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I just discovered this website while searching around the web for gender neutral pronouns, and started reading the different profiles. I was amazed when I read your profile, because it is almost exactly how I would describe myself, including the name Jay (I go by Jill but I have taken to Jay in my mind as a great gender-neutral alternative). I too am agender and currently express in what is seen as a feminine way, though I prefer androgynous expression for myself. I just thought this was incredible. If you read this, I hope you enjoy knowing that there are others with similar identities in the world.
- Anonymous on Profile: Jay
This girl online has taken to calling me little one, and little bean fren P
- Anonymous on Pet names
Honestly, when I'm trying to get a member of wait-staff's attention, I just say, "excuse me," or "hi, pardon me, but..." I simply don't use gendered words at all.
- Evan Alexander James on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Uhhh, my biggest concern that brought me here is gaining someone's attention. Like, if you work in a setting where you don't know people's names (e.g., coffee shop, salesperson, customer service), and need to gain his/her/their attention. Do you say, "you" with a gesture, "you there"? This is a legit question.
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Not to question your identity or anything, but I'm curious as to why you identify as cisgender. You don't really sound cisgender, you sound a little more genderqueer.
- Anonymous on Profile: Khonsu
Using bandage is very unhealthy and unsafe NEVER USE BANDAGES FOR BINDING
- Anonymous on Question: Binder help!
Radiant, phenomenal, delightful, extraordinary, genuine, heavenly, incomparable, mesmerizing, precious, ravishing, tantalizing, vibrant, zestful.
- Kyler on Question: Genderqueer Compliments?
Thank you I already started this with one friend but now I can help more people understand thx you so much
- Anonymous on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
love this look !!
- Val on Classic Autumnal Style
honestly don't see the point in stressing over gender. everyone should just let people have their own one and not treat people differently because of it. it should be irrelevant to everything. people also shouldn't get offended if someone mistakes their gender, just politely correct them. And someone tells you their pronoun, don't be an asshole about it. Suck it up and use it, at least in front of them, its just plain good manners. Like calling someone by their name, you wouldn't call someone called Rory something else just because they don't "look like a Rory".
- Ana on Gender is Overrated!
yes, men can certainly be femme :)
- Jonathan on Profile: harri
I never developed my musculature and I am Gender Fluid ("M to F") so I decided to emphasize my feminine side a few years back, without explicitly "crossing" the gender. I tend to dress in "masculine women's clothes." I feel women's clothes fit better my body type, I just buy them noting that I am flat chested, so I buy things that look good on flat chests, and I never stray too far into the fem side. I have bought a lot of clothes over the Internet, in US and Asian websites, as well as in person at US stores. So I can give you a few pointers: As Jules mentioned there are three categories for pant lengths, tall, regular or short. On top of that you may have "Curvy" and "Petite" which basically just means that hip measurements are larger relative to the length of the pants. Pants' lengths are usually limited to 3 sizes, because women-style trousers tend to be "skinny" or show more ankle anyway, so the exact length is not so critical as with a man's dress pair of pants. For 34 inches inseam, that is really tall by women's standards. In my experience, "Short" pant length corresponds to 29 inches inseam (I'm a size 12 "short"), according to some sellers going by US Standard sizes. Note that only a few big-box sellers actually hold fast to those US Clothing Standard numbers (typically Sears/Kmart, JC Penneys, so there is a lot of variation compared to say "Forever21," not to mention some Asian seller online. See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/US_standard_clothing_size I strongly suggest getting a tailor's tape measure, and if possible one that has a centimeter scale as well as inches. Why? Because with all the confusion over international size standards, a lot of online sellers especially in China and Europe and other places, have started posting charts with sizes in centimeters - and that is a really useful piece of info when buying online. Now. let's say you're not sure if you are really an American Size "8" - I suggest never assuming you're an 8, unless you actually have bought a size 8 pair of women's pants or shorts in that brand, and size 8 really did fit. Otherwise, (I'm assuming you are "M to F") consider your hips will be smaller than expected, and your "waist" larger than expected (read below). So from now on you have two different sizes to learn, one for tops and one for bottoms. So when looking in any charts provided, you have to discard any correlation to "Waist" because that "Waist" they're talking about is the Natural Waist (measured near the belly button), which would only be useful if you're buying women's high waited pants, women's skirts or a man's kilt. Basically for M to F people, their natural waist will always be larger than expected in the charts. Instead, when buying women's medium/low-waisted pants or shorts try to gauge the size of the pants by looking at your "Hip" measurements. That's the only useful number, really. The only exception to the rule is that every now and then, women's je[…]
- W on Question: Pant Sizes?
Hey there! It's perfectly valid to feel fluid. I know from my own experience there are periods of time where I question whether I should choose a more binary identity because it's a difficult place to be outside of the realms of male and female. Whatever gender you feel fits you is the perfect descriptor for that day. It's tough for others to understand sometimes as they adjust to the shifts in expression, but you know you best! Some days I don't feel like I have a gender at all until someone genders me and I'm reminded that it's a pervasive thing in society. It's taken a long time to be confident to just be me and feel comfortable with my ever-changing feels about my gender, but I finally feel secure in expressing myself. It's definitely a journey!
- Anonymous on Question: fluid? demigirl?
Foods that boost estrogen production in ur body
- Alexander on Question: Tips for masculinizing feminine faces?
I had the same issue. what i did is i looked up my own size by comparing online size charts of online stores. or google some size charts, see what inches or mm your size relates to, and then go from these inches or mm to the size in your preferred clothing size. and i also found some people to act really strange when you ask for help in a store, and others to be really kind and helpfull. that is partly what shop you go, and partly your own confidence. i found that on days that i was strugling, i would come across more insecure which would make shop staff insecure. good luck. clothing the way i want to can be a very empowering thing! enjoy!
- Anonymous on Question: Pant Sizes?
Instead of getting top surgery, you could get a breast reduction, which might help you be more comfortable on your male days. That way, on your female days, you wouldn't regret it?
- Arin on On My More Male Days
Am 57 and genderqueer. Some of us used to be called Kaikai in the older times. We were often shunned as we didn't fit into the binary genders of butch or femme. Things have greatly improved in the lesbian communities that I've been with. Taking T for gender dysphoria which is helping with my mood and attitude.
- cathexis on Question: Older but genderfluid
In my experience, women's pants don't have inseam measurements, but instead just have petite, regular, and tall (actually I'm not sure what that last category is usually called, because I'm not it). Also, those categories aren't necessarily just inseam length but sometime other proportions as well (e.g. petite tends to have a shorter rise crotch to waist). Anyway, you end up buying something that kinda fits or is maybe a bit long and then hemming. It's a pain!
- Jules on Question: Pant Sizes?
I've never understood any kind of clothing sizes that aren't strictly measurements, so I can't be much help here. Would it be possible for you to go to a store and try on some pants? That might help you gauge your size without having to talk to anyone, though I do realise that some stores scrutinise everyone who walks in and that can be horrible. Not having a lot of money, I usually buy my clothes used, and count myself lucky if I get the right waist size. If the legs are too long, I use trouser blousers to be able to walk around, but I realise that's not for everyone.
- anta on Question: Pant Sizes?
49 y/o here, but feeling like 25. One year into my nonbinary, queerfemme adventure. I'm of a masculine physique and have no intention to blur the lines with hormones or surgery of any kind. I like the way my body is and don't experience gender dysphoria or wished to have been born in a different way. Hard as it's been to come out at my age, I don't think it would have been possible before, either because of lack of resources and the different mentality prevalent in society. I love skirts, eye makeup (not foundation) and wear exciting clothing, stuff that I couldn't even relate to in the past, due to internalised transphobia and the self-acquired shame that all males are required to carry as their personal masculine 'ID'. I'm way past all that and enjoy the freedom that has brought to my experience to embrace my feelings. Aberystwyth (Wales) is a friendly and fabulous place to explore one's gender I have to say. We've got the university on one of our hills, and the population here is quite young, all of which brings an open, cosmopolitan air to an otherwise conservative, rural coastal town. I too love to receive compliments on my clothing or newest haircut, even when I know that there will always be those that don't understand what I'm doing. To date, I have to say I've been fortunate for not experiencing any verbal or physical transphobic attack.
- Eola-Ystwyth on Question: Older but genderfluid
I have almost half a century on my back of male acculturation. More recently I came out as a transgender, nonbinary person. Due to the nature of my job, I normally dress 'male', with trousers, polo and black shoes (I'm a cleaner) but when I'm off work I wear skirts, makeup, complements, ankle boots and what not. From the somewhat nebulous definition of trans* I've embraced the term of 'queerfemme' because it defines my feelings with more precision than the formal AMAB, nonbinary label. I don't hope to be successful in trying to explain to others what 'femme' means for me, as it is a very personal feeling. On the surface it may be just a love for fashion and pretty things, but deep inside I can recognise it as an energy that flows gently, telling me that everything's OK as it is. That love for myself and the gentle interaction with the world that stems from it, is what I call 'femininity'. Ultimately, I don't think gender can be defined with a word or a mix of cleverly made up words, no matter how well they may fit a particular type of experience or circumstance. Just being oneself, in loving silence, should be enough.
- Eola-Ystwyth on Question: Is my gender fluid or flux??
I just came out to my trans friend. He was really supportive and it felt really good to have someone support me. I tried coming out to my parents, but they told me I'm just making it up. I also tried to come out to my friends, but they told me I am going to hell. Yep that felt nice. I'm hoping to get the full confidence to come out to them soon enough, but for now. I am happy with what I've done thus far.
- Anonymous on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Dear Sophie: I'm 66 now. I have found my identity over the past 15 years as well. I tried going out as a woman but realized that I didn't want to hide my male side, ... as much as I didn't want to hide my female side, either. So I'm presenting as kind of both. I still use male pronouns, but that's mostly for convenience while we get the language straightened out. I often (more often than not) wear 'womens' clothes in public these days. This includes jewelry (earrings, bracelets, necklaces), and often nail polish (fingers and toes). I wear dresses, skirts & tops, or tunics with leggings and boots. I have kept my beard (short but not shaved off), which is mostly gray now. I have lost most of the hair on top of my head, but I usually wear a hat of some kind. I don't wear face makeup or a bra or breast prosthetics, because I am not trying to present as a woman. I shop at consignment shops and tall women clothing catalogs. Stitch Fix sent me a box and I kept 3 out of the 5 things. And ... I'm having a blast doing it! It helps that I live right next door to Cambridge, Mass., so this environment is way supportive. I get spontaneous compliments almost every time I go out ("I like your outfit." or "I like what you're wearing," or "Those are great earrings!" etc.). I go food shopping, to the bank, the post office, public meetings, etc. I even have a client who says it's ok if I show up for work in a dress. I have never gotten any flack. I'm writing a book about my experiences called "a man wearing a dress." You can see an image of the cover on my web site, www.messagerain.com Just click on the Books menu.
- Glenn on Question: Older but genderfluid
I think all those things describe me as well; I'm 62, AMAB, been dabbling with nonbinary identity issues for, oh, 15 years or so. Was married for a while to a very affirming bi woman, and oh my did that ever work. For a while. She's now identifying as lesbian, so i'm not in her demographic. I write, often from a female character's point of view. I find that helpful.
- R on Question: Older but genderfluid
I like the idea of using Mx. James (my name) while writing but I am non-binary queer. I still look fairly feminine (talking to my psych today about going on T). I get called "ma'am" at work by nearly every customer. I'm sure it doesn't help that I live in the south and everyone calls everyone "sir" or " ma'am." It's drilled into our plantains from the moment of birth. The best way I've found to get people to not call me " ma'am" was by placing a name tag on my work shortest just says, "Hello, my name is...Evan. Please use they/them pronouns when referring to me. Unfortunately, I'm still called "ma'am," and I know you can't change everyone's minds, but maybe I'll add "Mx. Or Friend" on the tag.
- Evan Alexander James on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Hey, I study German and French at school, and I identify as non-binary, but I go to an all girls school, and according to my teahers there isn't a gender neutral pronoun in either language. Anyone know what I could do, as alternating between er/sie and il/Elle is confusing for all of the people who have known me since I solely used she/her and I really dislike being misgendered. Please correct me if I'm posting in the wrong place. Thanks
- Anonymous on Question: German gender-neutral language
Genderqueer male-bodied parent here, I use DeDe :) but it is because my mom was meme and it resonates with me
- Anonymous on Question: Gender-neutral family names
What do u mean e foods?
- Anonymous on Question: Tips for masculinizing feminine faces?
Hi Anon: I know exactly what you are going through. I am a 59 year old male who has been been femme for my entire life. I find that it's easy to BE femme ( that's just what I am), the problem is being ACCEPTED as femme. It's hard to come out of the closet when people keep pushing you back into it. In the city where I live, there's a gender nonconformist group at a local LGBTQ organization that has been very helpful to me. Perhaps you can find one if SF. I would also be very happy to be chat friends with you. Please feel free to email me anytime. Take care, Brian PS: I'm still deciding on a femme name. I was thinking about Joni (as in Joni come lately). What to you think?
- Brian on What a task!
Hey :) moi je ne m\'appelle pas Max a la base mais je ne supporte plus mon nom qui est trop féminin.. J\'ai 15 ans (donc je crois que maintenant on a le même âge) et je vis en France aussi ^^ J\'ai fais mon coming out a mes amis les plus proches il y a quelques jours dans un groupe de discussion sur messenger et ils me soutiennent tous, même mon petit ami s\'en fiche tant que je me sens bien. J\'ai trop peur pour l\'instant de le dire a mes parents mais je pense que je vais écrire une lettre a ma mère pour lui expliquer sinon je n\'y arriverais pas.. Donc je n\'ai pas encore de binder alors pour l\'instant je me contente d\'une brassière de sport (c\'est vraiment pas l\'idéal ^^) Je ne sais pas si tu verra ma réponse mais est-ce que tu as fais ton coming out depuis que tu as posté ici? Tu peux me contacter par mail si tu veux: MadGhostAlex@gmail.com Ou alors j\'ai Twitter et instagram (taxicabforjosh) mais je ne t\'oblige a rien! :) J\'espère que tout se passe bien pour toi, Max
- Max on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
I have a bit of a past as well, so i get where you are coming from. i myself have panic attacks. a lot of my friends just don't understand what its like. people are often scared of something (or someone) different than themselves. just keep your head held high.
- Mikaila/Nico on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
im a teen too. its hard, but i believe that honesty is the best policy. good luck!
- Mikaila/Nico on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Ok I just saw this video of androgynous model Rain Dove and she kind of talks about her experience. It's a really positive message about being yourself. Plus she wears a really cool suit lol. https://www.facebook.com/tomboyx/videos/1453025851408842/
- Lila on I Accepted That Label
I only see a queer person stepping into their own confidence in this picture :) radical haircuts, radical self-confidence radical/rebel
- radical/rebel on a(symmetric)
I am a 56-year old man who wishes he had been born a woman. I have the same problem that you have. I want to be a FEMME male, but I am in the closet. In the San Francisco Bay Area, a amab can be openly gay/bi/trans, but it is still not acceptable to be FEMME. Talk to me, PLEASE.
- Anonymous on What a task!
One fundamentally new thing about the internet is that you can find other people like yourself without having to risk coming out. We're out here, late blooming nonbinary or other kinds of trans* folks. 62, m2f-or-something-else-non-m
- R on What a task!
I hear ya. I\'m doing school sports and am so much happier/fitter than ever. My curves and boobs are shrinking I\'m so happy
- Jace on Question: Binders and Sagging?
Exactly how I feel! Right now I'm just trying to lose weight, so they can get smaller too... It makes me feel so confused and sad. It kinda comforts me to know I'm not alone though. I just wish there was more, I don't know, information or advice or something about this...
- Akki on On My More Male Days
These comments have so far been examples of what to use when you know the person. Example: a human holds the door for you at an establishment. What pronoun/noun do you use? Thank you, human?
- Chaos on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Same. I'm trying out at the moment using he/her and she/his.
- Luke on Pronoun Limitation
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I\'m living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I\'m hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- key on Profile: Atsuki
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I\'m living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I\'m hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- Anonymous on Profile: RJ
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I\'m living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I\'m hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- key on Profile: Tam
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I\'m living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I\'m hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- key on Profile: Mar
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I'm living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I'm hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- key on Profile: Sara
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I'm living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I'm hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- key on Profile: Kay
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I'm living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I'm hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- key on Profile: Jaidan
hi my name is keyvan I am 23 years old I am a man And I'm living in Asia in southern Iran. One can imagine how far apart the I thought I Perhaps an ideal life I'm hoping with you In a faraway place If there is a possibility Send me a message keyvannni@gmail.com
- key on My name is Emily!
In terms of articles, we aren\'t so small anymore (we have 155 pages at time of this posting) but we always need more editors. So anyone willing to help come over and lend a hand.
- miiohau on Recommendation: Gender Wiki
same, mate.
- nola on On My More Male Days
You sound like an awesome person! Also, yay for gender-less people in the woods! I am from a rural area, and I see all these gender-diverse folks in cities, but not so many in the forest :)
- Giuseppe Lowe on Profile: Zeek
It sounds like you are Pansexual rather than A tranny chaser, there was a natal female who used to go to gay clubs and was totally obsessed with Trans people, when I told her I was trans she was all over me, until I told her I was winding her up, she didn't seem so interested in me after that
- Anonymous on Question: About Tranny Chasers
Very helpful and Great information, we appreciate advise especially coming from a professional. Thanks again and keep up the great work!
- Dating Rules on Question: How do I date as a genderqueer individual?
So my name is Mackenzie, I'm 15, and I'm Genderfluid. I was born a female. I've come out to my counselor, and a couple of my close friends. I'm terrified of coming out to my parents though. They accept gays, but I don't know if they will accept being genderfluid. Some people just don't understand it and I don't think they will. I've worn guy clothes to school and I got a lot of weird looks by people that go to my school and teachers at my school, but nobody said anything. I wanna cut my hair short like a guy, and I'm slowly getting it cut off, but after I tell my parents I'm afraid they won't let me cut my hair. Plus I play sports, like 24/7. What do I do?
- Mac on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Awesome climb with the banner, Sen!
- Petey on Profile: Sen Holiday
I am a non-binary Scandinavian over 40 and I am close to giving up. I despair that I will ever find any peers. There are no spaces for me in my country and I cannot find any online communities where someone like me is represented. I feel horribly jealous of the teens and twenty-somethings who all grew up with the internet and have had access to knowledge about other people like themselves existing, language for who they are, communities to share in. There is no place online that reflects or includes someone like me. There is no place offline where my existence is acknowledged either. I feel completely unreal and it makes me wish I was dead so I didn't have to deal with this every single day.
- Anonymous on Genderfork is Looking for Diverse Submissions!
In many situations, the person's role can be used as a title, as in, "Good morning, officer," or "No, doctor," or, in a restaurant, "Thank you, server." In a letter, I would use, "Dear Electric Company Representative." In some situations, "Hello, friend" is appropriate. Or "Hello, fellow shopper." These sorts of sidesteps may not work in every situation, but I find they help a lot.
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Nice to meet you too, Anna.
- Ty on Profile: Anna
I totally agree with getting rid of strictly male/female as norm. I've only recently realized how uncomfortable I am with being characterized so much based off my anatomy and I appreciate your openness. Sorry for the awkward comment, I'm awkward.
- Ty on Profile: Phoenix
This is so me. For 16 years this have happemd to me to, I'm reasintly a demiboy who has changed name And birth certificate
- Theo on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I get called cream puff, star child, and other cute little names. It really depends on interests and preferences and such. :)
- Anonymous on Question: gender neutral terms of affection for friends
i believe the above commenters are referring to just long binders- as in, the tank-top like ones (but don't quote me on that).
- jupiter on Question: Disguising hips
I like per very much
- Becca on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
ur gorgeous!! like.. wow
- sky on Profile: Adrienne
or feminine whatever u prefer
- sky on Profile: Mar
i love ur hair and tbh ur adorable in a masculine way lol
- sky on Profile: Mar
*cough*TROLL*cough* Seriously. This is not the place for you to behave in this manner. Let the kids figure themselves out and if they did want your religion I'm sure they would go hunt for it.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
awe! so cute!
- sky on Hedgehog.
oh my god this is AMAZING lol
- sky on Triple A
oh my god this is great lol
- sky on Triple A
omg this is exactly how i feel
- sky on Brain Responses
Caleb, its awesome to know you as the person you believe you are and its awesomely strong that u were able to post that here! i hope you are able to come out someday as you want <3 lots of love, skylar
- sky on I Wish the World Could Have Known Me
this is one of the most true things i have ever read
- sky on Yourself
you can buy it at spencers or off amazon
- sky on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I'm 14 and a gender fluid female and I actually have a lot of people who accept me my parents are separated and my mom knows as well as two of my teachers and one of my friends (I haven't told the others) but the one I'm really worried about is my father and brother just today I told my dad I was going to get my hair cut really short and he looked at me and said that I was so pretty with long hair but that he didn't care and I asked him once if he had a really close friend that was gender fluid what he would do he said ditch them and it really wasn't good so I've no idea how or if I should tell him please help
- c on Question: Coming out as gender fluid

- Honey on Question: When do trans people realize it?
The person who wrote this sounds like an amazing person. And I would love to meet them. Or talk to them...or just be like, hey you...I liked your profile.
- It's 9:39 on Profile: between the hours of 8 and 10
I'm religious, and I feel God has made me transgender for a reason. Everyone has their own path to walk, and this is mine. It may be difficult, but one day I'll be able to look in the mirror and say, "this is me."
- Adrian on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I couldn't have described how I am feeling any better than how you described how you are feeling...If that makes any sense. I just wish I could have been born a boy, it would make everything so much easier
- Adrian on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Hi, Trying to keep this short. I had SRS 16 years ago and lived as a woman for 6 years. I guess you could say I was "successful" in that I was able to keep my good job (where everyone knew my history) and lived with a somewhat handsome boyfriend who wanted to marry me. Outside of work I was mainly stealth (made easier because I was characterized as beautiful or pretty woman). Living stealth felt somewhat like lying to people which caused stress. My family was split in acceptance and caused me stress. The main other stress was constantly having to alter my voice. I decided to transition back and have lived as a male for 10 years. I have been living with a woman for 7 years and it is comfortable except for times in the bedroom. At this point I feel that I am also living somewhat of a lie. I feel I need to keep my chest covered due to appearance (no swimming for me) and using public mens rooms. I want to live as a woman again and just "tough it out" because that is what I am physically. I am really concerned about my girlfriend though. When we first met and she accepted me I was extremely happy. The thought of hurting her emotionally is almost too much to bear. Do we leave a "trail of destruction" in our wakes when we try to find peace?
- Di on Detransition, retransition
If you wear one for a long time that can happen. Maybe you have it on too long try to reduce the time you are wearing it or try a different type??
- Robbie ;) on Question: Binding?
I am a male also, and have many things similar. I am also in the closet, but will love the hear more from you. I love the way you are. Sincerelly Ana
- Ana on Profile: (some feminine name not yet decided)
Hi - I am writing a paper on this too - and finding limited resources. Find any noteworthy ones? Would love to share.
- Hannah on Question: Queering Menstruation
This is not correct. I'm a linguist. The suffix is actually -ness and in this context comes from an Old English suffix denoting "the state of being" when attached to an adjective in order to make it a noun -- like playfulness and helpfulness. Nothing female about it.
- Anonymous on Question: gender neutral terms of affection for friends
For the info it's Galatians 3:28 - "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
- Aurel on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Speaking from previous experience (i'm gender-fluid and 14) I've learnt that wearing a sports bra and then putting one over it but backwards. It doesn't make you fully flat but it makes it look like pecks instead of boobs. you can even wear a sports bra (you can double it), a tight muscular shirt, and then putting your shirt over it. do NOT use ace bandages, it is extremely bad for your health. Also when wearing multiple sports bra's or anything else to bind with make sure you can BREATHE. if you can't take a deep breath without hurting, or if its leaving you bruises do NOT wear it. you can also lessen the amount of sports bra's you have on. Hope this helps!
- Anonymous on Question: Genderfluid help
Oops autocorrect. Nibling
- David on Nibling
Love this. I've been using "newt", per my friend Billy Johnson, who coined this 3 decades ago. I think "nibbling" is easier to decipher in conversation. Thank you!
- David on Nibling
Im Savannah. Im 11 years old gonna be 12 in January. I want to be a boy. I have always felt like a boy and that their was on inside me but, im just stuck in a girls body. I've been hinting it to my mom but, shes like when your 18 you can do whatever you want. I told my bffls and they are cool with it. I got my hair cut short and that made me so happy :) . But I just wanna be a boy now any advise
- Savannah on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Dani, Thank you for sharing! I turned to these blogs to try and find others who are in a similar situation, later in life, career, SO of multiple years... I am fortunate enough to have shared with my SO that I have and do question my sexuality, sexual identity, and how I want to live my life prior to marriage but now I have the long journey ahead to figure out how this is going to effect us in the long run and if we will stay together. I thought I could hide it from her as I had all my previous relationships but then again all my previous realtionships ended because I couldn't be honest about this one aspect of myself. The irony is I would usually tell them after I broke up that I was BI, but that wasn't the full truth either. It took me a long time to come to terms that, not only do I have a strong fem side but I love the girl inside me and I want her to have the opportunity to be seen and admired.... Anyways I could write for hours about this... Thanks for sharing.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Kittie, I think it is amazing that you are going to embrace your feminine side as a mature women. I am middle aged M continuing to struggle with the question of my identity, and I have found it difficult to relate to many of the younger people going through puberty and questioning their identity (sorry younger folks, nothing personal) so thank you for sharing!! I am engaged to a beautiful F who I just came out too and it didn't go very well. It could have gone worse, but it could have gone better to. I feel like all my life I tried to find acceptance for who I am and one of my concerns is that I don't want to get to the later part of my life and regret not embracing my female side... I am still working through it all and I was lucky to find a local therapist to talk too. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing and I hope you will continue to share your experience with us.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Well! I haven\'t tried yet. But I have read about it. My friend was planning to go for Mirena as she was going through the heavy flow every time she had menstruation. The sanitary products did not help her a lot. But, last year onwards, on doctor\'s recommendation she started using a menstrual cup (http://www.cupissima.com) and was satisfied with the result. The doctor advised her that she reuse the cup sterilizing it.
- Edith Wilson on Question: Queering Menstruation
Hey! Ftm here. This needs to be said, and said loud. It DOES NOT MATTER when you discovered that you were trans. You can be ftm and lived happily as a complete "girly girl" when you were little, or Mtf and were the biggest fan of trucks and climbing and whatever else little boys are supposed to like. You could also have been a total tomboy (ftm) or loved princesses, frills, and pink (mtf). This makes your current experience NO LESS VALID, and makes you NO LESS TRANS.
- James on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Wow, thank you, for showing up on this site as a grown adult with a powerful career and commensurate responsibilities. It's so great to see we are everywhere. And that it's not always obvious. I bet your coworkers who've benefited from your policy decisions and influence re: LGBT issues appreciate it. Best of luck in your journey.
- AJ on Profile: Jodi
Hola Anonymous, Just letting you know that there are many different gender identities that a person could be. If you sometimes feel like a girl, sometimes feel like a boy, and sometimes are a mix of both, or neither, you should look up the term 'Genderfluid'! It may help you figure out how you're feeling :)
- Mazzy on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Congratulations Dani! it's takes a ridiculous amount of courage to do what you've done and I wish you and your wife the happiest years yet :)
- Mazzy on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Hey there Gabriel, Don't worry too much about the being alone thing, As you can see from this website and the thousands like it, there are many, many people in the world who are facing similar situations and who feel the same way. What's important for you to know is that your feelings are valid. Read that sentence, and then re-read it. You're only 15 and that is still a pretty young age, it's completely normal for you to only realise things about yourself now. There are plenty of people who only realised that they weren't who they were "supposed" to be later in life. I myself am 18, but my Uncle has only just come out to the family as trans and she is 49! The dressing up and make up is something I can personally relate to, however,keep in mind that there are many men who wear skirts (Jaden Smith, for example) and makeup. As a fashion and beauty enthusiast, it's important for us both to remember that clothing and makeup has no gender, and you can do whatever the hell you want :) Take your time with your emotions and your feelings, I've personally found that researching these issues is really helpful and can help you see the range of people that exist happily within this world that share similar experiences to you. As for the surgery and hormones, no, that does not make you any less of a man. At all. It's your decision how far you choose to transition and how you choose to present yourself is your own business. Keep in mind, hormones and surgery are things you may change your mind on as you grow older and grow into yourself. As long as you recognise if your feelings on this matter change or not, then it shouldn't be a problem for you. If, in future, you choose to take that step, then congratulations! As it is, the steps that you've already taken, (from recognising and acknowledging your feelings, to posting here asking for advice) are important ones that show how ready you are to accept yourself this way. Don't worry about the faking it and making-it-up. There may be many people who will try to convince you that that is what you're doing; however, at the end of the day, whatever you feel within yourself is something only you will understand. Your feelings have led you to this conclusion, so take courage in yourself and embrace who you truly are :) I wish you luck, and I hope you have fun on this journey! p.s. Sorry about using your name, I don't know if you've picked a new name yet <3
- Mazzy on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Many thanks! ;)
- Jo on casual outfits
So, I'm a 15 year old girl, and about two months ago I realised I thought I was a boy. Despite the fact I'm now confused and shocked at my own discovery, I am the happiest I've been in a really long time. The only thing wrong (apart from the fact no-one else knows I'm possibly a boy) is everyone I have heard of who doesn't feel like their assigned gender has known since they were very young, or have felt different, wrong, or confused. For fifteen years I have been 100% sure I am a girl: I have loved dressing up, wearing make up, being girly and feminine etc. Am I just faking it, trying to be different, making things up? I'm worried I am just seriously overthinking things, but at the same time, the only future I see for myself is one where I'm a boy. Also, I do not want any surgery and I do not want to take hormones. I just want to wear a binder and come across as ably with male pronouns and a male name. Does this mean I don't really want to be a boy? Thank you to anyone who replies whatsoever, I just don't want to feel alone.
- Gabriel on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Great idea but after finding Skirtcraft , I wish there was more choice. Great idea for hot weather , better that wearing sticky shorts or pants.
- Martin on Unisex skirt from Minneapolis

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