Question: Passing as Genderless

A.Nonny.Mouse asks…

Hello. So, I’m Agender (Genderless) as I would like to be perceived that way. I don’t know how to ‘pass’ for genderless, as I’m afraid I will be seen as masculine. (I was born female.) I thought binding might help, but I’m unsure. Any tips/suggestions would be amazing! Thank you!

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Posted by on July 21st, 2016 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 2 comments »

2 Responses to “Question: Passing as Genderless”

  1. Anonymous

    This is a problem you share with every non-binary person. There is no cultural norm for how to present as genders other than male or female, and a lot of people are ignorant of the fact that genders other than these two exist at all, let alone the fact that someone might not even have a gender. I am afab agender and have had a drastic breast reduction (not quite complete removal, but very close). People will frown and stare at my chest, realising that something is off, but if we interact they will almost invariably gender me female. I personally want to be allowed to wear whatever clothes I want, so I am generally not trying to dress up as genderless (however that would look). I don’t think there is any way to avoid the gendering, so long as the culture you live in has no understanding of, or assigned role for, gender non-conforming people. I wouldn’t recommend binding, unless you suffer from dysphoria over your breasts. Binding is hard on the body, and can lead to permanent negative effects over time. I realise this is probably not very helpful, but this is my experience, and I have been living as agender for several decades now. Hope you find some way to feel comfortable with your (lack of) gender, despite general society not acknowledging our existence.

    [Reply]

  2. anta

    I don’t really understand anything about fashions or styles, so I can only repeat what I’ve heard other people say over the years.

    All people are different, so what works for others doesn’t necessarily work for you. Some people say that if you are “physically” female, you should try to avoid form-fitting clothing in order to pass as androgynous, but too loose clothing will only “add to your curves” and probably not look stylish (whatever that is).

    I have this problem where people constantly see me as male even though I’m trying to go for androgynous. I’ve heard that if you wear “boy clothes”, you’ll be read as a boy, but if you add feminine accessories and go for a fashionable look, you’re more likely to be read as neither (or either).

    I’ve also heard that some people find it comfortable to wear traditionally male clothing without trying to hide the feminine attributes their bodies have. I’m not sure if She’s a Gent ( http://www.shesagent.com/ ) is an actual example of this, but I find the site and pictures to be very inspiring.

    I hope you find a style or such that makes you comfortable!

    [Reply]


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