I Can Choose

Someone wrote…

I’m 16, and I’m currently dealing with my abusive mother and her ramblings about college and how I’ll never survive and how I’m too selfish and all this crap. I am genderfluid and pansexual, and I tend to mix all my problems together, resulting in a snowballing effect (which often leads to panic attacks, yay me).

My mother and my identity questionings are some of my many problems. Having been stuck in an abusive relationship for so long, especially one where I am called selfish, thoughtless, and over-dependent, I am very bad at separating my problems and dealing with them individually. This is not a healthy mindset, you see.

I’m gradually recovering, however – if you can recover while something is ongoing.

I’m learning how to separate my problems, and I’m learning that I can take time and ponder my gender and orientation. I can revel in my identity, AND I can rant and rave to the Internet. And. That’s the important part. It’s not a dichotomy, and it’s not a dictatorship. I can choose what I want to do to deal with my life, and my mother can’t change my mind.


Hey, gimme a break. I’m still learning.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on December 8th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice One comment »

One Response to “I Can Choose”

  1. KJ

    Don’t give up!
    It get’s better.
    No matter how isolatedt you may be or feel right now: You are not alone with this!
    Your life will be great!
    Wishing you a nice break and a beautiful day.


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