Any ideas on how to cope with having to use a heavily gendered language to get through everyday life? My first language is gendered to the point where not even a simple sentence such as “I was” can be formed without choosing a “male” or “female” form, and constantly having to use forms consistent with the only gender I am perceived as really messes with my head, since whenever I speak I feel like my speech further enforces the gender binary and traps me within it a little bit more.
I wish I lived in an English-speaking country simply because the language leaves much more room for improvisation and innovation.
Throughout my life I’ve felt agender. Androgynous. But over the past 5 years, I’ve begun to consider myself masculine of center/trans*.
I dress in male clothing, I like to be perceived as male, and I go by male pronouns. Lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m still in the middle of the gender spectrum. I’ve been envying male bodies and wish I could have certain characteristics for myself. The thing about transitioning is that it’s simultaneously terrifying and fascinating to me at the same time. The changes are permanent. I only want some of the changes that testosterone brings, but I cannot pick and choose the traits I develop if I do start T.
Can anyone who has been living in the middle of the gender spectrum relate? I want masculine traits when I want them, but not all the time. The days when I feel more masculine are when I feel dysmorphia. Most other days I’m fine. Any advice or stories?
I felt like I was opening up a body as I read these poems. Picking apart bones and untwisting veins. These poems are written in ways that re-imagine what a page is, what a body is, what gender is/means. I feel enlightened and full of so many questions. I’ve begun to reread to search for the hidden meanings behind each word. Wow.
When I was a kid, I looked pretty gender-neutral. I wanted to climb trees and hang out with boys, but I was just “an ugly girl,” so I hung out with my two other “ugly girl” friends. I wanted to be pretty, so I could hang out with the other 19 kids in my class, too, but no.
Nowadays, I look very much like a girl. I have strong hip game, I’m short, I have pretty red hair, and I sing mezzo-soprano. I still don’t hang out with the “normal” people, since those I know are stupid, assholes, or both. I still have my friends. But now I want to cut all my long hair off. I want to be tall. I want to sing baritone. I want to be genderfluid and pass as male without the anxiety of bathrooms and binders.
Nowadays, it’s so painfully obvious I’m a girl. I can’t go to the right bathroom without getting yelled at and chased out. I get weird looks in the locker room, since I sewed my binder myself. I got catcalled the other day! I was wearing my baggiest Tshirt and jeans!
I don’t want to look so strongly female. I want to be neutral again..
I want to live in a world where it is socially acceptable to ask someone “What is your gender/pronouns/preferences”. Personally, I love it when someone questions my gender, pronouns, sexuality, etc. It feels so much better hearing “What are you” than it is hearing “Oh wow I thought you were *blank*”. So many people just assume what others are… It’s sad. I want that to change.
I’ve just gotten into the LGBTQ community as an asexual, and recently I’ve been reading up on gender identities even more so. I think I’m cis, but at this point, I just don’t know.
More often than not I have this really strong urge to present as a genderless person. I want to look androgynous. At the same time, I also have days where I really wanna look like a dude, and then other days still where I really wanna look like a girl. But I don’t experience “dysphoria” and being referred to with female pronouns (the pronouns I was assigned at birth) doesn’t make me feel bad, and all the terminology of nonbinary genders are just making me confused as to whether I’m actually trans or if it’s just a fashion thing that I want to look like different things.
I just want a definitive answer that I’m definitely trans or I’m definitely cis, and it’s pretty clear that I’m probably not going to get that for at least a long while.
I’m 15 (nearly 16, less than 2 months to go), and about 3 months ago I was hit with the sudden realization that I’d be happier if I stopped trying so hard to fit societal ‘girl’ norms. I got my hair cut within a week, and was pleased that there were so many accepting people in my personal life and at home.
So much depression and anxiety lifted like you wouldn’t believe! I never considered that a deep-seated dissatisfaction with my gender could have been the root of the misery I had suffered for years. Over the past few months I’ve started wearing more neutral clothes and such, because it made me feel better.
Okay, so I’m a 14 year old girl. I’ve always been a tomboy. When I was younger I always wanted to be a boy. Eventually I grew out of it to a point. I’ve never told anyone I would be happier as a guy.
Lately I’ve been thinking that I actually would be happier as a guy. I’ve always dressed like a guy, acted like a guy, talked like a guy, and hung out with guys over girls. Sometimes I get confused for a guy, but it doesn’t bother me. Really it kinda makes me happy people would see me as a guy over a girl. Honestly I’m tempted to be a guy instead of a girl, but I’m afraid to. I’m afraid everyone around me will push on me that it’s a phase.
My family and friends know I’m a lesbian and they’re fine with it, but I’m not sure how they would react to me saying I’m transgender all of a sudden.