Mixed Feelings

Someone wrote…

I’m genderqueer, predominantly agender and dmab. I’m having mixed feelings about coming out and what that even means for someone like me. I’ve always viewed coming out as a way of owning a marginalised identity, but I don’t really feel like my identity is marginalized, other than being invisible. I’m don’t mind at all whether I’m gendered male, gendered female or gendered anything else by others – they all feel equally abstract and unreal when applied to me. I’m fine with any and all pronouns, and I never feel misgendered. Therefore I benefit from most of male privilege, without feeling any attachment to male gender norms or masculinity.

I feel like if I was to come out I would be taking up space that would benefit more marginalised genderqueer and non-binary people more than it would benefit me. I think for the moment I want to support other genderqueer and nonbinary people as an ally without being explicitly out and visible myself.

The one area I do feel restricted in is in my gender expression, but that doesn’t relate directly or simply to my identity and, well, you don’t need to “come out” as gender non-conforming: it’s pretty obvious when you’re rocking both a beard and nail polish.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on October 25th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice Comment »

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