Someone wrote…

I’m genderqueer, predominantly agender and dmab. I’m having mixed feelings about coming out and what that even means for someone like me. I’ve always viewed coming out as a way of owning a marginalised identity, but I don’t really feel like my identity is marginalized, other than being invisible. I’m don’t mind at all whether I’m gendered male, gendered female or gendered anything else by others – they all feel equally abstract and unreal when applied to me. I’m fine with any and all pronouns, and I never feel misgendered. Therefore I benefit from most of male privilege, without feeling any attachment to male gender norms or masculinity.

I feel like if I was to come out I would be taking up space that would benefit more marginalised genderqueer and non-binary people more than it would benefit me. I think for the moment I want to support other genderqueer and nonbinary people as an ally without being explicitly out and visible myself.

The one area I do feel restricted in is in my gender expression, but that doesn’t relate directly or simply to my identity and, well, you don’t need to “come out” as gender non-conforming: it’s pretty obvious when you’re rocking both a beard and nail polish.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?