Question: Is my gender fluid or flux??

Ryan asks…

A while ago I started identifying as agender or greygender. I definitely feel that a part of me is neutral and has an absense of gender. Some days or for a series of days, I feel more feminine and more connected to being a girl, but not completely. Then other days that feeling is absent. I recently found the terms “demifluid” and “demiflux” and I’m trying to understand those terms further. Any help would be very appreciated!

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Posted by on July 29th, 2016 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Question: Is my gender fluid or flux??”

  1. Cass

    In all honesty, you are you and I can’t tell you who that is. I identify without gender and it’s difficult for me to imagine feeling male or female.
    I suggest experimenting with it and going with what you feel. If you’re feeling more neutral and wanting to present as such, go for it! Likewise, if you feel like putting on make-up or a skirt, it’s your body and you’re choice. Don’t worry about labels and names until you understand the feeling. I wish you luck in your adventures!


  2. Eola-Ystwyth

    I have almost half a century on my back of male acculturation. More recently I came out as a transgender, nonbinary person. Due to the nature of my job, I normally dress ‘male’, with trousers, polo and black shoes (I’m a cleaner) but when I’m off work I wear skirts, makeup, complements, ankle boots and what not. From the somewhat nebulous definition of trans* I’ve embraced the term of ‘queerfemme’ because it defines my feelings with more precision than the formal AMAB, nonbinary label. I don’t hope to be successful in trying to explain to others what ‘femme’ means for me, as it is a very personal feeling. On the surface it may be just a love for fashion and pretty things, but deep inside I can recognise it as an energy that flows gently, telling me that everything’s OK as it is. That love for myself and the gentle interaction with the world that stems from it, is what I call ‘femininity’. Ultimately, I don’t think gender can be defined with a word or a mix of cleverly made up words, no matter how well they may fit a particular type of experience or circumstance. Just being oneself, in loving silence, should be enough.


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