My philosophy

Someone wrote…

I’m on this journey of exploration in gender and sexuality. Sometimes, I don’t feel like I fit in anywhere. My gender expression is my own, and I hate that I feel this need to fit into a label. I am masculine, and I am feminine. I enjoy sometimes being seen as a man and other times as a woman. That middle ambiguous area really makes me feel comfortable with myself – strong, confident, and more like who I really am. I guess I am gender queer.

But, where does sexuality fit into that? Can someone who is gender queer be gay, or straight? How can you say with any certainty who you are interested in? I envy those people who are so sure of their sexuality that they completely know who they are attracted to. It leaves me feeling inadequate and confused.

My philosophy is to live my life being who I am – never lying to anyone about myself ever again. When I find someone who lights my fire, I am confident that the physical will fall into place. Whoever I fall in love with will win my heart, regardless of gender. I only hope that someone will love me for me like that – for me and not my sexual organs.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on September 4th, 2014 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 6 comments »

6 Responses to “My philosophy”

  1. Anonymous

    IMO you’re already squarely on the right track. Don’t worry about labels, wether it’s your gender or your sexuality. Just do what’s most comfortable and authentic for you!

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  2. WolfieKate

    I wish I had come to this point on my own life sooner. My teens and 20s and 30s were so confused. My son has autism and it’s always referred to as a spectrum now – he sits somewhere on that spectrum but he is like no other person on there. I think that’s a helpful comparison. Well a little bit! If we all sit on a spectrum we’re all unique in how our authentic selves are. I often wonder how I would be had I been born male, I adore male bodies and all that goes with them. Female bodies leave me cold! I tried to talk to some friends about how I felt and they immediately confused gender with sex. Who I am is not a direct tie with who I am attracted too. And I love the ambiguous middle ground too – I feel I have space to grow there. But it’s not linked to my sexuality directly.

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  3. Joe

    “When I find someone who lights my fire, I am confident that the physical will fall into place. Whoever I fall in love with will win my heart, regardless of gender. I only hope that someone will love me for me like that – for me and not my sexual organs.”

    I feel precisely the same way. From everything I have read it is called pansexual. lol I don’t really care to be honest. Call me whatever you like and if it happens to be something negative then you are undeserving of my notice in the first place.

    I think if more people could come to a point where they don’t care what other think of them their lives would end up being much happier. lol A “Fuck ’em all!” philosophy.

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  4. alex

    omg exactly how i feel..it makes me happy knowing i’m not the only person that feels this way:)

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  5. Anonymous

    I don’t feel that anyone should ever HAVE to choose a label. Just allow yourself to be attracted to whoever you’re attracted to regardless of what parts they may have, and if you notice a trend after a year or two or ten and realize you’re almost always attracted to only one or a couple types of people and you want to slap a label on it then go for it. But don’t hold yourself back from falling for a really amazing person just because they don’t fit your label….

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  6. alex

    it’s as if i had written this whole passage… i feel the exact same way!!!
    but i still am not at all as confident as i wish i was.. i’m still figuring out how i can show the world who i am without fear

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