What the world reads me as.

kristopher wrote…

It seems as though even if I tell people I’m genderqueer – they still go “Oh, she’s just amazing and brave for saying that”.

Genderqueer = gender neutral pronouns. At work, in groups, even at home sometimes – everyone looks at my feminine face, my curves and still says girl/she. Even when I bind, put on facial hair and go out in the public packing – I’m still a she. It’s frustrating even when I try to blow off what the world reads me as.

I’ve had people in the LGBT community strongly express how they don’t get it and they think it’s just something the young folks are doing now a days. “If you look like a girl, then be proud to be a girl”. I feel there is no hope. How can one be so positive in their genderqueer identity and have everyone from your partner to your friends say you’re otherwise?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on October 1st, 2013 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 3 comments »

3 Responses to “What the world reads me as.”

  1. Thomas

    This. So very very much do I identify with this. It seems as though since I’m not actively transitioning, my genderqueer identity is completely invisible.


  2. Callista

    They sound kind of clueless to me, really. I mean, most people know what it means if you come out as gay or even transgender, but genderqueer isn’t really as well known; these people may be some of the ones who haven’t got the first idea what it means. Maybe when they don’t really know what to make of you, they say, “Cool, we accept you,” and then don’t really know where to go from there, and end up with “she” as the best guess.

    Just don’t let the opinions of others get you down. You are who you are, and there is nothing wrong with you. If you tell them which pronouns to use and they don’t, you’ve got every right to get annoyed with them and set them straight. You are your mind, your feelings, the things you say and do. What you look like is practically irrelevant compared to that.

    But I guess you know that. It’s really the people around you who need to know it. You try your best to explain; they’re still oblivious–that’s their fault, not yours. Especially since they could’ve just typed “genderqueer” into wikipedia and gotten a basic definition right away.


  3. Taylor

    I also identify very strongly with this. I have been working on publishing more about genderqueer identity, having regular conversations with people I meet, and my latest project is trying to bring genderqueer into drag by having a legitimately androgynous drag character who realistically can move between pronouns.

    If you have any strategies of how you have dealt with regular ‘she’ness I would be forever grateful.


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