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You sound like an awesome person! Also, yay for gender-less people in the woods! I am from a rural area, and I see all these gender-diverse folks in cities, but not so many in the forest :)
- Giuseppe Lowe on Profile: Zeek
It sounds like you are Pansexual rather than A tranny chaser, there was a natal female who used to go to gay clubs and was totally obsessed with Trans people, when I told her I was trans she was all over me, until I told her I was winding her up, she didn't seem so interested in me after that
- Anonymous on Question: About Tranny Chasers
Very helpful and Great information, we appreciate advise especially coming from a professional. Thanks again and keep up the great work!
- Dating Rules on Question: How do I date as a genderqueer individual?
So my name is Mackenzie, I'm 15, and I'm Genderfluid. I was born a female. I've come out to my counselor, and a couple of my close friends. I'm terrified of coming out to my parents though. They accept gays, but I don't know if they will accept being genderfluid. Some people just don't understand it and I don't think they will. I've worn guy clothes to school and I got a lot of weird looks by people that go to my school and teachers at my school, but nobody said anything. I wanna cut my hair short like a guy, and I'm slowly getting it cut off, but after I tell my parents I'm afraid they won't let me cut my hair. Plus I play sports, like 24/7. What do I do?
- Mac on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Awesome climb with the banner, Sen!
- Petey on Profile: Sen Holiday
I am a non-binary Scandinavian over 40 and I am close to giving up. I despair that I will ever find any peers. There are no spaces for me in my country and I cannot find any online communities where someone like me is represented. I feel horribly jealous of the teens and twenty-somethings who all grew up with the internet and have had access to knowledge about other people like themselves existing, language for who they are, communities to share in. There is no place online that reflects or includes someone like me. There is no place offline where my existence is acknowledged either. I feel completely unreal and it makes me wish I was dead so I didn't have to deal with this every single day.
- Anonymous on Genderfork is Looking for Diverse Submissions!
In many situations, the person's role can be used as a title, as in, "Good morning, officer," or "No, doctor," or, in a restaurant, "Thank you, server." In a letter, I would use, "Dear Electric Company Representative." In some situations, "Hello, friend" is appropriate. Or "Hello, fellow shopper." These sorts of sidesteps may not work in every situation, but I find they help a lot.
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Nice to meet you too, Anna.
- Ty on Profile: Anna
I totally agree with getting rid of strictly male/female as norm. I've only recently realized how uncomfortable I am with being characterized so much based off my anatomy and I appreciate your openness. Sorry for the awkward comment, I'm awkward.
- Ty on Profile: Phoenix
This is so me. For 16 years this have happemd to me to, I'm reasintly a demiboy who has changed name And birth certificate
- Theo on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I get called cream puff, star child, and other cute little names. It really depends on interests and preferences and such. :)
- Anonymous on Question: gender neutral terms of affection for friends
i believe the above commenters are referring to just long binders- as in, the tank-top like ones (but don't quote me on that).
- jupiter on Question: Disguising hips
I like per very much
- Becca on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
ur gorgeous!! like.. wow
- sky on Profile: Adrienne
or feminine whatever u prefer
- sky on Profile: Mar
i love ur hair and tbh ur adorable in a masculine way lol
- sky on Profile: Mar
*cough*TROLL*cough* Seriously. This is not the place for you to behave in this manner. Let the kids figure themselves out and if they did want your religion I'm sure they would go hunt for it.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
awe! so cute!
- sky on Hedgehog.
oh my god this is AMAZING lol
- sky on Triple A
oh my god this is great lol
- sky on Triple A
omg this is exactly how i feel
- sky on Brain Responses
Caleb, its awesome to know you as the person you believe you are and its awesomely strong that u were able to post that here! i hope you are able to come out someday as you want <3 lots of love, skylar
- sky on I Wish the World Could Have Known Me
this is one of the most true things i have ever read
- sky on Yourself
you can buy it at spencers or off amazon
- sky on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I'm 14 and a gender fluid female and I actually have a lot of people who accept me my parents are separated and my mom knows as well as two of my teachers and one of my friends (I haven't told the others) but the one I'm really worried about is my father and brother just today I told my dad I was going to get my hair cut really short and he looked at me and said that I was so pretty with long hair but that he didn't care and I asked him once if he had a really close friend that was gender fluid what he would do he said ditch them and it really wasn't good so I've no idea how or if I should tell him please help
- c on Question: Coming out as gender fluid

- Honey on Question: When do trans people realize it?
The person who wrote this sounds like an amazing person. And I would love to meet them. Or talk to them...or just be like, hey you...I liked your profile.
- It's 9:39 on Profile: between the hours of 8 and 10
I'm religious, and I feel God has made me transgender for a reason. Everyone has their own path to walk, and this is mine. It may be difficult, but one day I'll be able to look in the mirror and say, "this is me."
- Adrian on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I couldn't have described how I am feeling any better than how you described how you are feeling...If that makes any sense. I just wish I could have been born a boy, it would make everything so much easier
- Adrian on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Hi, Trying to keep this short. I had SRS 16 years ago and lived as a woman for 6 years. I guess you could say I was "successful" in that I was able to keep my good job (where everyone knew my history) and lived with a somewhat handsome boyfriend who wanted to marry me. Outside of work I was mainly stealth (made easier because I was characterized as beautiful or pretty woman). Living stealth felt somewhat like lying to people which caused stress. My family was split in acceptance and caused me stress. The main other stress was constantly having to alter my voice. I decided to transition back and have lived as a male for 10 years. I have been living with a woman for 7 years and it is comfortable except for times in the bedroom. At this point I feel that I am also living somewhat of a lie. I feel I need to keep my chest covered due to appearance (no swimming for me) and using public mens rooms. I want to live as a woman again and just "tough it out" because that is what I am physically. I am really concerned about my girlfriend though. When we first met and she accepted me I was extremely happy. The thought of hurting her emotionally is almost too much to bear. Do we leave a "trail of destruction" in our wakes when we try to find peace?
- Di on Detransition, retransition
If you wear one for a long time that can happen. Maybe you have it on too long try to reduce the time you are wearing it or try a different type??
- Robbie ;) on Question: Binding?
I am a male also, and have many things similar. I am also in the closet, but will love the hear more from you. I love the way you are. Sincerelly Ana
- Ana on Profile: (some feminine name not yet decided)
Hi - I am writing a paper on this too - and finding limited resources. Find any noteworthy ones? Would love to share.
- Hannah on Question: Queering Menstruation
This is not correct. I'm a linguist. The suffix is actually -ness and in this context comes from an Old English suffix denoting "the state of being" when attached to an adjective in order to make it a noun -- like playfulness and helpfulness. Nothing female about it.
- Anonymous on Question: gender neutral terms of affection for friends
For the info it's Galatians 3:28 - "There is neither Jew nor Greek, slave nor free, male nor female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
- Aurel on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Speaking from previous experience (i'm gender-fluid and 14) I've learnt that wearing a sports bra and then putting one over it but backwards. It doesn't make you fully flat but it makes it look like pecks instead of boobs. you can even wear a sports bra (you can double it), a tight muscular shirt, and then putting your shirt over it. do NOT use ace bandages, it is extremely bad for your health. Also when wearing multiple sports bra's or anything else to bind with make sure you can BREATHE. if you can't take a deep breath without hurting, or if its leaving you bruises do NOT wear it. you can also lessen the amount of sports bra's you have on. Hope this helps!
- Anonymous on Question: Genderfluid help
Oops autocorrect. Nibling
- David on Nibling
Love this. I've been using "newt", per my friend Billy Johnson, who coined this 3 decades ago. I think "nibbling" is easier to decipher in conversation. Thank you!
- David on Nibling
Im Savannah. Im 11 years old gonna be 12 in January. I want to be a boy. I have always felt like a boy and that their was on inside me but, im just stuck in a girls body. I've been hinting it to my mom but, shes like when your 18 you can do whatever you want. I told my bffls and they are cool with it. I got my hair cut short and that made me so happy :) . But I just wanna be a boy now any advise
- Savannah on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Dani, Thank you for sharing! I turned to these blogs to try and find others who are in a similar situation, later in life, career, SO of multiple years... I am fortunate enough to have shared with my SO that I have and do question my sexuality, sexual identity, and how I want to live my life prior to marriage but now I have the long journey ahead to figure out how this is going to effect us in the long run and if we will stay together. I thought I could hide it from her as I had all my previous relationships but then again all my previous realtionships ended because I couldn't be honest about this one aspect of myself. The irony is I would usually tell them after I broke up that I was BI, but that wasn't the full truth either. It took me a long time to come to terms that, not only do I have a strong fem side but I love the girl inside me and I want her to have the opportunity to be seen and admired.... Anyways I could write for hours about this... Thanks for sharing.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Kittie, I think it is amazing that you are going to embrace your feminine side as a mature women. I am middle aged M continuing to struggle with the question of my identity, and I have found it difficult to relate to many of the younger people going through puberty and questioning their identity (sorry younger folks, nothing personal) so thank you for sharing!! I am engaged to a beautiful F who I just came out too and it didn't go very well. It could have gone worse, but it could have gone better to. I feel like all my life I tried to find acceptance for who I am and one of my concerns is that I don't want to get to the later part of my life and regret not embracing my female side... I am still working through it all and I was lucky to find a local therapist to talk too. Anyways, I just wanted to say thank you for sharing and I hope you will continue to share your experience with us.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Well! I haven\'t tried yet. But I have read about it. My friend was planning to go for Mirena as she was going through the heavy flow every time she had menstruation. The sanitary products did not help her a lot. But, last year onwards, on doctor\'s recommendation she started using a menstrual cup (http://www.cupissima.com) and was satisfied with the result. The doctor advised her that she reuse the cup sterilizing it.
- Edith Wilson on Question: Queering Menstruation
Hey! Ftm here. This needs to be said, and said loud. It DOES NOT MATTER when you discovered that you were trans. You can be ftm and lived happily as a complete "girly girl" when you were little, or Mtf and were the biggest fan of trucks and climbing and whatever else little boys are supposed to like. You could also have been a total tomboy (ftm) or loved princesses, frills, and pink (mtf). This makes your current experience NO LESS VALID, and makes you NO LESS TRANS.
- James on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Wow, thank you, for showing up on this site as a grown adult with a powerful career and commensurate responsibilities. It's so great to see we are everywhere. And that it's not always obvious. I bet your coworkers who've benefited from your policy decisions and influence re: LGBT issues appreciate it. Best of luck in your journey.
- AJ on Profile: Jodi
Hola Anonymous, Just letting you know that there are many different gender identities that a person could be. If you sometimes feel like a girl, sometimes feel like a boy, and sometimes are a mix of both, or neither, you should look up the term 'Genderfluid'! It may help you figure out how you're feeling :)
- Mazzy on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Congratulations Dani! it's takes a ridiculous amount of courage to do what you've done and I wish you and your wife the happiest years yet :)
- Mazzy on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Hey there Gabriel, Don't worry too much about the being alone thing, As you can see from this website and the thousands like it, there are many, many people in the world who are facing similar situations and who feel the same way. What's important for you to know is that your feelings are valid. Read that sentence, and then re-read it. You're only 15 and that is still a pretty young age, it's completely normal for you to only realise things about yourself now. There are plenty of people who only realised that they weren't who they were "supposed" to be later in life. I myself am 18, but my Uncle has only just come out to the family as trans and she is 49! The dressing up and make up is something I can personally relate to, however,keep in mind that there are many men who wear skirts (Jaden Smith, for example) and makeup. As a fashion and beauty enthusiast, it's important for us both to remember that clothing and makeup has no gender, and you can do whatever the hell you want :) Take your time with your emotions and your feelings, I've personally found that researching these issues is really helpful and can help you see the range of people that exist happily within this world that share similar experiences to you. As for the surgery and hormones, no, that does not make you any less of a man. At all. It's your decision how far you choose to transition and how you choose to present yourself is your own business. Keep in mind, hormones and surgery are things you may change your mind on as you grow older and grow into yourself. As long as you recognise if your feelings on this matter change or not, then it shouldn't be a problem for you. If, in future, you choose to take that step, then congratulations! As it is, the steps that you've already taken, (from recognising and acknowledging your feelings, to posting here asking for advice) are important ones that show how ready you are to accept yourself this way. Don't worry about the faking it and making-it-up. There may be many people who will try to convince you that that is what you're doing; however, at the end of the day, whatever you feel within yourself is something only you will understand. Your feelings have led you to this conclusion, so take courage in yourself and embrace who you truly are :) I wish you luck, and I hope you have fun on this journey! p.s. Sorry about using your name, I don't know if you've picked a new name yet <3
- Mazzy on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Many thanks! ;)
- Jo on casual outfits
So, I'm a 15 year old girl, and about two months ago I realised I thought I was a boy. Despite the fact I'm now confused and shocked at my own discovery, I am the happiest I've been in a really long time. The only thing wrong (apart from the fact no-one else knows I'm possibly a boy) is everyone I have heard of who doesn't feel like their assigned gender has known since they were very young, or have felt different, wrong, or confused. For fifteen years I have been 100% sure I am a girl: I have loved dressing up, wearing make up, being girly and feminine etc. Am I just faking it, trying to be different, making things up? I'm worried I am just seriously overthinking things, but at the same time, the only future I see for myself is one where I'm a boy. Also, I do not want any surgery and I do not want to take hormones. I just want to wear a binder and come across as ably with male pronouns and a male name. Does this mean I don't really want to be a boy? Thank you to anyone who replies whatsoever, I just don't want to feel alone.
- Gabriel on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Great idea but after finding Skirtcraft , I wish there was more choice. Great idea for hot weather , better that wearing sticky shorts or pants.
- Martin on Unisex skirt from Minneapolis
try finding a list of estrogen-reducing and testosterone-boosting foods. if you cut most e foods out of your diet, you'll start to look more masc. my ftm friend did so and he actually has facial hair now..
- ryan on Question: Tips for masculinizing feminine faces?
"Mx" has appeared a lot here, and Wikipedia lists it as the only gender neutral honorific in English. It occurred to me that part of our discomfort with various new words is that they sound "strange" to us because we are so used to what is already in use. Soooo, I'm keeping this in mind as I consider (or even think of) new possibilities. ...BUT thinking about this more, WHY do we use honorifics anyway? Isn't it to describe the person we are addressing? Many honorifics describe social status, or accomplishments, AND at their most basic: GENDER. Gender is important enough in English that we have honorifics to so identify people. BUT we also use it to personalize and humanize people... ...What if we disposed of gender specific words altogether? Well, at first blush it would seem "disrespectful," but our views of what are respectful personal references are and what is not, are changing, *especially* where gender inclusivity is concerned. Goodness! it's difficult & awkward to NOT use a gendered honorific if you've been taught to from childhood! Oh...okay, THIS just came to mind: "Per." - short for "Person." "Per. Blatchley? May I introduce to you Per. Havallah?" Okay, soooo, why say "Per. Havallah" instead of just "Havallah?" I can think of some cases where the noun "Havallah" might not obviously be a proper noun, and so "Per" (indicating the noun is a person) could be useful for understanding (um...maybe, capitalization gives that away?). And I think that "Per." adequately personalizes or humanizes "Havallah" Hmmm...still a little awkward, but it's easy to say and (in my mind) doesn't sound any more pretentious than anything else I've heard. Of course, *whatever* we end-up using will eventually sound "right" through usage and desensitization. Anyway, maybe understanding why we use honorifics can help us to find some better ones?
- Brettany Renee Blatchley on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
I like your thinking here Sadie, but I also think that being short and easy to say is important for an honorific. I wonder, could Respected Individual be shorted to "Ri." ? (It still doesn't do well on the tongue, but in writing I think it cold work.)
- Brettany Renee Blatchley on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
My suggestion for a gender-neutral replacement term for "sir/madam" would be "respected individual". Does that work?
- Sadie on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Coming out to parents at 13 is really hard, especially as something like genderfluid and pansexual. These are identities that aren't very well known by people in the previous generation, so it's normal that your parents might think you're confused. Are you really sure you want to come out? Don't feel presured, because you don't owe your parents anything. But it's understandable if you still want to come out, because everyone wants to feel accepted. The thing is, that if somebody came to their parents and said: "Mom, dad, I'm gay." the parents wouldn't probably hesitate that their child acctualy means it and they're sure about it. However, when somebody says: "Mom, dad, I'm trans/non-binary/something other than cis", their reaction is always that: "You're just going through a phase/having a teenage identity crisis/confused, etc etc." So what you need to do is to explain. Explain, when they don't get it, do it over again, use metaphors, show them videos/guides to parents of trans kids/anything that might help. Because almost everybody nowadays knows what "gay" means, but the non-binary identities are still an unexplored topic to most of the people. Remember, knowledge is your weapon, use it. Your parents think you're "confused", just because you're a teen and adults teens usually don't take seriously. Make them take you seriously and make them understand that your identity isn't made up. Btw, this might help you: http://adventuresingender.tumblr.com/post/40944549628/so-your-child-is-genderqueer-a-guide-for-parents If they don't accept you after that, that's okay. You know who you are and that more important than what your parents might think. Your identity is valid :-) Good luck with that :) !!
- Aure on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Im 13 and genderfluid/pansexual. I really want to come out to my parents, however when i previously identified as agender and i told my mother, she simply said i was confused. Any tips on how i could tell them?
- Harley on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Hello. I'm agnostic, and I have had periods in which I did believe entirely that there was indeed a Heaven and God and stuff. My dysphoria never receded, and neither did my anxiety (which is entirely irrelevant to this topic, but whatever.) Anyways, since you shared your views, allow me to share mine. Maybe God- or whatever may exist- had planned for us to learn vital life lessons during our transition, periods of confusion, and times of depression and such. Maybe we were meant to learn that we should be true to ourselves, but at the same time be logical in how we go about our relations. Maybe He (or it, or them, etc) had this all planned out, and we're not being disgraceful by making our bodies- our /lives/- liveable and comfortable.
- Sawyer on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Um, well, HRH stands for both "His Royal Highness" and "Her Royal Highness", depending on the incumbent, so I think that's pretty good evidence for "highness" being, in fact, gender neutral! (Same goes for lots of adjective-made-nouns using -ness)...
- tigr on Question: gender neutral terms of affection for friends
Highness is actually a feminized term with the -ess suffix. Think of words like actress, waitress...so actually not gender neutral.
- Aboo on Question: gender neutral terms of affection for friends
Um I don't think you even understand that people of a different religion than you or no religion at all might be visiting this site.
- I'm Alona, I hope to be called Allen on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Religion is strange. I don't believe it is related to sexuality or gender expression.
- I'm Alona, I hope to be called Allen on Question: When do trans people realize it?
It is amazing to find out that there are so many other people out there that feel the same way as me. I wish I could tell my parents who I really am. But at least I have one friend who understands me, although it doesn't really help.
- I'm Alona, I hope to be called Allen on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Its ok your welcome here! even if people don't like that you like guys, just don't care, its not your fault what gender you like...Does your family have anything against gay people? if not tell them...but otherwise keep it to yourself... But if your family doesn't support you.. I will personally kick their behinds... but anyway if they don't they don't deserve to be your family you cant fix what you cant help.. I hope this helped you :)
- F to M on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Im only eleven years old and lately I've noticed that I've always really,really wanted to be a guy. (yes, I do know about s*x and all that stuff, since my mother doesn't hide much) And thinking of having children, just isn't for me. Also I always hate they way my chest looks, I always wish I didn't have a curvy chest. I always pin back my hair when I'm alone and imagine what its like to be a guy. But, I do know I'm trans, and I'm scared that my family won't approve. I've always been the silent type so I don't have many friends, and anyway I don't think they know about transgender people yet anyway... I don't really have anyone to talk to...so will you please give me attvice ( or however its spelled)
- F to M on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Thank you for sharing this. This must be a tremendously difficult situation for you. You will be in my thoughts. All the best. As the Dead would say: "Keep on Truckin'".
- Jillian on Profile: Jodi
I'm non-binary too. To be exact, im X gender, the X is un-undefinable. Do you have a fb account, would love to add you.
- Kyle Alesha-Stacey on Profile: Sean
your pronouns are up to you. you can totally use it/its/itself
- nola on Profile: Derek
Just keep being you
- Kyle Alesha-Stacey on Profile: Jem
Hi Jess! Nice to meet you. I donate to Action for Trans Health, it does some great work. More power to you!
- G on Profile: Jess
In all honesty, you are you and I can't tell you who that is. I identify without gender and it's difficult for me to imagine feeling male or female. I suggest experimenting with it and going with what you feel. If you're feeling more neutral and wanting to present as such, go for it! Likewise, if you feel like putting on make-up or a skirt, it's your body and you're choice. Don't worry about labels and names until you understand the feeling. I wish you luck in your adventures!
- Cass on Question: Is my gender fluid or flux??
Go you. Love it
- Kyle Alesha-Stacey on Profile: Alex
Seek Jesus. Knock and the door will be opened for you. Most people think the bible is a joke, but test it out. Ask the Lord to help you genuinely, and He will. Ask Jesus into your heart, and He will change your life. The gender dysphoria will take a back seat to the joy that you will experience when you ask the Lord to be in your life.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Ask Jesus Christ to help you. No person really can help you with this. Seek the Lord with all of your heart mind and soul, and He will, I promise you, help you! He loves you!
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Don't do it. Seek Jesus. Read some of my other comments. This is too much for a young person like yourself to take on. Give this burden to the Lord and just ask Him into your life and help you.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I don't agree with these comments. I know how real gender confusion can be but why is the answer on this site always to just go ahead with it and change your body to align with the feelings that are going on in your heart and mind. I have had all kinds of feelings in my life, and I am thankful when I give this burden to God because I could have made such a mess out of my life if I just gave into my feelings all the time. No one on here suggests seeking God out in your life, and then seeing how you are doing afterwards. Most people who believe they are trans believe that God made a mistake with them, but God does not make mistakes. What do people think that God would make a mockery out of you like that and put you in the wrong body! I don't think so. There's more to this than most people care to research or understand. If people realized that there is evil trying to work against you to steal from you, then it would give you another perspective on this. To me the bible provides more alternatives than the liberal mindset that simply says give into your feelings. Feelings rule. They are our guide. Living like this is dangerous. Test it out and see if seeking God out in all of this genuinely will make you reconsider the decision to change your body. And who says you need to change your body? Why? You are hurting it with all the hormones and surgeries, etc. Can't anyone see this. Seek out the Lord Jesus. He is the answer to your confusion.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
This feeling of confusion is more common than you think and it can really overwhelm people to the point where they seriously consider whether they really are who they are. But who you are is more than gender, so instead of trying to focus on the gender dysphoria, seek Jesus Christ with all of your heart, and I can tell you that if you ask Him to help you a lot of this concern about the gender will dissipate because who you are is really who you are in Christ Jesus. Yes, God made us a gender but you will be happy with how He made you the more you seek Him out in your life. Our brokenness is not due to some mistake that you think God made with you, but with our lack of relationship with Him until we become children of God through Jesus Christ. He is the only way truth and life, and I promise you if you take that step with Him, you won't feel as much of a need to change your gender (like you really can't anyway). Not saying all the feelings will go away, but they will not consume you and you can have Joy at the same time in Christ, and won't feel the need as much to focus on gender confusion.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I'm 14 turning 15 soon and I've never felt quite right as a female, I mean I was raised with my mom labeling me as a girl, but I've never felt quite right. Everytime I've come up with the conclusion that I would be happier as a ftm, I start to cry and or get very scared. My mom isn't against gays and neither Is my dad but I don't know how they'd feel about this. I've came to the conclusion that female to male relationships are my forte and I'd be happier as a person who identifies as male and has a male partner. I've asked a few select friends to call me by he/ him. But at this age am I really ready for this? I'm scared of what people might think or that I'll be judged because I identify as male but don't plan on getting bottom half surgery.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
omg thankyou so much! i am going to come out to my parents in about a year, because theres alot of crap going on with the family. this helped me so much, thankyou!
- Your Mom xD ( Im not saying ) on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
I'm also trying to pick a gender neutral pronoun for myself and I've found great difficulty in it. I see a lot of people here prefer 'they.' And the very few people I've found in real life seem to prefer this too, but I'm baffled to as why. It's so impersonal to me. When I hear the word 'they' I don't think of a person or individual, I think of a group of people, or worse an establishment of some kind. Like when people are complaining about 'those people' and I usually interject with "who do you mean by they" to get them to stop, because they're about to generalize an entire group of people. I just want to make absolutely certain that people are thinking of us as a individuals and not things. Especially since we already are battling this issue in the LGBT community with people referring to us as 'it' a lot of the time precisely because we DON'T have a gender neutral pronoun. This has happened to me a few times and it's very hurtful. I'm also seeing a lot of hate for the grammar issues. But I've got to tell you, I'm a writer. And I just tried replacing 'he' with 'they' for a character in some of my previously written work to see if it would flow. It doesn't. Not at all. It's terribly, horrifically, confusing, especially when he goes on a date with his boyfriend. As a couple the word 'they' pops up a lot anyway, so to add even extra 'they's' to refer to only one of them made a hot mess. And trying to read even just one paragraph with it was a huge jumble of WTF. It's impossible to write a novel with. With the very brief research I've been doing so far, I'm really liking e/em/eir. It's sounds similar to they/they're. etc, so people already using 'they' wouldn't have very much of a difficult transition to make, but at the same time, it's clear you're referring to an individual instead of say, a couple, a group, or an establishment.
- Picking Flowers on Question: gender neutral pronouns
Mtf Guys I'm a guy and like guys. I am gay and I'm proud of my self but nobody knows if I tell people I always think I'm gonna be a laughing stock. I'm scared to tell my family Please don't judge me I did not wake up in the morning and decided to be gay I was born like rt is
- Andrew on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I am 34 years old, I have a very good career in a highly masculine and highly specialized field. I am at the point in my life that difficult psychological questions like gender identity can be absolutely devastating. Last week I had to make the admission to my wife of 5 years (together for 9) that I had gender issues and that I had been a closet cross dresser up until the end of highschool. It all resurfaced about a month ago in a pink landslide of girls clothes, wigs and body shaping silicone forms. Let me tell you, that is some stress that you don't want to put yourself or your SO through. There is about a 70% chance that a hetero female will reject this kind of behavior, and a further 20% that she will be incredibly uncomfortable with it if she was never made aware of it before the union. I got very lucky because my wife is part of the incredible 10%. *note* i made up those statistics on the spot but I've read thousands of threads in the last 8 weeks. My advice is to seek therapy when you first have these feelings. I am going to my first session next week 16 years behind schedule. There is help out there now. You are not alone. Deal with it now when the repercussions are not so severe. If you build a life around someone you are not, you will regret it! That said always be you. It may take a bit but we all figure out who we are by the end =) Cheers Dani
- Dani on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Neighbourino. Go for it. If your male days come like, once a year or something, it might be less hassle to simply bind in some other way. But as someone who has bound for years in said "other" ways: it's frickin hard. I have occasions where my breasts don't bother me; but they do quite consistently. As a trans* dude, I've got no qualms. I just went for it. If your breasts cause dysphoria, seriously just go for it. Binding makes it so much better.
- Matt on Question: Should genderqueer people apply for free binder programs?
Be honest about your situation and let them decide?
- Anonymous on Question: Should genderqueer people apply for free binder programs?
Glad this amazing little blog has kept going ^_^
- Hodge Podge on Call for Volunteers
I am 13 years old and for about a week now I have been watching transgender ftm youtubers musicallys and it made me question what if I was a boy. I don't really speak to my parents about stuff that's happening or how I feel a lot so I don't know how to tell them I'm a very secretive person. I also go to a very judgemental school where I think the people around me wouldn't understand not even my best friend I feel like I wouldn't be accepted anymore. But I don't know if I should consider it because I've never been big on dresses/skirts always jeans and a hoodie. And as a little kid I always played with toy cars and trains never that big on Barbie and stuff. Please help I'm confused about who I am and what I want to be ?
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
This made me feel more comfortable! I want to be a guy really badly. (ftm) 13-14 but when I was younger I was everything heels and dresses. Now i hate those things. Hell, I even wanted to buy a suit. But I was scared what people would think. I often found myself straying into the man section of stores and honestly thought nothing of it. My mom told me that I can't want to be a guy because I never acted that way as a kid. Today I wore masculine clothes and shoes and I never felt happier. My mother said that me wanting to be a guy is just me wanting to be special, and that im offending the transgender community. I'll gladly go to counseling, but now that she got the idea of me hurting everyone is starting to scare me. I want to be a guy so bad, but now i'm terrified off offending all of you womderful people. Please help me. Am I really trans or am I just confused?
- Milo on Question: When do trans people realize it?
This makes me feel a lot better actually. Because my whole life I was basically the definition of a girly girl. But now that i'm 13-14 (ftm) I feel more masculine. I'd rather be male then female. And for about 3-4 years I hated the body I was given. I didn't like the boobs I was going to have, nor did I like my vagina. Talking about that stuff was embarrassing and full out replusive. And toady I wore masculine clothes. I never felt happier. But I still like my sweet scents and boots. Im still really confused because, my mom, whom id recently came out to, is saying that I havent gone through the struggle my whole life. That knowing what gender you're supposed to be since birth is the only way you can identify as a male when you're a female or a female when youre a male. Right now, I still see myself being happier as a guy, but I still like perfumes and lotions and all the colours of the rainbow. I really want to know if i can still be a guy?
- Milo on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Hi everybody, I'm a 16 year old guy and I am not feeling comfortable with myself at this point of time and think I might actually be a girl deep inside. The feelings started about, when I hit puberty and got stronger over time. When I started thinking about these feelings I thought back at my childhood. What I kinda "noticed" right away is that when I was little (talking about like 1 - 5 years old) I used to adore girl stuff. The girl stuff waved off because I was raised as a boy. The feelings are really having a negative impact on my life. I started isolating myself from a lot of things. When I go out to get something in the store or when I go into town, I always wear earphones and minimize contact with other people. At home I am in my room 90% of the time, playing video games or watching YouTube. I also hate the fact that I can't wear the clothes I really want to wear. I am way to scared to get stuff from the girls department. My mom also doesn't want me to wear beanies which makes me pretty sad but I also don't really want to "disrespect" my mom. I really need someone's opinion on all this I really don't want anything like professional help or anything since I am already too scared to tell my family. The only people aware of my situation are a few really good friends.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
http://community.scarymommy.com/thread/6096/target-bathrooms-trans-safety
- Susan on Need to Pee
I have friends who are gender neutral and they like to be referred to as Mx. (it sounds like Meh-zzz). This term is used in two different functions. Firstly, the "x" is a replacement for the "r"/"iss"/"rs"/"s" part of the title and is genderless. Secondly, and less commonly, it is also known as a shortening of the word "mix" for those that feel themselves as a mixture of male and female. I have also seen Ind. which is short for Individual used as well. ref: Nonbinary.org (2016) Gender neutral pronouns. [accessed: 16/08/2016] http://nonbinary.org/wiki/Gender_neutral_titles#Ind (there are further references within this reference) I know this isn't EXACTLY what you're looking for but perhaps it will help you anyway.
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
I don't really understand anything about fashions or styles, so I can only repeat what I've heard other people say over the years. All people are different, so what works for others doesn't necessarily work for you. Some people say that if you are "physically" female, you should try to avoid form-fitting clothing in order to pass as androgynous, but too loose clothing will only "add to your curves" and probably not look stylish (whatever that is). I have this problem where people constantly see me as male even though I'm trying to go for androgynous. I've heard that if you wear "boy clothes", you'll be read as a boy, but if you add feminine accessories and go for a fashionable look, you're more likely to be read as neither (or either). I've also heard that some people find it comfortable to wear traditionally male clothing without trying to hide the feminine attributes their bodies have. I'm not sure if She's a Gent ( http://www.shesagent.com/ ) is an actual example of this, but I find the site and pictures to be very inspiring. I hope you find a style or such that makes you comfortable!
- anta on Question: Passing as Genderless
Hi there, I am a psychotherapist in Sherman Oaks and the mother of an amazing genderqueer kid. Living and working in my life getting to know the amazing individuals life chooses to put in my path as I get to know what more of what being part of the LGBTQ world is like. Glad to have been introduced to this site to keep getting to know others. Such a wonderful journey! Cara
- Cara O'Donnell on A Journey to Self Love
Hi Cat, I think you shouldn't come out to your parents, if they say that it's bullshit. You can still dress in boys clothes, let your parents believe that you're just a tomboy or something and tell your parents when they stop being so ignorant
- Aurel on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
Why not? Boys used to wear dresses all the time. Here are two cute ones: https://goo.gl/sD3wTq https://goo.gl/DIvqQl
- Anonymous on Clothes
I am 15 and I am bisexual and gender fluid my parents understand that im bi but they don't know thay im gender fluid and when I talked to them about people who are gender fluid they said that it is bullshit and they are saying it for attention so this has scared me from tellingy parents about it but I really want to dress in boy clothes and stuff but I can't untill I feel as if ive been accepted for who I am. I suggest if you want to come out just say it in a note because I think notes show that its important enough that u wrote it down. Being gender fluid is a big thing to come out as and I believe do it when you can do it when the time feels right and if they won't except you then other will have you.
- Cat on Question: Coming out as gender fluid
This is a problem you share with every non-binary person. There is no cultural norm for how to present as genders other than male or female, and a lot of people are ignorant of the fact that genders other than these two exist at all, let alone the fact that someone might not even have a gender. I am afab agender and have had a drastic breast reduction (not quite complete removal, but very close). People will frown and stare at my chest, realising that something is off, but if we interact they will almost invariably gender me female. I personally want to be allowed to wear whatever clothes I want, so I am generally not trying to dress up as genderless (however that would look). I don't think there is any way to avoid the gendering, so long as the culture you live in has no understanding of, or assigned role for, gender non-conforming people. I wouldn't recommend binding, unless you suffer from dysphoria over your breasts. Binding is hard on the body, and can lead to permanent negative effects over time. I realise this is probably not very helpful, but this is my experience, and I have been living as agender for several decades now. Hope you find some way to feel comfortable with your (lack of) gender, despite general society not acknowledging our existence.
- Anonymous on Question: Passing as Genderless
I'm sorry no one has replied to you yet - hopefully you will see this. There is nothing strange about being a girl and a gamer at the same time, liking to hang out with your friends and have a fun time. Girls do this just as much as boys and there is no such thing as a male or female mind. Since I don't know where you are in the world, I can't tell you where you might find someone knowledgable to talk to, but that's what the internet is for - try searching for trans youth groups and counseling in your area. You might also consider talking to your family doctor, and checking out what kind of counseling might be offered at your school. I hope you find the help you need to figure things out and feel better about yourself.
- Anonymous on Question: When do trans people realize it?
Glad you're all as mixed up as I am... Trying to write a government form on a system that won't allow a freetext "Other" option. I think my list of titles is going to get rather long. Would "Other" seem demeaning as a title? (My assumption is yes, but this could be understandable by us muggles and therefore would easily spread...) (P.S I'm not considering "Other" just wondering about your opinions)
- Dave on Question: Gender neutral titles
hey!! I'm ftm and when i was little i liked feminine things too and i didn't really realise i liked being a guy until last year and sometimes i think I'm faking it to be be special too but then I'm reminded that just because i want to be a bit feminine doesn't mean I'm not ftm. ftm people do not need to prove their masculinity. i think it's important to remember that gender identity and gender expression are different.
- oakley on Question: When do trans people realize it?
I would think it'd be okay. I feel like when they say that, they're thinking not so much for people who are cosplaying or something like that. For priority they should be for people struggling with body dysmorphia, even if it's not 24/7.
- Anonymous on Question: Should genderqueer people apply for free binder programs?

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