Question: hair/coming out

erin asks…

So hey, I have two questions. Firstly, what’s a good gender fluid/bi-gender haircut I can get that I can style for my male and female days?

Secondly, how do I come out to an un-expecting group of family and friends? I have been in the closet for about a year now…..

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on February 17th, 2014 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 4 comments »

4 Responses to “Question: hair/coming out”

  1. Mel

    A good asymmetrical pixie can be worn very fem or manly depending on how you style it.
    As for the family/friend thing.. I’m just as lost as you. Been “in the closet” myself to most of my family/friends for about 7 years now.. :(


  2. Anna

    ^ Seconding the pixie. As with all short cuts, it’ll need monthly maintenance, so keep that in mind if cost is a consideration.

    I had a pixie cut for a while, but my hair’s really fine and doesn’t hold product well, so it always just kind of… sat wherever I combed it.
    I’ve had a mohawk (that I don’t wear up) for two years, and I buzz the sides and trim the top & back myself. It suits my need for low-maintenance hair and works with button-downs and dresses. Believe it or not, I work in a synagogue! No one’s ever said a word about the hawk.

    As for coming out… I’ve come out gradually to friends and family over Facebook by posting articles about the spectrum of sexualities and gender identities (with an emphasis on genderqueer stuff), as well as commenting on LGBTQ* news — so even if people may not “get” my identity, they definitely get that I won’t tolerate hate-speech. I’ve found that folks who want to talk about my queerness have started up conversations on their own, and folks who don’t, or don’t yet, leave it alone.
    I know that this isn’t the ideal method, or even a safe one, for a lot of people. If you want to come out, I hope you find a way that works for you. xx


  3. Anonymous

    I’m wondering about this too. I’m sick of my long/feminine/boring hair and I’m itching to take it all off, but I’m worried I’ll look entirely masculine (I don’t ever wear makeup) or it will look bad (not that what I currently have looks any good).


  4. Anonymous

    My hair is a huge stress for me too. It’s long and obviously feminine, but as I’m thinking about coming-out as genderqueer, I want to do something else with it. I’ve never had short hair and I always hide behind my long hair, so I don’t know how I’d cope with short hair. That said, there’s no way I can present masculine with it and I know that I really just need to chop it off. Now I just need a haircut idea and the courage.


Leave a Reply

Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

For legal reasons, you must be age 13 or older to post a comment on Genderfork.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.

Back to top