Keep People Questioning
Someone wrote…
I like to dress very androgynously, and like to keep people questioning if I’m male or female. I would feel very flattered if someone mistook me for a male, and I would feel understanding if someone mistook me for female, but anyone who straight up said “You are a man” or “You are a woman”, would make me feel uncomfortable.
What’s your experience?
Posted by Freiya on March 13th, 2016 at 08:00 am
Category: your voice 2 comments »
March 14th, 2016 at 8:00 am |
I think the problem I have with straight up being asked if I’m a boy or a girl, is that I’m both, and sometimes I feel like neither. Once they ask you, you have two choices, respond with “boy” or “girl” and then be placed in a stereotypical box by them, and be questioned every time you wear nail polish, or a suit. Or (choice two) you can teach gender101 to someone who potentially already has trouble accepting transexuals, and doesn’t even want to think about there being more than two genders, but I’ve also taught people who were accepting and are now more knowledgeable and better off because I felt up to teaching gender101.
It’s my gender and the only person that fully needs to understand it is me, but how do I expect others to become more accepting if no steps up and challenges what they’ve been taught their whole life? But if you don’t want to take the teaching route sometimes the best way to teach is by example, instead of words.
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March 20th, 2016 at 11:17 am |
I’d like people to just see me as neither, but questioning is a good compromise. I especially like situations where I can see that people have taken it for granted that I am a man or a woman and then suddenly there comes a double take and they think I’m a woman or a a man… or *am* I?
People don’t usually ask me if I’m a man/boy or woman/girl, but when it happens I try to answer “no”. Maybe “not today” would be good too.
I have played around with the idea that in Finnish I could say that the short answer is “en” (am not) and the long answer is “olen” (I am), but I’m not sure if that actually fits my identity.
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