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Heard something cute earlier A presenter addressed their audience as Laddies, lassies and lassos. I am totally stealing this. Hope ìt makes yall smile as much as it did me.
- Carroll on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Well, I think the hyperlink works, but here’s the url for copy-paste: https://medium.com/@transstyleguide/when-maam-and-sir-just-don-t-work-help-9abed6d2f863
- M. on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
I was googling this topic and came across this thread, and am getting some great ideas, thanks everyone! Another result was an article BY a non-binary trans person, so I thought it was a great resource! They really go in depth about honorifics, and different types of non-gendering language, and it’s super informative! They actually suggest using “Mx” most frequently! Anyway: link: ... Hope this continues to help people as we try to become more inclusive people! :D
- M. on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
To Doug, someone above suggested just “excuse me!” and, if needed, use something they’re wearing to call out one person. (The example was to refer to the person as “my friend in the hoodie”.) To Ali, I wonder if people could be addressed by the first initial and then the last name? Or the full name? Or maybe “Patient [lastname]”?? That’s a tough one, though, so I’m not sure there’s one answer to it.
- M. on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
I’m of the opinion that such people just need to keep hearing gender neutral terms, and maybe it’ll sink in... *headdesk*
- M. on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Not from the UK, but I really enjoy how much they use “Love.” I’m not sure, as and American, I could pull off “mate” and be taken seriously, lol! I can claim a bit of US Southerner, so I’d probably use “Hun” (short for “Honey”), or “Sweetie”. Fun to talk about words across the globe that could work!
- M. on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
What would be the most respectful in calling situations where you don’t know a person is to *start* with the gender neutral term. I mean, the point is to be encompassing of ALL people, so why would you start off by using something that could be offensive?! Many terms have been suggested here, but on phone calls, “patron”, “min”, “mx”, “gentle person” (personally, is probably say, “good gentle”, but I’m a bit of a Ren Faire person), or, even better: use their name! I’d use the first name because the people who are going to get offended by not using an honorific and then their last name will tell you what honorific to use!
- M. on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Super old thread, but I wanted to say that using “sir/madam” or “Mr/Mrs” doesn’t work for non-binary people. I do think first initial, and then last name, would work well, if you’re sending the letter to a specific person. Of course, “To Whom It May Concern” is a valid, gender-neutral term in the first place.
- M. on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
as someone who bound daily when i was 13-14 and my breasts were still developing, i found it permanently changed how they grew. to be fair, i probably wasn't doing it perfectly, but i did my best to follow all the safety tips i could find. ever since then my breasts have been saggy - when i'm resting or have a slightly hunched back, my nipples fall at the very bottom of my breasts. raising my arms above my head only gets them about an inch higher. this could be due to many factors - i'm overweight, so my body in general is heavy, and though i rarely bind now i only wear sports bras, so maybe i'm not getting enough support. but as someone who started developing early, at 11, i noticed a significant change in the appearance before and after i bound for two years. i suspect this is because i was compressing my breasts as they were actively still growing, so they had to grow the best way they could, which was down. at 19 years old now this hasn't gotten any better. this does bother me now that i rarely bind and only have social dysphoria as opposed to body dysphoria now. though i wish i could present masc just to stop being misgendered, i've mostly given up on binding now because it rarely works for me. being overweight my chest will never be completely flat in a binder, and combined with my hips that are nearly wider than my shoulders, short height, high voice and facial shape, it really only works if i layer up, purposely try to lower my voice, and try to keep my face neutral or grumpy. part of me wishes i never bound because i now worry about what people will think of my saggy breasts, especially any cis people i might date who i suspect will only humour my identity but still see me as a girl. i'd like to say that the people who really matter won't care about how your chest looks, but i would caution any younger teens who want to bind before their breasts are done growing - it absolutely can change how they grow in, and you may not like it. i also realize for most people not suffering from intense dysphoria every day is much more important, and with careful binding, you may be fine.
- vice on Question: Binders and Sagging?
I'm Nonbinary and bind my chest only sometimes when i'm feeling disphoric i've seen little to no change in my breasts
- Remi on Question: Binders and Sagging?
There is certainly a lot to find out about this subject. I love all of the points you've made.
- BuddyBio Social Media on Profile: Alex
I myself am transgender (female to male) I’m at the age of 14 so I was looking for health concerns and safety for chest binding, and I have to say this is very helpful! My mother doesn’t want me to bind because she said it might be unhealthy for my growing body, so I’m going to share this information with her so I can feel more like myself! Thank you!
- Loui on Question: Binder for 13 year old
This is really important. Thank you so much for taking the time to help people like me. I'm young, but I live in the deep south and I feel misunderstood every day. Most people where I live are incredibly judgemental, and finding someone who not only doesn't judge me but also understands what I'm going through is a rare and special thing. I'm actually afab, but I feel basically the same way you were describing, but switched around. Feminine clothing and other things like that almost always have felt wrong for my personality and state of mind in some way, but as I've gotten a little bit older, I've gotten better at figuring out what parts of expressing myself I will actually be able to pull off in a place like this. Right now, I'm going through a rough time and have to live with my parents still. I work very hard and have a concrete plan to move out asap. But of course, some things can't be entirely avoided. I love my family, but they don't understand and are almost never accepting of me about gender. I have nightmares sometimes that they find out more than they already know, and I walk around feeling anxious the whole next day. To be completely honest, I have one close friend who I met a couple years ago. They moved away this past year, and I'm really missing the only person I know in person who understands me right now. Online friends are a wonderful thing and have done so much to help me, but nothing can substitute for the comfort you feel when you're sitting in silence with someone who understands you, and you know you don't have to say anything but just allow yourself to finally be content. My friend wants me to move to where they live, and I would really like that, as it's been a dream place for me to live for so long anyway. My friend knows I'd be very happy living there, and it's hard for me to wait that long while I keep working to get to it, but I'm not gonna stop.
- Anonymous on Long before "that" existed...
Thank you! This is something I think about a lot. There are many personal reasons why I wouldn't want to get any physical treatment such as hormones or surgery to help my body match everything else about me. I also don't have access to these things due to where I live and my social/cultural background. I take a more subtle route of training my body to become stronger and healthier, as I think that will make me feel more confident in who I am, and therefore be able to naturally pass as anything I'd need to because I'd feel more like how I see myself on the inside. I think when I do these things, people start to see me as more of who I am, because they often tend to perceive it as what they would consider natural human development over time. Of course, that's their opinion, but it's very important to me that I'm not seen as artificial in any way, because being seen that way by people has been intentional in the past as a mean-spirited way to tear myself and others like me down. One of my most interesting memories from childhood was reading a book about various women (really just afab) who did great things in history, who not all of them are talked about much. Although I honestly don't see myself as a woman, I did recognize something in some of the women that I could actually relate to a lot. Most specifically, any of them who passed as men not just because they needed to but also because it was what they preferred. That's such a strong memory for me, and at the time all I knew was that I'd found something I could relate to in a significant way.
- Anonymous on Embrace
I like to say lovely, as a gender neutral term. :)
- Persephone Paige on Question: Compliments
Hey, I've actually been wondering the exact same thing. I identify as gender fluid and my friends are all super supportive about it (basically my whole friend group is gay or is something different then their sex.) I'm biromantic and not sure about my sexuality(being gender fluid, I mainly want to do it with boys but sometimes I'm a girl so I'm heterosexual but when I'm a boy I'm homosexual, etc.) I'm not out as gender fluid, I'm sort of out as bi. Basically, I was born female at birth and I know I'm not a solid girl, I know that, but I might be a Demi-boy, but I sometimes feel more girly and sometimes feel just no gender. So I was wondering if instead of, say, 'I feel more like a boy but I kinda feel like a girl,' I could just say 'I feel like a Demi boy.' So basically, this is awesome! My bestie is a Demi-girl, so she can probably guide me through Demi-fluidness. Thanks for reading this, sorry I'm just kinda ranting. <3 :)
- Parker Kleinman on Question: Am I Demiflux, Demifluid, or Genderfluid?
At of late when addressing a group I no longer user ladies and gentlemen. Opting for Team or Colleagues Dear colleagues; formaly or hello team in a more casual missive.
- Carroll on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
This thread has been SUCH an interesting read and I've been sharing it with my coworkers as we have the same conversation and need for a formal gender-neutral pronoun or way of addressing someone (in different contexts: in emails, letters, or verbally if you're addressing someone or trying to get their attention from a distance). I love the Per idea. It rhymes with "Sir" so it doesn't sound too far-fetched or "strange" and it really equalizes the way you address anyone while still honoring their personhood. I'm going to try my best to start including that in my everyday speech and correspondences!
- Bree on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
How would that be pronounced? The way I imagine it being pronounced has very little difference from Miss; would it only be for writing? Or do you add a hard C to the end of it?
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
I have so many nicknames for the person I’m dating. Babes, Babe, Baby, my love, Mine, One and only, significant other, bean, beanie, cuddle bug, Cutie, Adorable, lovey, Hun, and most hilariously punkin’. But also I call them Darling a lot with a Freddie Mercury voice.
- May on Pet names
excuse me could my freind in the hoodie could you sit up please? thank you... not to be gendered but we have a older female teacher at our school that calls everyone pumpkin or cupcake, and that works
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Excuse me--- (cool shirt, purple dress, orange socks) you dropped something!
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
"Thank you, friend... appreciate it!"
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Comrade might feel strange but since we are trying to be freindly- why not friend
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
I would go with their first inital and last name
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
CAn i get topSurgery at 15 if I go privately I can’t cope any more I don’t think I can live much longer I’m really struggling I don’t think I’ll make it to the end of the year Any advice please
- Jack on Question: Privately funded top surgery in the UK
coming out is a different journey for everyone, just remember that you are loved by people, even if you have never met them in person. this is not a "rebellion" or a "phase" parents and family in general have a responsibility to their child, at this point in your life you need some support! even if it isn't coming from your family, do you have friends that you could talk to or even live with for a bit if it gets really bad? you need to look after yourself and your wellbeing, I know it sounds kinda cheesy but its true! I have a couple of friends that could take me in and have said that they would take me in if it comes to that and it feels so good, being able to be yourself around friends. so moral of this story of a comment is, protect your wellbeing, get help from friends if you need it and to love who you are becoming! I really hope your family becomes more supportive over time and that you can be yourself around them! all the love in the world to you!
- Alexi on Coming Out
I was just thinking to myself “I know what a gender rebel is, what About a gender pirate?” Googled the term And this post came up!
- Jayne on Gender Pirate
Gc2b for sure only one
- Dakota on Question: Binder for 13 year old
You sure do sound a lot like spam, weird anon!
- Anonymous on Question: Partial transition
Similar to that, one of my nicknames is Minxy (like Minksy), among Minx, Minky and Minxter. :D Although they won't use they/them as I would like them to.
- Mairin on Question: Gender-neutral family names
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- Callum McKerihan on Question: Partial transition
I found Theydy / Theydies / m'Theydy the other day. Afternoon Theydies.!
- Carroll on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
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- BestAlexandra on Men's underwear.
Good post. I'm experiencing some of these issues as well..
- KAT on Beautiful Nowhere
Your style is very unique compared to other folks I have read stuff from. Many thanks for posting when you've got the opportunity, Guess I'll just book mark this blog.
- KATCR on Beautiful Nowhere
I have started calling my significant other Wabbit, Poofball, Bean, and sometimes Pidge (we are both big fans of VLD). They, in return, call me Cutie, Cutie Pie, Baby, and The Amazing One.
- Floofball on Pet names
Hello! I’m 11 and have only told my sibling about wanting a binder. In fact she told me about it because of my ‘situation’. Anyways what binder would you recommend? Me and my sister are trying to find a good one. I just need a website and some tips. If you could help me with that, that would be amazing! P.s Does it work to wear two sport bras at a time to bind? Also my sibling helped me here and there with this.
- Anonymous on Question: Binder for 13 year old
Hey I’m 11 and have only told my sister about wanting a binder. In fact she told me about it because of my ‘situation’. Anyways what binder would you recommend? Me and my sister are trying to find a good one. I just need a website and some tips. If you could help me with that, that would be amazing! P.s Does it work to wear two sport bras at a time to bind? Also my sister helped me here and there with this.
- Anonymous on Question: Binder for 13 year old
Hi it's me, I am also visiting this web page daily, this site is really good and the users are genuinely sharing good thoughts.
- Malorie on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Why not... sibling..?
- Anonymous on Question: Gender-neutral family names
How do I tell my friends that I'm demigirl? I've just always hated dressing up and wearing makeup. When I was little, I didn't mind so much, but now I absolutely hate it! I wear men's clothing sometime when I have to dress up because I hate wearing dresses. But How do I let my friends know about this without making them think I'm just trans?
- Anonymous on Question: If I'm a demigirl am I still a woman?
What a information of un-ambiguity and preserveness of valuable familiarity regarding unpredicted feelings.
- Galen on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Is that Undertale art? It looks really cool! :D
- a nerd on Profile: Kiddo
You really shouldn’t use ace bandages, they will most likely cause many problems such as bruised skin, ribs damaged, and definitely a shortness of breath. Ace bandages could even get rid of your possibility of getting top surgery, if you want that in the future. I would recommend to just wearing two sports bras at a time, it doesn’t make it as flat as a binder but it works and it’s safer than a binder.
- aiden on Question: Binder for 13 year old
I'm now not positive where you are getting your information, but great topic. I needs to spend some time studying more or figuring out more. Thank you for magnificent information I used to be searching for this information for my mission.
- Stephaine on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Regarding a hospital waiting room setting, or anywhere privacy in public is a concern, I'd much rather you use my first name. Never my last name. There are a *LOT* more Dougs in the world than Burchards. Came here looking for a polite way to verbally get someone's attention from a short distance. I think the best answers have been specific to that person's position at the moment. In the army we used to call everyone "soldier" unless you knew their rank. The navy uses "sailor". In scouts we're just using the word "scout" unless we know the person and what they prefer. With respect to Anonymous' high school class, "Gentle" as part of a title (gentleman, gentle woman) is a derivation of the word "gentile", which referred to christians, or more specifically "non-jews", in christian majority countries. So it does carry a religious subtext for some. Not a gender issue, but something I'd consider before using.
- Douglas Burchard on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Ooo, mesmerizing, good word! I'm looking for terms to call my partner and I like that one!
- Kt. on Question: Genderqueer Compliments?
hey, i’m 14 and my mom thinks it’ll affect my growth and i’m tempting to use ace bandages i know it’s not good but i need something for my chest to go down any ideas?
- ash on Question: Binder for 13 year old
Love That. Perfect. Mate it is.
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Sorry I know this thread is old- but I work in hospital registration as a trainer. We just started asking SOGI (sexual orientation and gender identity) questions for patient safety and comfort. We have been told to get away from using Sir/Ma'am/Mr/Mrs. However, when one of my staff has to call someone from the waiting room or address them they are not allowed to use the patient's first name. Just using the last name sounds so robotic and un personal. However, they still need to sound professional. What can we use? Of course once we ask the SOGI questions we do ask their preferred name and how they identify so at that point we can ask how they would like to be addressed. But before that point we aren't sure how to address someone
- Ali on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Please, please, PLEASE, do not pull your chest out sideways. I know it's hard not having a full flat chest but it's supposed to be evenly distributed. Doing what your doing can cause damage, and put future surgery at risk of not being possible.
- Inku on Question: First time buying a binder
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- Anonymous on Question: Can a feminine woman be a dad?
My boyfriend calls me cutie a lot and I very much enjoy that. Babe, baby, cutie, love, etc. It was hard for him to transition out of calling me princess and things like that but he got used to it.
- Mykie on Pet names
I feel the exact same way! Tenorrette is the best lable i have seen for it. One of my main issues with acting the way i feel is that wherever i go there is a HUGE gender divide! And lots of times the guys see me as like some knat, but i dont connect with the girls, exept a freind of mine who has recently told me she’s confused about her identity. Anyway, the “Girls” treat rhe fuys in a specific way and treating anyone else luke that to them is like dipping a toe in bird shit mixed with horse pee, bug guts and dog shit all liquified into a pot that is currently boiling. So all this to say... I want ti figure out how and where i fit in the spectrum witch for whatever teasin is just a bunch of boxes and sub boxes, dor me, if i fit into a box it tends to get filled with holes. Where I proceed to fall out after it colapses. I mean eavan with tenorrette i feel akward with my hips and breasts yet have no issue with any other physical aspects. So that doesnt quite work fir me.
- Anonymous on Question: How to explore my gender identity
"Splendid" is the term Kant uses to describe the convergence of the Beautiful and the Sublime. I think Splendid fits the bill perfectly, probably fabulous does too?
- Anonymous on Question: Compliments
How about Fellow Human, or My Fellow Human.
- Myles on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
I work in customer service with most of my interactions by phone and sometimes in person at the front counter. I try to be gender neutral by asking for their names and using their names to address them. But a few weeks ago I was assisting an individual in person who was upset and frustrated so the customer refused to provide a name. When I attempted to confirm their address by saying "Do you folks still reside at ___?" the customer angrily fired back "ITS MS OR MRS! NOT YOU FOLKS OR Y'ALL!" And she proceeded to demand my supervisor to complain about how I addressed her. So not everyone appreciates gender neutrality.
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
What about "misc" like miscellaneous? It could work as a substitute, it's definition is a mix and being nonbinary I feel a middle ground meaning that people can understand with a simple explaination is suitable. It can fit in most situations, the only drawback I really see is it does sound a little like miss. Although I put a hard c when I pronounce it to make it more noticeable and not overshadowed by the s.
- Anonymous on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Consequently, just-in-case somebody points out for your problems, it kind of activates all kind-of self-defense motion in you.
- Francisca on Genderplayful Marketplace: Let's make it happen!
If you desire to increase your knowledge only keep visiting this web page and be updated with the newest information posted here.
- Kickass Torrents on Beautiful Nowhere
Cute pic I am a male to female I am a geek and I’d love to talk with you oh and nice pic
- Emma on Profile: Lizzie
I am looking for a term too. When I am referred to as Ma'am or Miss by a employee at a store or a restaurant - I'd like to be able to respond with a suggestion that they drop gendered terms and use _______ instead. I identify as female and it isn't that they are using a mismatched term toward me - - I just want to point out that as a customer, my gender is not relevant.
- Jennifer on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Yes I think we need to introduce Mt. as the abbreviation in Aus! Although perhaps at the end of the name to differentiate from mountain... So Smith Mate, Jones Mate etc becomes Smith Mt. when written. Solved!
- Anne on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
Mada is what I use in my writing for gender nuetral parents
- Anonymous on Question: Gender-neutral family names
I agree fully with everything you say, BD. This is a very courageous message which should reach out to all like-minded people. You deserve respect and admiration for having the courage to be the real you. Kindest regards, paultopaula@gmail.com xx
- Paula on Question: Insight into androgynous expression?
I know a very attractive nonbinary person and I struggle with complimenting them. I see "gorgeous", "beautiful", and "cute" and perfect gender-neutral words to describe them, but due to their small stature and tendency to have dysphoria I haven't said any of these. I think stunning would be good because they often say it as a joke, and if I said it seriously it would make for a good moment. The other day I came up with "God did a great job on you", "I think God spent a little extra time on you", etc. Haven't gotten to say that yet but I think it'll go over well as we're both Christian and have a great [fRiEnDsHiP???].
- S on Question: Genderqueer Compliments?
In my case, yes. I was still growing due to anorexia at a young age and I started binding then, so now my breasts are worse than most 40 year old women.. and im 15.
- Anonymous on Question: Binders and Sagging?
Would you want your kid to call you parent though?
- Anonymous on Question: Gender-neutral family names
Hello,nice share.
- iptv app on Question: Patchy Leg Hair
You are so brave and courageous and have my utmost respect. Never ever be afraid to be your true self. xx
- Paula on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
I've been pretty sure I'm a trans guy for the past year or so and nobody at my school knows... recently I got a girlfriend and I really care about her and it didn't feel fair that she doesn't know.... I'm telling her soon and I know she's gonna break up with me...but if I don't tell her now it might hurt even more when she finds out. this is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do... and i realized that this is one of the reasons that people have to know... any advice or tips that could make the situation any less painful? -Bobby
- Anonymous on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
I've just met somebody amazing, although we've only had two dates, I'm seriously fascinated by them. Being a cisgender straight guy, and only having made a couple of trans friends in the past couple of months, I'm woefully ignorant of what terms to use to tell them how much I like them. I got in trouble using the term "girl" while chatting with them, so I feel like I'm having to tread carefully here, last thing I want to do is screw this up. Before we met for our first date, they had told me they were non-binary trans (met on Bumble, so I'd thought they were an extraordinary woman. Now I need to educate myself, any suggestions?
- Mithrandir on Question: Compliments
I can relate to that first part, about identifying with "female" but not "woman." I hate being addressed as "ma'am," "miss," or a "lady" or anything like that, but I'm fine with she/her pronouns. At least as to the last part of your question, I have a suggestion: look for images of "androgynous looks." (go to pinterest.com/RainbowAspie/androgynous-and-unique-looks/androgynous for some examples.) It's a type of in-between look that's supposed to make it so that you can't really tell if someone looks masculine or feminine, based on clothing and hairstyle, among other things. If that isn't what you're looking for, then don't do it, but it could be worth looking into for ideas. I know it has helped me feel better about myself so hopefully it can help someone else but of course everyone's different so do what feels right to you.
- Orian on Question: How to explore my gender identity
I'm not sure being "true to yourself" is the only thing that matters (many apologies if I'm missing your point!!). I'm in a similar situation to Gwen (except I'm bi, so I'm concerned about getting shit for being a fence-sitter). I've only been wrestling with this for a year or so, but I'm not convinced that the benefit to my mental health from coming out would come anywhere near outweighing the harm to my mental health from other people's reactions. I'm middle-aged with a (heterosexual) spouse and kids, and a profession in which presenting as androgynous would have significant costs. Plenty of people transition under those conditions, but I'm lucky enough not to have much if any dysphoria, and... eh? Obviously everyone's experience is different, but I'm just saying I can easily imagine a situation in which staying closeted is the preferable of two suboptimal alternatives.
- Anonymous on Question: Female Genderqueer
Wow, this is exactly what's I needed today. Thanks! ?
- Anonymous on A shoutout
[citation needed] For both anons Seriously, what the fuck
- Akiva on Question: Binders and Sagging?
Actually, it’s proven that massaging you breasts will actually make than bigger
- Anonymous on Question: Binders and Sagging?
Me too. I just read through all these comments. I have been really struggling with this exact exact exact thing and this helped sooo much. I actually literally felt a weight come off my chest like my heart is somehow lighter. It actually brought tears to my eyes. I will definitely identify as female genderqueer from now on. Thank you all so much. (Sorry that was so mushy :) )
- Jasmine on Question: Female Genderqueer
Pushing your boobs around could cause damage to the tissue, don't listen to them? ^^
- Anonymous on Question: Binders and Sagging?
A very courageous profile - one that touches the heart, for it takes great courage to be one's true self in this crazy world. Good luck to you in all you do. Regards, Paula x
- Paula on Profile: Mish
A very courageous profile indeed. Always be perfectly indifferent to public opinion and always be proud to be the person you really are. Regards, Paula.
- Paula on Profile: Q
A beautiful photograph and a fascinating and courageous profile. Well done for having the courage to be your true and very special self.
- PaulPaula on Profile: Lizzie
Hey Anon. That really sucks. If you want your mom to stop saying really rude things than you are probably going to have to talk to her about it. Try and get her to see that things that she says are really hurtful. other than that you can make sure that you have a group of friends that support you entirely. remember, you can cut friends out of your life if they don't support you. GOOD LUCK
- Anna/ ALix on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
Please don't be scared, Perry, but be proud of yourself and whom you are, for you are a truly courageous person.
- PaulPaula on Profile: Perry
You are extremely courageous and have my utmost respect and, I am sure, the respect of everyone here. Never be afraid to be your real self, and be very proud of whom you are. Regards.
- PaulPaula on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
when I'm in customer service situations (as a genderqueer person in a small town) I used to just put in a "m(i)n" (like a cross between man/mam sorta mumbley) where ever I would have used Sir/Mam. I found most people either took it as me saying man, or mam (depending on what they wanted to hear) the only people who ever questioned it were people who wanted it not to be binary. I've recently started using "Hun" (like the first part to honey) because it has the same sort of "southern hospitality" vibe, without making it sound like I'm mumbling all the time. although I find both of these to be a bit too casual for all situations. and often when apologizing or trying to fix a situation will find myself using Sir/Mam again.
- ThumperDae on Question: Alternatives to "Sir" and "ma'am"
bobby, im sorry your mother is like that, im living in a shitty situation myself since I came out, and my community has hatefully acknowledged that im female, which I can deal with. however, my family is trying to force me to be their son....like really? a parent cannot accept their daughter(or in ur case, son) because they simply are unable to understand. I get the same shpiel from my parents all the time, the whole" you don't own dresses" or maybe " you don't wear makeup or dress girly" which I always scoff at because I do dress girly, and even my hair is feminine. however, congradulations on being yourself and doing what many teens have to do, and that is be themselves and harden their hearts to their own family, keep being you, and eventually they will come around but if they don't, no sweat of your back, it isn't a you issue, its a them issue.
- Lilly Garcia on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
First of all, I am honestly so surprised nobody had commented on this profile. Second, I think everything that was said is absolutely amazing and that this is such a beautiful way to look at people in general. It is kind of dissapointing that no matter what, most people in society will treat you differently based on the skin you're in. I really wish that people would know me as somebody that draws strange pictures, or that person who laughs way too much, or literally anything about my personality... but instead everybodu I know describes me based on the differences in how I look from any 'normal' person. There are a lot of people who claim to know me so well, but they won't even know the most basic things about me or want to get to know me. And about unconditional love, it is the greatest thing that you can ever have for anybody.... and I'm not just talking about romantic relationships, I have unconditional love for so many of my family and friends. Sadly, I don't believe that my heart is good enough to have unconditional love for everybody in my life... if I ask myself, will I still love them even if they change or do something that I really won't like, sometimes the answer is, 'hopefully'.... it's one of the things that I have been trying to improve on myself recently. This is because of realized that someone I am close to doesn't have enough unconditional love to accept who I am in terms of gender identity, when they really should love me regardless. Changing the gender I have chosen to identify with in order to better my connection to society doesn't change anything about my soul. In terms of my soul, I will always remain the same... and someone who has unconditional love for me needs to accept and love me regardless of anything. I feel that I have almost unconditional love for many people in my life that have damaged me in the past... and I hope that soon I will be able to understand and forgive them so that I can have that love towards them. I feel like I need to know that they truly love me before I can truly love them. One of the things that I adore about this website is that everyone who contributes to it has such personality. When I read through comments and profiles on this website, I usually don't know what the person looks like because it doesn't matter. We are here to express ourselves, relate to eachother and help one another... and I cant be myself without judgement very much in my life so I'm glad that I have this place to help me figure out who I am and to connect with other people -Bobby
- Anonymous on Profile: Adria
I remember when I first start suspecting that I might be a trans guy, I totally freaked out and kept trying to prove to myself that it was nonsense. I went through a whole girly phase, which included buying dresses by choice for the first time in my life... it only made me feel so much worse.. but I kept thinking that it would be so much easier if I just kept everything a secret...but it wasn't worth how much emoitional pain it put me through. Almost everyone in my everyday life understands that I am not a girl and most people are kinda supportive actually, which was really relieving. My mom really just doesn't get it, she will say that if I would've trans I would've known at a younger age (which is completely untrue), or she'll point out that I still own a dress, or she'll blame it on the internet or one of my friends that just so happens to be LGBT. She would rather find any excuse for what I'm feeling rather than accepting that's just the way I am... but I've made myself stronger and I've chosen to not take offense to the words she says because she just isn't going to understand no matter how much we argue. I am so grateful for the people in my life that have been supportive and I will continue to carry on just the way I am. -Bobby
- Anonymous on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
My mom is constantly telling me that I am wrong about how I feel any time she can possibly bring it up. I am a younger trans guy and she will constantly say rude things out of the blue just to see if it upsets me. I already get enough hate from almost everyone I meet...I only came out to her about a year ago, I'm hoping that she'll come around and support me eventually
- Anonymous on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
Kudos to you for being you....I came out to the public before family. Mtf trans in a Christian home. In 17 and to this day havent done much mote than minor changes to my body and wardrobe. Keep going and being urself Amiga. -Lilly Garcia
- Lilly on Profile: Anastasia
The furby the destroyer is amazing....i love it.
- Lilly on Profile: Jess
I love your post Meghan. Im a 17 trans girl who is open and proud....even when my family only sees me as a stain on their lives. In getting on e when i turn 18 in october and you seem like an amazing girl to talk to. Send me a snap @ ghosclaw if u wanna chat Amiga. All the best -Lilly Garcia
- Lilly on Profile: Megan
People offend in the worst ways.....even family. Trans girl over here.
- Lilly on Profile: Skylar Ariana Marie Lyons
I love the post
- Lilly on Transitioning to be Me!
Also...im transfemlale
- Lilly on Question: Transgender Newbee.
Dont be me....i came out and had to find a job within a month and move out....im back with my dad thanks to my brother but at 17 with 3 months left til im 18....I could have waited....fiscal is a maijor issue with trans so unless ur family is supportive....I'd determine if its worth waiting or not.
- Lilly on Question: Transgender Newbee.
If your parents don't get it....its on them not you. I sincerely hoped nobody else was stuck in positions like this. As a transfemale in a Christian home....well....i get a lot of shit. My mom is the worst...i have had to move out 2 times and at 17 am almost self suficcent and am close to cutting my mom out of my life because she takes every chance she can to shove the whole "trans is sin" nonsense down my throat. But dont let anyone tell u who u aren't. Just be u.
- Lilly on Question: Being Transgender/Doubts and fears
Tbh...i was in third grade when I started to put together that i was transfemale. I couldnt place y but at around that time i started doing rrsearxh and a lot of introspection. In 6th i figured out who I was. I didnt come out until march of 2018. Support is a big deal and a great thing. As has been said in earlier comments...therapy is helpful, and trying things out works well. Dont be afraid to be yourself, whoever that is cause you are always the best you.
- Lilly on Question: Am I Transgender?

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