Question: Am I Trans?

Tory asks…

Hi everyone. I’m 22 and born and raised as a girl. I have always been pretty masculine and dressed more neutral. But I recently realized I have always despised being called she. I took karate and ballet but in both I hung out with the guys and wanted to be them. I thought I was just gay or something but now I think it might be more.

How did you know you were trans? Am I?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 10th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Question: Am I Trans?”

  1. Deleecious

    Counter question: do you want to be? Alright, this may sound odd. People don’t choose to be trans after all, and usually transition will grate your nerves with all the bureaucracy, the costs… and yet, if I say “yup, you’re trans” – how does it make you feel? More like a relieved “ah, that finally explains my anxiety, now what’s the next step to feel better?” or more “oh no… I wish you had told me I’m a perfectly normal girl who doesn’t conform to traditional gender roles”?

    Since you despise being referred to as she, let me just add I’m pleased to meet a boy who’s ballsy enough to take ballet lessons, Victor.

    Ok, how did that make you feel? If you don’t enjoy being called Victor (which I assumed would be where the nick Tory comes from), can you think of any other male names that sound as if they fit you? Female ones? Neutral?

    The internet can be a great place for anyone questioning their identity. At the cost of a few mouse clicks you can invent yourself a male persona. Does it come natural to you? Or do you struggle? What are your thoughts? Excitement over the opportunity to express another part of you? Nervosity of being outed as a female? Do you experience more guilt about tricking other people or pride for successfully passing as a guy?

    Ultimately it all comes down to what makes you comfortable. You can’t choose whether you were born a girl or boy, and you don’t really choose whether or not you’re trans. However, it is up to you who you prefer to be and in which way you want to present yourself to the world. If you want, you can be a man, or a woman. Or both. Or neither. You can decide to live full time as your preferred gender once you have figured out which one it is, or perhaps pick your preference every day anew as you lay out your clothes.

    There’s no right or wrong answer to the question. Whatever works for you is what you should pursue. Make the most of your life. Figure out who you always longed to be, and then try to become that person.

    I’m not saying it’s easy. Sometimes even finding out what you want can be a long and scary process. You may be awfully far from your goal, or you might have to deal with people who don’t understand your decisions. Unfortunately in some parts of the world discovering your true self can even put you in danger, and so I cross my fingers you live in an area where you can freely express the gender (or lack thereof) that sounds and feels right for you.

    Well then, Tory… thanks for reading this far, and much of success in the search for your very own gender identity ;-)


    tigr replied:

    I love genderfork and all you lovely genderforkers out there. Thank you <3


  2. Anonymous

    As far as I can tell, there’s no way to know if you’re trans or not. I… well… I have a story about that, but this isn’t the time for it.

    You feel the way you do, and you can’t help that. You do get to choose how to present yourself, though. I don’t think anyone can tell you whether you are, for sure.

    The only thing that’s certain is that you’re a person and you deserve a good life.


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