minefloozle asks…

I’m really sorry to be a downer, but I’m looking for some coping strategies. In the past couple of months I’ve begun slowly telling people that I’d like gender-neutral pronouns (I don’t want to come out on facebook because I’d like to get a job in science research), and while they’ve all been lovely about it, everybody keeps forgetting.

I’m too uncomfortable to correct them–I don’t want to be annoying, and it happens so much!–but it’s gotten to the point where some days I can’t hear the words “she,” “ladies,” etc. at all without feeling sick, no matter who the words are directed towards. How do you deal with casual misgendering?

(I’ve also just recently realized my gender identity, so there’s a lot of internalized doubt there already.)

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Someone wrote…

I’m starting on a quest and, wherever I find myself each day, a picture pales into insignificance next to where my soul is at. I have no picture that reflects my mostly female core.

It matters that she isn’t seen, although I think I’m genderfluid in terms of expression. You need to look into my eyes and try to see me – so few take the time. Having found her, I feel whole… and sick, for having her in me is impossible to express, and some will shun me if I try. But I love her… and, by extension, I love myself!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… M—–

I identify as… Genderqueer, androgynous, female-bodied.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I really don’t care. She/her. But people call me sir when I wear a sports bra.

I’m attracted to… People who strike my interest. Either/both/neither gender.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Remember me as kind and intelligent.

I want people to understand… That even though the world is full of diverse people that might challenge what we’re comfortable with, those people are just like us, with many of the same problems, interests, quirks, joys. We’re all human.

About M—–
NIH research wonk, technophile, DFW and Genet enthusiast, cat fancier, nocturne.

» Define yourself. «

Submitted by Kai, the model and photographer.

” Me trying to understand what one may be thinking when they look at me …is he a boy a girl, is she a boy or girl. what is he/she?”

Someone wrote…

I don’t understand how I can be born into a body and reject the total thought of it being mine, but being unable to change it other than for a short time frame because soon enough I’ll want it to be mine again. How come I can’t just be male or female? Why cant I just decide on a gender instead of playing this weird flip flop thing with it?

I don’t want to have to scout out the only gender neutral bathrooms at the mall in order to feel comfortable peeing!

I just want to be normal but it hurts to be who I was born as. It hurts everytime I’m told “So you were only pretending to be trans” or every time the people I love introduce me as “she” as if “they” is an inconvenience. Even genderfluid people forget my pronouns and I just can’t correct them.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Submitted by Diana Scholl, via We are the Youth. Photo by Laurel Golio.

“I went and I tried to stay in a homeless shelter and hated it. It was really difficult with my gender or lack-there-of expression. The shelter wasn’t individualized for different gender expressions. And in order to apply for a job you had to go to these job classes, and I already knew how to do those skills. They wouldn’t see me at the place I was at. I was like, ‘this is dumb.’ I wanted to go back on the streets.”
Riley, Age 21, Philadelphia”

More about Riley’s story can be found here.

Monster asks…

Do you have a favorite place to buy gender-neutral clothes? Somewhere that isn’t a hundred dollars for a shirt?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Reposted from attaboy-tomboy.

“This is my bff. But we can be friends too. :)”

Someone wrote…

I identify as Genderqueer. A lot of people tell me that I ‘look like a girl’ or I get the ‘but you’re a girl.’

The other one I got the other day after I’d explained my gender was ‘do you feel like a boy or a girl?’

Just because I look, dress, or act in a certain way it doesn’t mean that I’m not Genderqueer, not female, and not androgynous. My gender is part of me, but I am not my gender. My gender is me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Submitted by Wryly Tender, the model and photographer.

“I really enjoy mixing subtle gender cues/markers. My masculinity is super flamboyant and my femininity is pretty ferocious, so I try to dress in a way that reflects that.

It’s a tough balance to strike, but one that best communicates my non-binary genderqueerness.”

You can call me… Orion or Ryan

I identify as… a Polyamorous, Pansexual, Genderqueer.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They/Them/Theirs

I’m attracted to… good people.

When people talk about me, I want them to… talk about how awesome I am. Not fixate on my identities.

I want people to understand… that I am a human being with feelings, same as everyone else.

About Orion or Ryan
I’m Orion. FAAB Genderqueer individual. I am an artist, a writer, a musician, a nerd and a lover of beauty. Those are the things I would rather be the focus of what people think of me over my sexual and gender identities.

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

Sometimes I want an app to track how I feel. Do I have patterns? When my body is getting ready to expel its uterine lining, am I closer to the feminine end of the spectrum? When I’m ovulating, am I more likely to bind my chest?

I just want a slider on the my phone so I can definitively look at how I feel, instead of just… feeling it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Monkey asks…

This may be a bit of a ramble, and may be a little disconnected. I fear my thoughts are a bit disorganized.

I’ve met a woman that identifies as genderqueer and I’m really in to her. Until I met her I hadn’t really heard the term before, but learning about it has made me confront uncertainties I’ve always had.

I don’t know what I am. I always thought you were a man or a woman and that was the end. I am physically a male, I like it that way, I don’t have a problem with being called he or him. But from the day I was born, I was sensitive.

I like guy things, and I like girl things. I quickly learned that liking girl things earned a man nothing but pain. When I was a child I used to wear my mother’s negliges. I got caught once and my father beat me so bad that I am shaking as I type that last sentence, because after 35 years I’m still scared of someone finding out.

I never wanted to be a woman, I just like pretty things. I love cars and weight lifting, and I spent some time training in muay thai. I like helping my friends shop for dresses, not so I can score, but because I love helping to make something beautiful.

I’m sexually attracted to female bodies, but the women I like tend to act more “manly” I wish I knew more gender neutral terms.

I’m a man, but I act too much like a woman or fag to be a man. I don’t want to be a woman.
I don’t know what I am. Some how queer feels right, but do I even have a right to that word. Am I just confused? If I’m genderqueer but outwardly a straight male, do I “come out”?

All I know is I don’t fit. The way women and men are described, or gay and straight, or any of it, I don’t fit.

Please someone tell me what I am.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Someone wrote…

The panicked concern of friends and strangers when someone uses different pronouns for me than they have is both cute and the bane of my existence. Calm down everybody – I go all ways!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Submitted by Hanssen, the model and photographer.

“I took this because I needed “press” photos to coincide with the release of my new album. Afterwards, I realized that I was wearing 100% women’s clothing that I am not totally comfortable wearing in everyday life. It’s not obvious stuff, but I found it kinda funny that that’s what I chose to represent me to thousands around the world.”

You can call me… Amelia

I identify as… Neither mostly, genderfluid

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Ey or They

I’m attracted to… No-one physically – intellectually I’m attracted to people who are are awesome and smart and snarky as hell.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Not talk about me.

I want people to understand… I am not like you or anyone else and that is a glorious thing.

About Amelia

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

Your breasts do not determine your gender. Neither do your clothes. I understand that these things make you nervous, but the sooner you learn those things, the less you will have to unlearn.

Reposted from Non-Binary Support Blog.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Reposted from Lady Writing.

“….the most bored mushroom ever.”

Charice from Glee says, “Not exactly…transitioning to, like, a male male, but basically…my soul is male.”

Submitted by Skye, the model and photographer.

“I may have been female-assigned at birth, but that hasn’t stopped me from liking long hair and make-up.”