Question: Help with what to come out to mum as.

Kay asks…

Hi, I’m Kay and I’m confused as hell.

I’m a female makeup artist, who thinks I’m like 70/30 female to male. Maybe less male, maybe more. Maybe labels like Female and Male don’t matter and are a contrived notion. But I love being female, I love my curves and my girls and giggling with them about men and sex…but I also feel there’s a healthy side order of male living in here too. Maybe everyone has that but I’m not so I’ve yet to find a label I think fits my situation, and I guess that’s why I’m here, to learn more from you beautiful enlightened people about gender and what I am.

I’ve been openly bisexual since 18 with my friends, haven’t told my family because I’ve never had to, it’s none of their business and they wouldn’t care. If and when I fall in love with a woman I’ll tell them. My mum brought me up to believe love is love so I know it wouldn’t be an issue. “Mum I occasionally like to sleep with women” isn’t really a conversation I’ve felt the need to have though. Although it’s probably about time.

Just needed to say all this to someone really. I want to talk to my mum about it but I just wish I had a clear thing I could say mum I’m this ….

She’d be able to understand that. She’s a liberal hippy at heart. I guess I’m worried that explaining it the way I just have to you all would make it sound a bit wishy washy airy fairy, when actually it’s been on my mind a lot recently. It’s something I need her to understand. But how can she when I don’t?

I feel a bit silly asking about this really, when there are so many out there facing real struggles and facing danger. It kind of feels like a stupid problem, but it’s me ya know? Who I feel I am inside. I’m close with my mum. I tell her most things. I want her to know me. The I’m bisexual part will be so much easier because it’s a clear label she gets. She supports the lgbt community.

I’m rambling. Sorry.

You’re all strong, beautiful and awesome sauce.

I’d like to buy you all a pint x

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on November 17th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: questions One comment »

One Response to “Question: Help with what to come out to mum as.”

  1. Chris

    Hello Kay,

    You bring up some valid concerns, everyone has something they want to communicate to someone close to them and they’re trying to figure out how to say it….For me, it comes down to an innate fear I have of losing those dear to me because they’ll turn their backs on me, that would crush me.
    Maybe it’s best to just be honest with yourself while in their presence….Your Mum seems like a pretty open and accepting person, which is wonderful…..I wish all good things for you Kay!


Leave a Reply

Can I show your picture? If you have a Gravatar associated with this email address, it will be displayed as your photo. If not, I'll just put a picture of a fork next to your comment. Everybody likes forks.

Be nice. Judgmental comments will be quietly deleted and blacklisted. There's plenty of room for those elsewhere on the web.

For legal reasons, you must be age 13 or older to post a comment on Genderfork.

You can use some HTML tags for formatting, e.g. <em>...</em> for emphasis (italics) or <strong>...</strong> for strong emphasis (bold) or <a href="http://(url)">...</a> for links.

Back to top