Question: Gender help?

Caitlin asks…

Okay, so I’m a 14 year old girl. I’ve always been a tomboy. When I was younger I always wanted to be a boy. Eventually I grew out of it to a point. I’ve never told anyone I would be happier as a guy.

Lately I’ve been thinking that I actually would be happier as a guy. I’ve always dressed like a guy, acted like a guy, talked like a guy, and hung out with guys over girls. Sometimes I get confused for a guy, but it doesn’t bother me. Really it kinda makes me happy people would see me as a guy over a girl. Honestly I’m tempted to be a guy instead of a girl, but I’m afraid to. I’m afraid everyone around me will push on me that it’s a phase.

My family and friends know I’m a lesbian and they’re fine with it, but I’m not sure how they would react to me saying I’m transgender all of a sudden.

Has anyone got any advice?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 30th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Question: Gender help?”

  1. Anonymous

    You don’t have to label it, just say what you wrote or show them.


  2. Rusty

    I feel like there’s usually a risk and often a sacrifice when coming out. Do you think it’s worth being misunderstood or uncomfortable, even if only for a short time? Do your friends and family seem accepting of other trans people, and if not, do you think they could come around? How much stake do you put in their acceptance vs. your comfort with expressing your own identity and being out?

    You could provide them with resources if they have trouble understanding the whole process and the very real possibility that a person can go from lesbian to trans. In any case, you have to do what is right for you as an individual, as well as what you think would make you feel safe enough.

    Hopefully that doesn’t make it seem even more complicated.


  3. David

    At 14, depending on how far along you are in puberty, you might still be at an age that you can go on hormone blockers (puberty inhibitors) to delay further female-type development. That would give you more time (up to a year) to decide what you want to be. If you decide to become a woman, you would just stop the blockers. If you decide to become a man, you would then go on male hormones. Getting insurance to pay for blockers can be hard, but there is a big advantage: much less has to be undone if you decide to transition to a fully masculine identity. Getting blockers could be difficult without your parents’ support, so you would probably have to come out to them fairly soon.


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