Why we need gender-neutral bathrooms

A talk by Ivan Coyote.

Posted by on August 26th, 2016 at 08:00 am

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Profile: Spencer

You can call me… Spencer

I identify as… A genderfluid, panromantic asexual with a whole load of mental health

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I like they/them

I’m attracted to… Any one with a good heart and caring nature

When people talk about me, I want them to… Talk about me as a person, not me as an appearance/sex/gender

I want people to understand… That mistakes are made and we all have a chance to remedy them. Second chances and acceptance are key to being able to live and love.

About Spencer
Okay so I’m like really boring, and really shy, but yeah I have friends, i have family, I have hobbies. Your averge Spencer really

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on August 25th, 2016 at 08:00 am

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Call for Volunteers

Guess what, you all?! This September, Genderfork will be 9 years old!

First of all, thank you all for being such amazing readers and contributors for so long. You all rock. You deserve a pat on the back. And a hug. And maybe a puppy.
We’ve also been lucky to have had such talented, dedicated volutneers for close to a decade. A lot can happen in nine years and many have had to move on with life’s changes. We’re struggling right now to populate the site with full and varied content. If we’re to keep moving the site alive in its current form, we need new blood, and fast! If you love the site, and you have time to give us, please, get in touch! Have you always loved Genderfork and wanted to help? Now’s a really good time to tell us about it.

Yes, you! Genderfork volunteers contribute a few hours a month (or a week, if you’ve got it to spare), and work to help us maintain a diverse and affirming feed of community content.

Here’s what you need to have:

  • A love of gender all across the spectrum, and a love of our site!
  • Access to a computer and the Internet, and basic knowledge of how to use these things.
  • Time to give! Really, honestly – it doesn’t have to be a LOT of time, an hour or so a week will do it, but you need to be able to give it regularly, every week. We LOVE that you want to help, but if your life is in transition, or just really busy, take care of yourself. Don’t offer what you can’t give.

Here’s what you DO NOT need to have:

  • Any particular identity. You don’t need to be genderqueer or trans or anything other than what you are to help out here. You just need to want to help.
  • A lot of technical knowledge. We welcome it, but we can absolutely train you to do any job that needs doing around here – they’re not hard, and we’re excellent at writing instructions and answering questions.
  • A LOT of time to give. It doesn’t take hours and hours to be of use around here – it’s the consistency we’re after when it comes to time, not the volume. And we DO understand that things come up and some weeks you just can’t fit everything in – if you can drop us a line warning us and come back next soon, we can always work it out.

If you’ve got the time and the desire, please do contact us using this volunteer interest form, which will help us get to know you.

  • What sort of stuff you wanna help out with!
  • Why you wanna help!
  • Any extra experience you think might be handy (tech abilities, forum moderation, blogging skills, etc)
  • Where you live on the Internet (blogs, tumblrs, your band’s old myspace, whatever …)
  • How much time you can to give to us (on an ongoing weekly or monthly basis)
  • ANYTHING ELSE you want to share about yourself (we don’t know what that is yet, but we can’t wait to find out!)

We can’t wait to hear from you and we’re looking forward to meeting you!

Your Friendly Neighborhood Genderfork Volunteer Team

i want to volunteer

Posted by on August 24th, 2016 at 08:00 am

general info | 1 comment »

Queer as Cat

“my name’s Vesper, i’m a 30 year old non-binary pan / biromantic asexual living in Japan. this channel is where i vlog about things like race, gender, sexuality, intersectionality, stuff going on in Japan, body mods– whatever the hell i feel like talking about. enjoy your stay. :)”

Posted by on August 20th, 2016 at 08:00 am

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Need to Pee

Bathroom stories from That Rainbow Potato.

Posted by on August 17th, 2016 at 08:00 am

video | 1 comment »

A Journey to Self Love

Posted by on August 4th, 2016 at 08:00 am

video | 1 comment »

Profile: Hayven

You can call me… Hayven

I identify as… Neutrois / agender / gender nope. I’m a gender-neutral person who doesn’t like to be put into boxes.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Any gender-neutral pronoun is fine. I normally use they/them/theirs, but ey/em/eir or xe/xem/xyr are fine, too.

I’m attracted to… No one. I’m aromantic and asexual.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Focus on what I have to say, not my gender. Despite the “weirdness” of being non-binary, I’m still a human being and should be treated like any other.

I want people to understand… That nonbinary people are just like anyone else — we’re *normal.* Not everyone fits the flippin’ binary!

About Hayven
I’m a 29-year-old enby from Park City, Utah, and I’m currently finishing up a Ph.D. in sociology. I’m currently an adjunct instructor at a university, and I hope to land a tenure-track job soon. When I’m not focusing on academic pursuits, I’m working on anti-racism and LGBT+ activism. My hobbies include hiking, skiing, biking, and reading (mostly non-fiction and sci-fi).

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on August 1st, 2016 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Mark

You can call me… Mark

I identify as… Male dyke, a lesbian stuck in a male’s body, something along those lines

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Masculine ones fit me just fine, but if I had my way we’d get rid of all gendered pronouns and just use the plural ones (e.g. they/them) instead, it’s just more efficient and practical

I’m attracted to… Non-heteronormative people, gender fluid people, agender people, femme males, butch females (especially), trans people

When people talk about me, I want them to… know I’m not judging them.

I want people to understand… that I’m a male who is happy with my body the way it is, but if I had any say over how I was put together and what kind of life I’d have I would have chosen to be a lesbian woman who would settle down with the butch woman of my dreams and have lots of cats together. I don’t know what these feeling make me, I’m not sure what label should be applied to me, but ultimately I don’t think labels mean all that much.

About Mark
I’m a scientist and educator, I enjoy conversing with intellectually curious people, that’s what makes my life worth living.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 31st, 2016 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Adria

You can call me… Adria

I identify as… a soul who has a human body…

or an alien who’s been planet napped and happens to be trapped inside of a human body.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … one, one’s, zee, thier? I haven’t really read much on gender neutral language so I’m not quite sure what seems to be the best third-person pronoun to use honestly. However, I thought it would be dandy to use emale as a third gender for those who aren’t female or male. Then I thought E would be a good third person pronoun for she/he since both she and he has the letter E in it. I also made up the term ” godzees” or “godzillas” for gender neutral gods.

I’m attracted to… the human soul rather than the human body, so it’s more so mental/emotional/ spiritual attraction. I tend to feel more drawn to people who are humble, genuine, eccentric, empathetic, creative, passionate, respectful, curious, deep, and/or people with a sense of humor who are naturally funny/goofy (unlike most comedians who offend me with gender stereotype jokes and staged “humor”).

When people talk about me, I want them to… hopefully not say mean or bad things! But more importantly, I don’t want people to say remarks that judge, stereotype, or make assumptions about me. It’s better for people who don’t know me to stick to the facts about me such as what I did or say rather than label me. However, if people wish to vocalize opinions about me, I would appreciate them explain why or the reasons for their opinions about me. (For example, rather than just saying “Adria is weird”, I would prefer people saying “I think Adria is weird, because she barks at people while jumping on a pogo stick.”) It’s ok for people to talk about people, but what I really admire and like are the people who talk about ideas/concepts…so it would really be snazzy if people talked about my ideas rather than about me.

I want people to understand… that all types of discrimination are equally wrong and need to be addressed equally by humans in terms of ending the problem of discrimination once and for all, especially if this is done for the sake of humanity or the unity of all humanity . To address or fight to end only some or specific forms of discrimination is to discriminate in itself. If one is truly against discrimination, one wouldn’t discriminate against which types of discrimination are worth fighting for by placing inferior values of importance for the forms of discrimination not being fought for…

There’s so many more concepts that I wish people could understand, so I’ll briefly summarize some of the ideas/concepts that I wish people could understand. I wish people could understand what this world be if was based on cooperation rather than competition. I wish people could understand that it’s not a matter of who’s the best or who is better but instead a matter of personal preference or taste. I wish people could understand the value of the human soul rather than obsess about the skins of a soul’s body in regards to looks/stereotypes/discrimination. I wish people could understand what it’s like to feel unconditional love rather than the illusion of love (aka lust which involves showing off, impressing someone, pick up lines, flirting, jealousy games, etc). unconditional love goes deeper than the physical world and lasts forever; lust only goes skin deep or is based on physical aspects that don’t last forever. I wish people could understand that it’s more important to have a purpose rather than goals. I wish people could understand the joy of doing something that makes them feel good rather than how good they are at doing something. I wish people could understand how much damage ego/power. I wish people could understand what it’s like to be truly who they really and true to what’s in their hearts instead of living in denial and lying to yourself and others by pretending to be someone else…and too many more life lessons to list.

About Adria
there are too many aspects to completely describe or show who I am, so I’ll just touch on some aspects about myself in regards to gender identity… I tell people that I boycott purses and high heels…I carry a duct tape wallet that I made myself with tennis shoes. I’ve worn a dress with men’s swim suit trunks. I’ve worn a nut cup before to see what that feels like. I tend to be tomboy in nature. some traditional female hobbies, I hardly do or am not known for doing those things such as cooking, sewing, shopping, etc. My mind is more so mentally like a male ( but like a female as well) in the “traditional” sense of gender roles and identities….for instance, I’m better at math than I am at language. However, I don’t wish to be identified with my 23rd chromosomes. I wish to be identified as a soul, a spirit, or an individual with a human body…not a male or a female with a soul. This tends to be the way of society in many aspects beyond gender. They notice the physical body and hardly ever really see the soul inside of it. I sometimes say that humans are like “Christmas” or “birthday” presents. Many people look at the wrapping or judge a present by how beautifully it is wrapped (wrapping = the physical body) rather than opening up the present to see the real beauty of the gift inside (the human soul) for what it really is. I wish more people would realize this concept and not value a person’s worth on the skins of their physical body rather than the actual soul, their essence or who they really are as individuals. Just like artwork, I look at strangers as a blank canvas. I know nothing about them, so why paint myself a picture of a stranger that I’ve never met with the usual stereotypes based on their skins. In order to avoid discriminating/ stereotyping/ assuming who they are, I try to wait to get to know the person before I paint a picture…who knows if the picture is ever finished however. Perhaps, it’s never finished like the Mona Lisa, because souls infinitely never stop growing and changing over time…

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 30th, 2016 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Tyra

You can call me… Tyra

I identify as… MtF trans. Otherwise known as a woman

As far as third-person pronouns go, … She/her

I’m attracted to… Women

When people talk about me, I want them to… Respect me and not speculate about surgeries I may have had

I want people to understand… My ability to parent is not limited by being trans. It is incredibly rude and offensive to inquire about what body parts I have.

About Tyra
I’m a confident proud trans lesbian and a mom of 2 wonderful children who are 7 and 4. I am a substance abuse survivor and I battle bipolar disorder and OCD on a daily basis.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 29th, 2016 at 10:00 am

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Question: Is my gender fluid or flux??

Ryan asks…

A while ago I started identifying as agender or greygender. I definitely feel that a part of me is neutral and has an absense of gender. Some days or for a series of days, I feel more feminine and more connected to being a girl, but not completely. Then other days that feeling is absent. I recently found the terms “demifluid” and “demiflux” and I’m trying to understand those terms further. Any help would be very appreciated!

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on July 29th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Profile: Avery

You can call me… Avery

I identify as… A somewhat but not completely female gendered person. I feel female but at the same time I feel like I have no gender. Label: non-binary

As far as third-person pronouns go, … She/her or they/them

I’m attracted to… Women! I’m a lesbian. But I’m starting to think I’m romantically and not sexually attracted to non binary people especially those who are more femme or neutral. Label(s): Homosexual Polyromantic or Lesbian Polyromantic

When people talk about me, I want them to… Go beyond my gender and sexuality! Like seriously there is nothing more interesting about me than some social constructs! Come on!

I want people to understand… Gender and sexuality are not set in stone. Normal is just a social construct. I’m the same funny, nerdy, musically inclined person you already know.

About Avery
I’m 20 years old. I graduated community college with a degree in New Media and I have a full time job. I sing at open mic nights and enjoy spending time with my cats and my friends, but mostly my cats.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 28th, 2016 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Aster/Attie

You can call me… Aster/Attie

I identify as… Agenderfluid, agender but with a fluid nb part that never repeats itself (aka geminigender but that’s a really long word…)

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They/them but also ey/em (with our regional accent they sound the same!)

I’m attracted to… Every gender sensually, feminine or nb identifying sexually

When people talk about me, I want them to… Be respectful because I’m human too.

I want people to understand… Good grades do not equal self esteem. Though I may be perfect on paper, I’m really not.

About Aster/Attie
I’m a student who does theater semi-professionally who sings and dances and designs/pulls costumes. I have Hamilton and Les Mis obsessions and want to mod on tumblr to help out my community but due to a transphobic family I can’t.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 27th, 2016 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Edyta

You can call me… Edyta

I identify as… I don’t even know, but something that has to do with female

As far as third-person pronouns go, … She/her or they/them. She/her is preferred over they/them, but NEVER he/him.

I’m attracted to… I’m definitely demipanromantic, but I’m also andro-asexual.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Fuggetaboutit

I want people to understand… I’m here, and I’m valid

About Edyta

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 27th, 2016 at 08:00 am

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Profile: Al

You can call me… Al

I identify as… a panromantic, asexual, agender Rocky Horror Picture Show super fan, photography nerd, and activist.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I’ve been referred to with female pronouns my entire life so I don’t mind them, but I prefer they/their.

I’m attracted to… anyone regardless of their orientation or identity. In a strict romantic sense. No sexual attraction. Once again, asexual.

When people talk about me, I want them to… realize that I am more than my appearance and that there are big issues in this world that we can all conquer if we fight together and never give up.

I want people to understand… that asexuality is real and visible.

About Al
Tumblr aesthetic is 10/10 (cosmic-cvnt.tumblr.com) Super passionate about photography (asicurophotography.weebly.com)

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 26th, 2016 at 10:00 am

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Question: Should genderqueer people apply for free binder programs?

Ellie/Eli asks…

I’m never sure as a poverty stricken genderqueer person if I’m eligible for some of the free binder programs I’ve seen. I want a binder – I have serious dysphoria on my male days – but they tend to say they’re for transmen only. I don’t want to take anything from my transmen bros – at least I feel comfortable in my skin sometimes – but I also feel really hurt by my physical state every time I’m a male with crazy huge breasts. What are your thoughts?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on July 25th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Profile: Emory

You can call me… Emory

I identify as… Androgynous, genderqueer, ftm, boyish feminine boy, polyamorous, nerdy, hipster hippy, cat

As far as third-person pronouns go, … he him his and they them their

I’m attracted to… girls, boys, in the middle, and outside. NOT PANSEXUAL! Romantically attracted to: girls, non-binary,and trans guys

When people talk about me, I want them to… I want them to respect my point of view on how I perceive my gender and use the pronouns I have chosen. And please realize opinions can affect me not always in a negative way.

I want people to understand… That I don’t fit the gender norms and I am scared and awkward about. I have found out the terms that feel right when referring to me but I still can be confused or nervous if other people judge me for it or I am in a situation were I have to defend my identity. I hope we can all be kind to others and understand more about people so we avoid any unwarranted conflicts.

About Emory
I am quiet, shy, anxious, silly, funny, kind, quirky, and caring. Yeah…… I don’t know what else to say about myself. I’m so weird.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 23rd, 2016 at 08:00 am

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Question: Passing as Genderless

A.Nonny.Mouse asks…

Hello. So, I’m Agender (Genderless) as I would like to be perceived that way. I don’t know how to ‘pass’ for genderless, as I’m afraid I will be seen as masculine. (I was born female.) I thought binding might help, but I’m unsure. Any tips/suggestions would be amazing! Thank you!

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Posted by on July 21st, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Blue Eyed

Someone wrote…

Finally figured what I should have said when a person asked if I was a man or a woman and wouldn’t take ”no” for an answer, asking what I was born as.

”I was born blue-eyed.”

See, it might have worked, cos they were close enough to kind of see that my eyes are green or grey now.

Thanks, brain, but next time I’d like the delivery time to be somewhere under two weeks, if it’s all the same with you.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on July 20th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Profile: Dee

You can call me… Dee

I identify as… a non binary person

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They/them or just Dee.

I’m attracted to… All genders and gender identities with a preference towards more feminine people. Beyond identity, I’m attracted to strong individuals who stand up for their beliefs, have a strong sense of self, and enjoy intellectual conversations.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Use my name and pronouns and just be nice.

I want people to understand… Having multiple marginalized identities can be hard (non-binary, pansexual, POC, mentally ill) and incredibly stressful.

About Dee
I’m a proud POC who is the VP of my college’s Black Student Union, as well as a member of the LGBT+ club and Active Minds. I’m a Public Policy and Sociology dual major whose goal is to advocate for people with marginalized identities.

» Define yourself. «

Posted by on July 19th, 2016 at 08:00 am

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