Marker
Someone wrote…
Not long after I came out as genderqueer, my birth name got real uncomfortable. I’ve finally settled on what I want to change it to, but I mourn the fact that there’s no accurate gender marker I could change to along with it. Part of me wants to hold out until a third gender marker option becomes available so I can change both at once, but who knows when that will be… ?
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on April 1st, 2014 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 3 comments »
April 1st, 2014 at 8:21 am |
On the one hand I read this and think: Damn right, don’t compromise! Hold onto what you believe and fight for it.
On the other hand, I think: Don’t hold yourself back waiting for society/culture to catch up to where your head has already been. Go ahead and be YOU! Avoid using a label where you can, use the best one you can find when you gotta, but in the meantime let yourself be free and be the best you that you can be! Let your name of choice out of its cage and OWN IT. Lead from out front and let society and culture catch up to YOU.
[Reply]
April 1st, 2014 at 3:25 pm |
I mean, I guess you could wait; it’s up to you of course, but depending on where you live, I have my doubts that another marker will be available any time soon, if ever. Australia just added a 3rd one as far as I know, so there’s a chance. If I were you, I’d do whatever felt as comfortable as possible. I was on T for like a year before I changed my legal name and marker because 1) at the time I had to have surgery to change the marker and 2) I was deciding on what name I wanted and didn’t want to rush myself. I never really had to disclose it besides in specific technical situations. Even my work checks came in my nickname. So, I’d say, if your birth name bothers you enough, change it; changing your marker doesn’t usually require a court, and if you’d change it to a 3rd gender, I imagine it wouldn’t require a doctor’s note and certainly not surgery. So it’d be fairly quick and inexpensive. Also, your marker is not nearly as trumpeted across all facets of your life as your legal name. A professor once told me that back in Ireland, her license accidentally listed her as male, and no one even noticed for years. She did but didn’t care enough to change it. F and M are stupid labels for those who don’t fit them, but people hardly look at them.
That said, I’d love a 3rd option too. I’d even like it for myself. I think I’ve signed a petition to that effect in fact…
[Reply]
April 5th, 2014 at 10:47 am |
You could change your name informally now, but wait until the third-gender option became available to do the paperwork. That’s what I’d do–it’d save on having to fill out all those forms, since you’d only have to do it once, but you could go by your chosen name anyway until then.
[Reply]