Preferred Names

Someone wrote…

The struggle is so real. I recently figured out my preferred name (all I knew was that I couldn’t stand my birth name). However, I have ADHD, which sometimes makes me a bit absent-minded, to the point where I’ll refer to myself by my birth name, even in my head. Totally on accident, of course, but still:

…I literally forget my own name. *Single tear*

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on August 21st, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Preferred Names”

  1. QWG

    I’ve been using my preferred name for three and a half years, and my pronouns for two and a half, and I still forget and refer to myself as my birth name … and with my birth pronouns. (That last hurts me more than my name, to be honest. 95% of people misgender me; surely I can manage to not contribute to this state of awful by misgendering myself?) And I’m one of those people that gets hung up on remembering details and expecting everyone else to do the same.

    So don’t feel alone. It doesn’t feel great to misname/misgender myself, but the habit of how we think about ourselves is a hard one to break, for some of us. And that’s normal and okay. You’re still every inch the person you say you are. :)


  2. Matt

    So I’m Matt and I understand completely the struggle I still get called my birthname by everyone even though everyone who is close to me knows of my preferred name but still cannot call me Matt and I kinda bit my tongue with it but even male pronouns which I thought wouldn’t be so hard to just say he instead of her but even that’s not happening, I’ve been getting on about it to people just remind them but nobody seems to be listening it’s very frustrating as when my parents call me my birthname I have to reply and some people say her or she or birthname to even spite me but I don’t think they get how much it actually upsets me it’s not a matter to just play with its serious and it’s really starting to get me down because it feels like nobody is respecting my wishes
    Just know you’re not alone and there’s always light at the end of the tunnel if I’ve got hope then for sure bet you can too! I still have to use my birthname to interact with family etc and legal reasons so I am never forget about it as much as I wish at least on a personal level Matt could just be used or even him or he once every while right


  3. Charlie22

    Hang in there! I also occasionally make mistakes with my own name. It happens less overtime in my experience.


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