Throw caution to the wind

Someone wrote…

I wish I could sign my name here.

But I don’t identify with my ultra binary name and I haven’t gotten the courage to change it. If it were up to me I’d just throw caution to the wind and start introducing myself as something more neutral, more comfortable, more me.

I know that I’d end up going by two different names, because my family would never call me something else. The dilemma will probably never cease.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on September 10th, 2014 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Throw caution to the wind”

  1. QWG

    As someone whose family can’t even refer to me by my preferred unisex-ish nickname (one I’ve had all my life) derivative of my binary legal name, I just want to give you a hug. I wish I could say it gets better, but in my experience, three years out from telling my family my preferred name, it hasn’t … and legally changing it to my nickname/use-name (which I mean to do now I’ve chosen a middle name) isn’t going to make any difference to them. (They just don’t remember.)

    Being someone you’re not just to interact with your family is truly tough. I hope things work out better for you.


  2. El

    I know how you feel. I used to go by two names, my male birth name with most people and my chosen female nickname for those I trusted. I tried to think of it as a nickname rather than a different on but it was too hard. If you go by two names then people are mostly going to use the simpler one, the one that makes sense for them. For a while it felt quite good to have my closest friends and my queer friends use my female nickname even though I’m obviously male-bodied but I’ve given up on all that now. I’m just not brave enough to live in the light like that. I’m sure there will be brave queers that will pave the way and set us free. It’s happening every day.


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