Question: How do I stop feeling stuck?
Liam asks…
Just out of high school, starting to transition from female to male. I have a new name, and I’ve come out to my parents (and close family). I can’t reasonably start therapy since I’ll be moving away to college in August.
But since I’ve told myself that, my dysphoria has been getting worse, and every misgendering instance at work has been driving me insane. I feel like I’m stuck – I can’t do any hormone therapy for another 2-3 years (singing is getting me scholarship money and I can’t risk that). In the meantime, I have no clue on how to feel as though I’m progressing in my transition. I’m caught between barely-supportive parents and college expenses, and I’m completely helpless.
Can anyone offer some advice?
Please post your response in the comments below.
» Ask Genderfork «
Category: questions 3 comments »
August 18th, 2015 at 7:33 pm |
If I were you, I would talk to your college. You might be able to live in a male dorm or have your actual name. I find that being really open about being trans is helpful. Also, you could work out. It generally makes me feel better.
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August 18th, 2015 at 9:51 pm |
And if you aren’t allowed to use your real name, I’ve found that using a genderneutral nickname based on your given name helps a bit. For example, Samantha = Sam, Charlotte = Charlie, Victoria = Tory, etc. It’s not perfect, but it works. My given name is Erika, so I had everyone call me Ricky until I came out, at which point I started going by Erik. Hope this works in a pinch. Good luck, Liam :)
[Reply]
August 30th, 2015 at 3:59 am |
The most important thing for you is to love yourself above all else. Use this time you have until you can start hormones to work on handling your dysphoria. Getting misgendered sucks, but every time it happens it presents an opportunity for you to gain strength in your journey. You can educate others on your experiences and truths just by correcting them. It will be awkward and people may look at you funny. But there will be a few people who will have their eyes opened and realize that the “if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck” mantra doesn’t apply to people. The more you stand up for yourself and correct people, the more confident you’ll become. Practice makes perfect. If your school provides mental health services I’d seek that out as well. We all need someone to vent to from time to time who is qualified to help us get mentally well.
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