Question: What’s my gender?

Charlie asks…

So, I’m Charlie. (Not my born name, but I use this for both privacy of my real identity & if I was to go by another gender fluid name, this would be it.)

I still don’t quite know how to label myself. I was born a girl, but a lot of time (though not always) I wish I was a (gay) man. But it gets a bit more complicated. Sometimes within the wishing of being a man, is sometimes wishing to be a cross dressing man. (By the way, I’m pansexual)

I always go by woman pronouns & always dress as a woman, but mainly because I don’t know how my family would feel if I dressed as a man. On top of that, I feel my girly features would outshine my female features in my “guy moods”. I know this makes me seems gender fluid, but I feel I have more than just 2 genders. I think I have a female & male combined gender, which is why I think I’m trigender, but there’s still my “cross dresser” mood.

If anyone can help with finding a label for myself, please do!! I have no idea how to identify myself….

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 6th, 2015 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 5 comments »

5 Responses to “Question: What’s my gender?”

  1. minefloozle

    Hey, Charlie!

    Genderfluid people can have lots of different genders. I’m not saying you have to identify as that, but just to let you know!

    Some people are partially one gender (or a combination of genders) and partially one (or more others) that change. Some people change gender entirely. Some people sometimes do one or sometimes the other, or any other combination of genders or lack of gender!

    I don’t know if I can help you define yourself– I can’t experience you, after all! And I’m new to this too– but I did want to let you know that I sometimes experience that “cross-dressing man” feeling as well (I call it my “boy in a dress” feeling, because I’m working on seeing clothes as non-gendered.).

    It’s okay to have no idea how to identify yourself! This shit’s difficult. Maybe try out different labels and see if any fit, or if some fit some of the time and others fit other times? That’s what I did for a while (and still am doing).


  2. Xoras

    I was assigned female at birth but now transitioning to male. I sometimes love cross-dressing to female – not because I wish to be a woman, but because I just like female clothes, painting my nails, using makeup etc. from time to time. I have long hair as well.
    My female body felt wrong (some parts still do feel wrong because I haven’t had any surgeries yet, but It’s better since I started HRT), and I really prefer male pronouns and names – that’s why I identify as trans. But my gender, my social representation, is quite queer. So I’ would label me as a genderqueer transguy.


    piig replied:

    I just wanted to say this is similar to my experience. I’m FtM, several years on testosterone and have had top surgery. Every step I’ve taken in transitioning my body physically has helped me feel more comfortable. I like experimenting with things like nail polish and makeup — partly because I associate them with celebration and special/fun occasions, partly to challenge gender norms and expectations, and partly because I just plain like glitter.


  3. XylophoneGender

    There are so many options! Here’s a neat website to help show you how many options there are:

    Also, one that’s not on there but neat is alexigender (
    “proposed new gender label: alexigender

    Meaning “a fluid gender experience, where you are aware that your gender is changing but cannot label each individual gender”

    ie: I know my gender is different today than it was yesterday, but I don’t know which genders those are

    bonus etymology: prefix a- means “none, lack of”, root lexi- meaning “words”. Alexigender = not having words for gender”


    thomas replied:

    You don’t have to worry about this. There are a lot of people out there who can’t identify their gender. They are gender less. I was born in a female body. But i always felt like a male. I thought i’m a transgender. I had my top surgery at Dr Hugh mcLean’s clinic last year and now i’m slowly transforming to a male. Now i identify myself as a male. You will find your way as thousands have done before.


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