Someone wrote…

Today I found the word demigender, and for the first time in years I feel visible.

I never felt comfortable being called a girl. A lot of typical girly things make me uncomfortable, and cutting off my hair was the most liberating experience in my life. But I have never been able to reject the girl label either, because there are parts of me that are undeniably girl.

So demigender. There it is. Its perfect.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

Gender……
Scary. Complicated. Stupid. Important. Painful.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

Gender is always shifting, even if it isn’t noticed throughout history by everyone. Trends, attraction, personality.
What was considered feminine ten years ago is a sign of masculinity now. Who we can love, and who we can be; that has become something we are allowed to strive for now.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

Should I?

Who should I tell? Should I tell anyone?

If I tell them, I’ll be able to live the way I want. I won’t have to hide anymore. I could just be who I am and open up this bonds I’m trapped in. I will be free to express myself, to be me. But telling them would just mean I would have more room to move, there is no guarantee everyone will understand. Some people will hate me for who I am. I will either be seen as something people should cherish, or should throw away. Not someone, something. The cage will just get bigger, it would not go away.

If I don’t tell them, I could just carry out my life in a cage. I’ll be able to live a life, but the cage would always be there. It would follow me around, becoming chains. Becoming tighter with each passing second until the pain becomes unbearable. I will be seen as normal, but I would be the one hurting myself. I would resent myself for not escaping when I had the key.

Tell me, which is better? Living in cage, or living in pain.

Tell me, should I?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I am male assigned at birth and identify as genderqueer. I got some estrogen from a friend. I wonder if I just opened something I can’t undo. I wonder if I can transition to a more non-binary body. I wonder.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

My coworker of 6 months still misgenders me in conversation, he says because none of the other trans* people he knows care about pronouns. Just me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I don’t have a fight with my body, this frame of flesh I inhabit, its geography holds some hills and some valleys; maybe as a map it confuses people, but I’m not a representation of me, I’m me and it seems like all the words, for what I could be, just try to trim an effusive loving & expansive being into a pre-judge-able unit to be sorted like hardware.

Why does it feel like these labels are just a thousand ways of saying “not like me”?

I want the opposite effect when I introduce myself….

“we’re beautifully similar.”

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I’m bigender, and recently I’ve figured out an excellent way to describe what one of my genders is and what kind of style is associated with it. Since it’s a gender that is not at all male or female, it feels great to be able to concretely define it. It has given me amazing confidence that this gender is in fact just as real as either binary gender.

However, this makes me want to define my other gender in a similar way. A gender which I’ve supposed is male for over a year now. Male is such a widely recognized gender that it doesn’t need to be defined as specifically, but… it would help give me more confidence that I have this gender, too. I wasn’t assigned male at birth, so I don’t have the privilege of being able to claim it without justification. And sometimes I fear that “I feel happier as male” or “looking in the mirror and seeing a non-binary man feels right” isn’t justification enough.

What makes a man a man? How do I know that what I’m simultaneously feeling is male and not some other gender?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

If I presented less binary, I think the people at work wouldn’t take my transition seriously.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

My brain’s responses to my gender non-conforming:

* Pfft, foundation and concealer are barely make-up anyway.

* Well… it’s not like anyone will see your underwear anyway. If you want to wear lacy thongs, that’s your business.

* Okay, fine, you can wear the bra underneath your shirt out in public. But I swear, if people see the straps, I will kill us in embarrassment!

* …Wow. I expected skirts to be comfy, but not this comfy. But you definitely can’t wear that out in public.

* You bought another skirt? But you already have two! Why would you need a third o–Oh. Ohhh. Wow. It feels like wearing a cloud around your waist.

* …Crap. You are really frikkin’ cute in that. Now you need to buy the perfect shirt to go with it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

It has taken me 30 years to awaken to the notion that my vagina doesn’t make me any less of a man — and that being a man doesn’t make me any less of a feminist.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

Is it okay to get angry after dealing with people not going with your prefered** gender for a long time?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

Why does gender even MATTER?!

I mean, it does. Obviously. We like to have labels, they make us feel affirmed, and like part of a group.

For the past five months, I’ve been riding the Struggle Bus trying to figure out if I’m trans/genderfluid/asexual/an idiot (well, I’m definitely the last one :) ) but to no avail. I want the body of the opposite sex, and that role, and all that, but I still have my doubts and wonder every day if it’s a phase and worth telling le parents.

But why all the bother? Aren’t I myself, an awesome, funny, sarcastic, annoying, athletic, smart, stupid, boring, fun, contradictory person before I’m a boy, girl, or anything in between? Why does gender matter? Why is it that when you go on Omegle the first thing they ask you is your sex? (It’s cos they’re perverts, but do you feel me?)
Isn’t whether you’re a person more important than what’s between your legs? Why do I even give a flying f**ck?!

But I do.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

The most amazing moment is when someone asks you how you identify, and after 5 gruelling, awful years of searching for a word, you are at a loss for words because you have moved on from needing a word.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I remember the first time I went to get pants from the men’s section. I was at TJ Maxx and had talked to my mom about getting guy pants “For the sake of REAL pockets” “Because Comfort” and “I’m tall, so finding pants that are actually measured instead of assigned a random number will be easier.” All things I was currently telling myself. Not just my folks.

It was odd because I had never gone to the men’s section before. I had no idea what ANY of the numbers meant. And I had no idea where to look and I was really self conscious entering the Men’s section in front of a father and his son when I was so obviously female. But as I was sifting the racks, finally fonding my way around, I was getting strange looks from a totally different guy.

And I could feel myself thing, deep down, a thought I (at the time) refused to acknowledge say “Yeah. I am a girl in the Men’s section at TJ Max. Whachya gunna do ’bout it? What if I’m not cis? Huh??”

And it was just this overwhelming sense of… victory. And I had no idea why… well. I refused to accept why. Now here I am, owning three pairs of guy pants.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I go to a school so small that everyone can come to prom. Otherwise there would only be about 12 kids there. So with talk of prom starting to surface, i have realized a PROMblem. (Haha. Puns) What to wear? There is no way I will be able to predict if i’ll feel masculine or feminine or neither or both in advance. Gender fluidity doesn’t exactly fit a schedule. O.o

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

My gender timeline in years:
11: tomboy
12: girl
13: IM A MAN
14: agender………?
15: fluid, flustered, fabricated, fabulous, flouncy, feminine-but-never-ever-femine!!!!
16: agender. please don’t mess up my pronouns…
17: agender. but don’t worry if you mess up it’s okay. BUT DONT CALL ME A GIRL
18: I don’t care. BUT DONT CALL ME A GIRL
19: wait that sign said mens? oops I forgot I have a sex… lol thats awkward

My gender timeline in terms of dysphoria:
11: eeew sex O.o
12: hmm thats kind of cool actually :?
13: what the fu/ck is going on :(
14: wow boobs are gross :/
15: GET THESE BOOBS OFF ME >:/
16: get me out of this whole body!!!!! D’:
17: GET ME OUT OF THIS WHOLE BODY!!!! D’:
18: i don’t care. it sucks, but too bad. but it SUCKS SO MUCH it’s killing me. oh well. :(
19: whoa this new chest is great amazing for a tattoo.

You all are cool people – remember you don’t have to know what will happen tomorrow <3

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I’m 21, female wanting to be a male.

I fall asleep and wake up thinking the same thing everyday, that I hate myself for who I am, for the body I didn’t choose.

I’m afraid to tell anyone, no one knows. My beautiful girlfriend, worries about me. And so does my family. But I still can’t bring myself to tell them

I see a man and I envy them. All I have ever wanted is to be one, I was given the wrong body.

I feel so alone in this world, I need to tell them. But I don’t know how, my life needs to change.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

I consider myself to be a rather androgynous person, most of the time, even though I’m “male” “down there”…with some periods of feeling very feminine sprinkled in between. It was very confusing for me all my life (I’m now 64y.o.) growing up never feeling like I really fit into either end of the gender spectrum.

My given name is Christopher, which I love, but when I’m feeling very feminine it doesn’t really “fit” that feeling….I’m out to most of my family and friends as being bi sexual, but only out to a couple of people as being gender fluid. I think it doesn’t matter what age you are discovering yourself, it’s difficult telling people about your innermost feelings.

I’d just like to say to everyone out there that seems to be struggling in some way with their gender identity that, I think you’re ALL the most courageous people!!!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

Each morning (when I catch the right time) I can watch the sky above me Change from black to blue to pink and orange….and to a lighter shade of blue again.

Nobody dare to tell me that it is not natural to transition and that I am ugly when the whole planet is doing it in such grace and beauty every day!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?