Does anyone have any experience with gender-openness in ‘Bear’ bars?

Someone wrote…

To expound, I’m a FAAB (female-assigned-at-birth) ambigender genderqueer (meaning I identify as in-between/a blend of male and female), who also identifies as part of the “bear” community – I’m chubby, (very) furry, kind of boyish, and love men (I mean, I love all genders, including men, lol).
I’ve also historically gotten along with men who identify as bears.

But sadly GQ/transphobia is not limited to heteronormativity – there are some lesbian, gay, and bisexual cis-folk who see gender-variance as a PITA, or worse, setting back the gay rights movement with its sheer absurdity (sad, but I’ve heard it).

So riddle me this: I’m new to Seattle, and the Capitol Hill region is pretty rife with bear culture, and, thusly, bear bars. I’d love to stop in, make some bear-friends (and, ideally, more, but not holding my breath…), and bear-it-up, but would my outward female-ish(?)-ness cast me as a ‘goldilocks’ (a colloquialism for female-friends-of-bears), or would I just come off as an impostor/intruder/wannabe?

Does this question make any sense?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on March 22nd, 2014 at 08:00 am

Category: questions, your voice 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Does anyone have any experience with gender-openness in ‘Bear’ bars?”

  1. Boo

    Oh wow…This is a really good question. I don’t have the experience to answer this, but thank you for asking.


  2. theocraticjello

    I’d love to hear how the Seattle scene is as well.


  3. Anonymous

    As a 4 year resident of seattle and trans boy myself I have to say the seattle bear scene is kind of difficult to break into in that respect. But there are some rad places to go, The Cuff is a great and generally open place. They also have square dancing on friday afternoons if your looking for a different way to interact.


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