Question: Moving Through the Gender Spectrum

Kat asks…

I’m an 18 year old gender-fluid person from England, and I’m having a bit of a crisis.

I was assigned female at birth, but mainly dress as a male or androgynous. I recently found some old make-up from when I was a child, and tried some of it on and frankly I look like a clown.

I really want to embrace my female side, but I’m too scared, as reactions from all the people around me have literally been ‘but you’d look silly’ or ‘it’s a stage’.

I came out to everyone as gay and gender-fluid, but apparently people have a problem accepting me as my birth gender? I find this an ironic reversal of the all-too-common non-acceptance of people changing from their birth gender to their true gender, and would like some help from people who are gender-fluid or have good advice, on how to appear more feminine, and how on earth make-up works?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on March 13th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Question: Moving Through the Gender Spectrum”

  1. Tay

    The reason your friends have a harder time accepting your femininity is probably for similar reasons that most trans women have a harder time being accepted as their gender than many trans men. I think it has to do with femininity being seen as worse than masculinity if you’re moving from a masculine to a more feminine representation.

    As for how to figure out how makeup works, I suggest going to a salon or a makeup store (Mac or Sephora preferrably) and ask them to help you figure out a look and see how they apply everything, then buy pricier foundation stuff and powder (to prevent breakouts) and just get everything else from cheaper brands. All that’s what I’ve done, and it’s worked well enough so far. Drug stores have a lot of surprisingly good stuff. Also, less is more with makeup, and don’t think you have to doll yourself up (unless you want to :P)


  2. curvyblubird

    Here are some links for some basic how-tos from some great beauty bloggers- it’s how i learned how to use makeup!

    Have fun and good luck!


  3. Georgie

    I’m in a similar situation to yourself – afab genderqueer person who prefers to dress (mostly) androgynous/masculine. When I first realised I was genderqueer, I really tried to reject my feminine side, as I thought (at the time) that it would mean that I’m ‘not really’ genderqueer. But, of course, that idea is rooted in cis/heteronormativity, as well as society valuing masculinity and ‘maleness’ over any other form of gender expression.
    So I say embrace every side of your personality, and don’t feel as if you have to always be ‘masculine’ or ‘androgynous’ just because other people expect that of you.
    With regards to make-up, I’m not really an expert on that! But I’d agree with Tay, that less is usually more! But to be honest, you should do whatever makes you feel comfortable – if that means just wearing foundation then that’s cool, or if you like loads of colour/thick eyeliner/rosy cheeks then I say go for it! :)
    However you choose to present yourself, do it for you, not anyone else. And as long as you’re comfortable and happy with the way you look, then it’s all good :D


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