Question: Gaining Acceptance

David/Rachel asks…

I’ve already come out to my family and friends as androgynous a year ago, but they still don’t accept it. Some even deny it. I’m more sad than angry. What should I do? Should I even do anything?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on January 10th, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: questions 3 comments »

3 Responses to “Question: Gaining Acceptance”

  1. anonymous

    Find out what you want from them in terms of your androgyny (e.g. “I want them to call me Rachel” or “I want them to use gender neutral pronouns when referring to me.”) then communicate with them your needs. Some may not respect your wishes and you’ll have to decide how you want to show your displeasure (put down boundaries with them or continue to remind them of your wishes or whatever else you feel comfortable doing). Good luck with your undertaking; I hope your relatives respect your wishes more after you take action. :-)


  2. JMK

    Be true to yourself. You don’t have to put up with disrespect from your own family.


  3. Chase

    I know it gets really hard, but try to refrain from expressing too much anger towards them.
    I remember one time I got super angry at my family because I didn’t feel that they were respecting my gender identity, so I screamed and yelled terrible things at them and moved out and lived with my mom for about a week. It turned out they weren’t even aware that I ever felt disrespected.
    Make sure you effectively communicate what you want from them, otherwise they will think yr upset for no reason. Most people aren’t used to androgynous/ genderqueer/ transgender people so they say and do a lot of stupid shit that they don’t eve realize, so you can’t really blame them.


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