Give me hope


Someone wrote…

I honestly don’t know what I’m thinking about gender right now. Recently, I had almost a mental breakdown with one friend about my sexuality and a heart-to-heart with another friend about me trying to figure out my gender identity. While I had a panic about me being potentially genderfluid but I’m beginning to think that I’m just an androgynous woman who doesn’t care if people see her as a woman, man or little weird thing.

But I’m seventeen and it’s so scary to be myself. I’m beginning to tear up as I write this but I fear that not fitting into the gender binary will just isolate me more from society. I had a long depression about the fact that I’m a (mostly) closeted, black, female-bodied bisexual that doesn’t fit conventional beauty standards and has struggled with self-esteem and body image, and I just don’t want to give people another reason to reject me.

I hurt a little on the inside each time people try to pressure me to wear a dress or straighten my hair, but I’m too scared to tell people a definite no because I don’t want to alienate them. It’s like I wanna scream and rage about my true self being suffocated but I can’t blame them because I’m too scared to even tell them who the real “me” is.

But all of you who are so brave, open, and beautiful about your identities give me hope and the world sunshine, and PLEASE remember that regardless of what others may say.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 9th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Flower Steps and Brown Boots


Reposted from Femme Tomboy Fashion.

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Posted by on January 8th, 2015 at 10:00 am

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Question: Has anyone ever felt like they can’t be Trans because they look *too much* like their biological gender?


Moor asks…

I need some advice.

I am biologically female. Ever since I’ve been a little kid, I’ve felt detached from my female gender, but never felt completely male. I always felt like my spirit was male or nongendered, but liked my female appearance in other ways. My favorite movie was Mulan because of the way she seemed to become a man… I wanted that. I felt like it was sort of naughty, but I loved it. But I also thought her makeup was pretty when she was appearing as a female.

My whole life, I felt that I was a man trapped in a woman’s body. All my friends saw me that way. I’ve always found myself comparing myself to men, not women. However, I never considered the fact that I might be trans because I just could never physically imagine a male version of myself… My face looks very ~feminine (I have full lips, high cheekbones, small, pointy nose, almond eyes) and I found satisfaction for whatever reason in my own “prettiness”. I’ve never presented as very feminine (although occasionally I like wearing dresses); I feel very empowered in men’s clothes, but have always liked my face to remain looking feminine. In ways I’ve enjoyed mens’ attention in ways that feel socially “feminine”. Yet at the same time, that feeling of sexuality also makes me feel shitty.

When I was 18, I heard a friend describing their identity as genderqueer and felt automatically like that was what I was. However, I’ve never felt like I could completely match my outside with my inside… when I try to put on more “male” clothing, I feel really great but I still see my face and just feel like I am a woman wearing men’s clothing, which doesn’t match how I feel. In my head, I imagine myself like, as a hooded person with no gender or physical identity.

Until recently. Recently, I’ve been looking at pictures of FtM people and have started thinking… what if I could be a man? Entirely, and fully? Would I be happy?

Part of me is starting to imagine how I would feel if I were a man, if I were on testosterone, and thinks that that might really be who I am inside. I see a physical version of my soul as a man and when I think about it I get really excited. The problem is that I don’t feel like I could be non-binary; I feel like I would have to completely transition with testosterone and that scares the complete living shit out of me. It’s just so hard to imagine what I would look like, what would happen if I were to try and transition and wondering if it would match up to how I felt inside or if I would just be sad losing that part of me that sometimes enjoys playing up my naturally feminine appearance and would regret giving that up? Yet this identity… this idea of me as a man is really strong and feels… right? I just don’t feel like both things match up and it’s been making me feel really depressed recently, and almost suicidal at times… but I don’t know if it’s just a phase.

Has anyone else ever had this experience?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on January 8th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Seventies


Reposted from Fuck Yeah Queer Black People.

“Men kissing under tree, 1977-78, by Kay Tobin Lahusen”

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Posted by on January 7th, 2015 at 10:00 am

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Gender hack


Someone wrote…

I aim for androgynous, but I’m often read as male. This wouldn’t bother me, if it weren’t for those moments where something (like my legal name) tells people that I’m supposedly female. They look so put-off it’s depressing.

And then again, I kind of like being a gender hack. Pros and cons.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 7th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Tattoo


Reposted from Shereen Jenkins.

“My first tattoo.”

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Posted by on January 6th, 2015 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Monster


You can call me… Monster

I identify as… transmasculine, transotherwise, Gender Not Otherwise Specified, inter-gendered, agender, seventh gender

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I’m similarly uncomfortable with all pronouns besides “it,” but let people call me by whichever set they’re most comfortable with (since most people have a problem with calling a person “it”). I’ve found that I’d rather that I’m uncomfortable when people talk about me than have everyone around me be uncomfortable because of me.

I’m attracted to… people who aren’t afraid of themselves and aren’t afraid of the world and what the world has to throw at them.

When people talk about me, I want them to… see me as just another person, and not question when someone uses a mismatch pronoun or noun to describe me.

I want people to understand… gender dysphoria is an actual thing, and when someone tells you to use a pronoun or a noun, you should use it. It may be awkward and inconvenient for you at first, but to them, your use of correct words could mean the difference between a day of incredible pain and a day to relax a little.

About Monster
I’m Monster: I love minimalism, femme-androgyny, and the color rose. One of my goals in life is to have an extensive collection of beanies. I’m a student looking to find my way to San Francisco to study gender counseling and advocacy.

» Define yourself. «


Posted by on January 6th, 2015 at 08:00 am

profiles | Comment »

All the socks


Someone wrote…

I love that I can hop between the men’s and women’s sections without a thought when online shopping – only problem is that I wish they were all one section so I could look at all the socks or all the watches or all the rings all at once instead of toggling back and forth.
To me, it’s all the same product with little to no distinction between genders.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 5th, 2015 at 08:00 am

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Profile: Jaye


You can call me… Jaye

I identify as… Pansexual, Genderfluid

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I don’t really mind

I’m attracted to… Any gender

When people talk about me, I want them to… Know that it doesn’t matter what they say, I can’t change and I won’t.

I want people to understand… That I am me no matter what and you can’t change me. I like/love who I want. I dress how I want. I am me.

About Jaye

» Define yourself. «


Posted by on January 4th, 2015 at 08:00 am

profiles | Comment »

see feel hear learn


Someone wrote…

I am worried that my privilege makes me discount the experiences of those around me. I want to learn about ways of living that aren’t mine, to hear about the world seen through different eyes and felt through different skin.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 3rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

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Question: Genderqueer “wife” alternative


Jack asks…

Ok lovely gender resource! I’m looking for a new genderqueer title instead of “wife” which reflects my married status. Any suggestions?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on January 2nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 6 comments »

A Comfortable Skin


Someone wrote…

Since I was little, gender had been a kind of issue in my life. Despite being assigned female at birth, I never quite conformed with the expectations.

A moment when I was silenced, which I distinctly remember, was when I was 5 years old, and I came to my mom all upset and told her “mom… I feel like a guy.” Not knowing anything about transgendered or nonbinary people up until this year, my mother affirmed I was a girl and ‘always will be.’

Since then though, I had doubted who I was even more. I constantly found myself trying to confirm to people who viewed me as cisgendered that I was, only because inside I felt I wasn’t.

Up until this year, I had struggled with who I was. Not only did I find out my sexual and romantic orientations, but my gender identity as well. Sort of.

I can only say that I’m not male nor female, but I’m also not agendered, or genderfluid, and that honestly… I’m just me. What I’ve come to identify as more accurately is genderqueer/nonbinary and I changed my pronouns to they/them. And you know what? I’m comfortable with that. I’d always been comfortable in my own skin, but now it’s more than ever.

I’m in the process of coming out, (and also getting my hair cut to a length I like better) and I know it’s a long way to go, but I’ve never felt more relieved to know that I was normal, in a way, and not at all tied down to the gender norms or binary that society tried to force-feed me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 1st, 2015 at 08:00 am

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Atomic Cafe


Reposted from Alive Till the End.

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Posted by on December 31st, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Profile: Erin


You can call me… Erin

I identify as… Gender-Queer

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They / Them / Their

I’m attracted to… I’m attracted more to personality and if we have a connection. You do get a bonus point, though, if you have tattoos and piercings. ;)

When people talk about me, I want them to…

I want people to understand… Not everyone fits into gender norms and you should respect that.

About Erin
Hi! My name is Erin. I’m 26, Gender-Queer and I live in Ontario, Canada. I have 8 tattoos (working on a sleeve), 5 piercings, my two cats Exodus and Toulouse are my world, I’m a tea addicted, I love candles and in scents, and I’m a Jurassic Park enthusiast.

Tumblr: http://junip3rr.tumblr.com/

» Define yourself. «


Posted by on December 31st, 2014 at 08:00 am

profiles | 1 comment »

Shoulder Bunny


Reposted from We Love Non-Binary Selfies!

“Can’t… not… reblog.. .bunnies”

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Posted by on December 29th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

Today was different from the others.


Someone wrote…

Today was different from the others. I was born male, and just recently discovered who I am, and who I can be. I’ve been painting my nails for awhile, but today they were this fantastic shade of purple, and someone asked me, out of the blue, “Are you fucking gay?” There was so much hatred in their voice, so much ignorance. How often these two things go hand in hand.

Today was different from the others. Someone kept saying they wanted me to be their friend, and, because I have a fear of rejection, I was conscious of everywhere my fingertips were, I was trying to keep them hidden. I saw that person later, and they asked me about how often I changed the colors. One of my closest friends told me it was weird, that I couldn’t be what I am, I have to be male, or I have to female. But darling, there is an in-between, and that’s what I am. Some random person was completely accepting of my self expression, and someone I trusted wasn’t. Don’t give up on the world yet, we have the chance to make a difference, one beautiful stranger at a time.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 29th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Wall Sitting


Reposted from Kipper Clothiers.

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Posted by on December 28th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Blair


You can call me… Blair

I identify as… demigender nonbinary hard femme boi knight in shining armour.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … ey/em/eir

I’m attracted to… All y’all

When people talk about me, I want them to… to see my compassion

I want people to understand… that I am my own person before I am anyone else’s.

About Blair
metalhead, autistic/neurodiverse, medievalist, author in training, community leader and activist.

» Define yourself. «


Posted by on December 28th, 2014 at 08:00 am

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Greens


Reposted from Femme Void.

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Posted by on December 27th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

So much expression


Someone wrote…

So much expression and creativity, yep, that’s the queer freedom to wear whatever I like, and choose too who I want to be with :)

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 27th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

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