since I am often mistaken for a guy any way, I figured maybe I could turn it into an advantage and so far I have always passed alright. It doesn’t mean it makes it all good as obviously men are also victims of assault, but it does make me feel less exposed than if I were walking around as a girl.

    The catch is, of course, if someone spots me and decides to give me a lesson either because they perceive me as a lesbian (which I also incidentally happen to be) or a transman. So basically it’s either misogyny or homo-transphobia. How any more sad could it be?

    [Reply]


Leave a Reply


Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.


Back to top