A Comfortable Skin

Someone wrote…

Since I was little, gender had been a kind of issue in my life. Despite being assigned female at birth, I never quite conformed with the expectations.

A moment when I was silenced, which I distinctly remember, was when I was 5 years old, and I came to my mom all upset and told her “mom… I feel like a guy.” Not knowing anything about transgendered or nonbinary people up until this year, my mother affirmed I was a girl and ‘always will be.’

Since then though, I had doubted who I was even more. I constantly found myself trying to confirm to people who viewed me as cisgendered that I was, only because inside I felt I wasn’t.

Up until this year, I had struggled with who I was. Not only did I find out my sexual and romantic orientations, but my gender identity as well. Sort of.

I can only say that I’m not male nor female, but I’m also not agendered, or genderfluid, and that honestly… I’m just me. What I’ve come to identify as more accurately is genderqueer/nonbinary and I changed my pronouns to they/them. And you know what? I’m comfortable with that. I’d always been comfortable in my own skin, but now it’s more than ever.

I’m in the process of coming out, (and also getting my hair cut to a length I like better) and I know it’s a long way to go, but I’ve never felt more relieved to know that I was normal, in a way, and not at all tied down to the gender norms or binary that society tried to force-feed me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on January 1st, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice Comment »

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