I Can’t Stop Thinking

Someone wrote…

So in a few days I will get my first shot of testosterone. And now I can’t sleep and I find this little four year old girl inside me, that cries and screams “please don’t destroy me!!!”

She is scared and I am also. I thought I got rid of the girl in me a long time ago. Now she is there. And I am surprised and scared to death with what I am about to do. I can’t figure if this girl is just this, a girl that wants to stay a girl… or is it just the fear from all that will happen… all I know is I need sleep, but I can’t stop thinking…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on February 16th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 3 comments »

3 Responses to “I Can’t Stop Thinking”

  1. Anonymous

    Friend –

    There is absolutely no shame in putting off physical changes until you’ve found your peace. There is nothing wrong with wanting something, then being faced with it and choosing a different path. If you decide to go ahead with testosterone, your current questioning won’t make your ultimate decision any less valid. No matter what choice you make, the queer community will be richer for your experience. Take your time, and try to be open to your own answers.

    Here’s hoping you find some sweet dreams!


  2. petro

    Why not put it off, at least for now? That way, you’ll get some sleep.


  3. Anonymous

    As someone who has fully transitioned I know what your feeling.
    What I will say and what I learnt going from guy to girl is that you never destroy the person you were. You need to learn to let that person be a part of you now and not destroy her, there is no specific way to be s gender, to be trans or to feel. You can postpone if you feel you need to but look at who you are, what you want and where your coming from. Embrace your past and allow yourself to grow in whatever direction that takes you.


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