You can call me… Dominic or Zunny

I identify as… I.. I’m not sure. I’m really not sure. I wish to be a male. When I look in the mirror I see a stranger. I think “I wish those lumps of fat weren’t there,” and press my chest in. Then I feel slightly more comfortable with myself.

But at the same time, I’m unhappy with my body. Weight, structure. Those common things.

I am terrified of not being recognized as a male. Losing the attention my “femininity” gains me. Which is incredibly vain.

But, reading a few profiles here, and really thinking about this, I recognize that I would very much prefer this. To be a Dominic, or a Constantic, a Balthazar, Salazar or such. I want this.
I wear skirts. I wear make-up at times. But as we do know, gender identification and gender expression aren’t the same thing.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I have grown up as a she for 17 years. I’ve worn dresses. I’ve acted as a female. But that doesn’t mean I feel like one.

If people feel more comfortable calling he a “she” or anything like that, go ahead. It won’t kill me.
I would still very much prefer if you saw me as a feminine male.

I’m attracted to… Kind souls, no matter the sex. It could be an 43 year old transexual male, or an asexual 20 year old person in between.

As long as our personalities click, I’ll like you.

When people talk about me, I want them to… See me as me. As the 17 year old, slightly autistic, kind, hot-tempered, caring, unselfish, confused, freaked out little boymangirllady I am.
I want them to look at ME, give ME a chance, and not my gender.

I want them to be honest with me. And I want them not to be scared or feel like they can’t share things with me.

I want people to understand… That although I’m doing my best with what I’ve got, I’m still torn about this. I don’t know how to handle it myself, and until I can be two hundred percent sure with myself, and although I don’t want them to, people’s opinions matter.

I can tell myself that they don’t, I can laugh it away. But they’ll still be there when the day ends. My insecurities being fueled by comments from the outside.

About Dominic or Zunny
If I don’t like someone, I’ll let them know. But if I do like you, I will be like a dog. Loyal, caring and ready to treat your issues and insecurities as my own.
I have a clear view on what I want in life. Well, for most part.
I don’t know what I want to do in life. I don’t know how I’m going to handle my gender. Do I try it out? Will people recognize my feelings and treat me as a man? Will people still view me in a similar way, even though just one detail has changed?
I have so many questions and no one to ask. No one who can actually relate and give me straight answers.

» Define yourself. «