Waiting
Someone wrote…
I waited for me being sure
I waited for therapy
I waited for the right time to come out to my family and friends
I waited for T
I waited for a new job because my old boss fired me
I wait for a little bit of passing
I wait for not being mistaken for a lesbian or just a girl
I wait for my name change
I wait for my mother to stop ignoring my transitionI am sick of waiting! That kind of waiting that equals fighting to survive and reach the next step with the last bit of energy. Will this ever stop?
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on November 26th, 2015 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice One comment »
December 4th, 2015 at 5:59 pm |
What I did was I asked my friend for the name of her plastic surgeon. Then I called that surgeon. And then I made an appointment. And in a handful of days, I’ll then go in and sit down and talk about whether I can get surgery. That’s been about 4 steps. I put it off for months, but that entire first 3-step process took total maybe 15 minutes.
Same thing with name. I waited 7 months since I decided to get a name change. And so about a week ago, I looked up the paperwork. Then I filled it out. Then I began the process of obtaining a copy of my birth certificate. Three steps, about 1 hour. Not done yet but not waiting anymore.
When trying to pass, I was upset that people were misgendering me. But it’s not them misgendering that’s the thing that got me MOST. It’s that they didn’t know and therefore it wasn’t they’re fault and therefore I couldn’t be upset with them so I had to be upset with myself. So instead of being stuck, I [waited for months and then] found a couple fabulous sites that talked about things like what makes people look gay vs their gender, like baggy pants = lesbian, spiked bracelets = boy. And I learned the reasons for those things. That research took about 30 minutes. The process of building shoulder muscle and picking out a haircut provided me with about 30 minutes of satisfying goal-oriented achievement.
And with my mother I just ignored her back but you know yours better than I know yours so idk if that one’ll work for you.
It’s similar to depression. We want to be this person and do this stuff and etc, but we don’t do it because we so don’t like the idea of NOT having these certain-gender traits and we know that *getting there* means we’re *not* there, so we don’t get there. You kinda just gotta do it.
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