I Want to be Neutral Again

Someone wrote…

When I was a kid, I looked pretty gender-neutral. I wanted to climb trees and hang out with boys, but I was just “an ugly girl,” so I hung out with my two other “ugly girl” friends. I wanted to be pretty, so I could hang out with the other 19 kids in my class, too, but no.

Nowadays, I look very much like a girl. I have strong hip game, I’m short, I have pretty red hair, and I sing mezzo-soprano. I still don’t hang out with the “normal” people, since those I know are stupid, assholes, or both. I still have my friends. But now I want to cut all my long hair off. I want to be tall. I want to sing baritone. I want to be genderfluid and pass as male without the anxiety of bathrooms and binders.

Nowadays, it’s so painfully obvious I’m a girl. I can’t go to the right bathroom without getting yelled at and chased out. I get weird looks in the locker room, since I sewed my binder myself. I got catcalled the other day! I was wearing my baggiest Tshirt and jeans!

I don’t want to look so strongly female. I want to be neutral again..

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on May 7th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice Comment »

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