Ah-ha moments

Someone wrote…

I’ve had a few “ah-ha” moments in this past year of gender identity exploration that have really helped me get past a bunch of fear and insecurities. For instance…

One of the first things I did was to get a pair of tall women’s riding boots (I’m a bio-male human person). When I wore them out in public I got such a wide range of comments and questions about them, and NONE of them had anything to do with them being women’s boots. Some people made horse jokes. Someone thought I was being “fancy”. Some guy at a nightclub said, “Sick boots, bro! Are those military?”

It clicked immediately for me that you just can’t control how other people contextualize what you are expressing. Everybody sees things through their own lens and, really, the only thing that matters is how I see myself through my lens. I don’t even care if somebody kinda makes me fun of me anymore. That’s their problem.

I would love to hear nuggets or experiences that other people have found especially valuable!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on September 25th, 2014 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Ah-ha moments”

  1. Anonymous

    Well for me I’m grateful for that very phenomenon at the moment because I’m not ready to come out as trans yet, and certainly not ready to face questions, comments, or discrimination. However I am finding it increasingly hard to ignore my dysphoria so being able to wear some pieces of men’s clothes and have no one notice or comment on it is very comforting.


    Original Poster replied:

    I don’t know where you live or what your situation is, but from my experience I can say…do NOT stress about trying out some cross-gender dressing.

    I have been wearing women’s clothing almost exclusively for a but now and nobody even notices, as far as I know. I’m wearing pretty gender ambiguous stuff, but even still it’s not at all typical for a “male”. I would expect it’s even easier for people who are AFAB to experiment since society lets “females” pretty much wear whatever.


Leave a Reply

Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

For legal reasons, you must be age 13 or older to post a comment on Genderfork.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.

Back to top