CJ


Submitted by CJ, model and photographer.

“Post-barbershop selfie”

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Posted by on December 20th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Question: Essentially, I want to know more of what Genderfluid is.


Scarlet asks…

I was born male, and have been since I for 20 years and although I am still young, I have been exposed to thoughts like this at a young age. At the age of seven, not knowing any of this, I was quite comfortable in female attire, as a kid would when playing dress up – though at the time, it seemed a little different to me, it felt strange. Even when I was younger, in kindergarten when we had a dress up day for Halloween, my mother and I had a fight about what I wanted to dress up as, I wanted to be a witch, but she insisted I go as a Native American Indian. I was not at all impressed, I remember not being happy at all for the rest of that day.

Growing up I had experienced a rough patch due to personal issues as to how confused I was sexually, though at the age of ten, I found that I had already categorized myself as a label, without knowing too well of what it meant. So I associated as Gay (Homosexual.) and till this day still saw myself that way.

When I was fourteen, I gathered myself to be the typical flamboyant gay, the stereotype in which most of society and media see homosexuals as. Though the thought had occurred to me when a friend of mine asked if could ever see myself as a girl. I pondered on the thought for a moment till a hesitantly but surely answered no, as I thought at the time I was comfortable with who I am.

At the age of seventeen was when I started to have reoccurring thoughts of myself seen as a woman, even had a friend who started to call me she whilst apologising and forgetting of my standard, current gender. My initial reaction was to say, “Whatever, who cares.” along those lines, yet instead I replied with, “I don’t mind, really it’s okay.” this is when i started to question gender Identity. Sticking to binary confines of society’s way of labelling, I was just known as ‘that gay guy.’ Then the thought occurred, I know that physically I am male, but mentally and psychologically, I am female, it is who I am inside, I can feel it.

Three years onward, I have been struggling, finding myself in the worlds between as I battled with myself on the inside. Twenty years old and I have now only now tried to understand the terms Genderqueer (Which I find to be at this moment.) Bi, Tri and Agendered – but I want to understand more about Genderfluid.
I know I can find myself at two points in the road, and can associate with both female and male aspects of my life, yet I find that I physically do not feel male and instead I find mentally and physically I am at war.
I associate so well to being female, but do not hate some male aspects of myself, such as the genitalia.

I am so confused as to where I might stand and find that expressing my issue to a group my help me on my journey to find myself. I want to make sure I understand all the factors taken in and opinions from others so that I know that my decision is not rushed and or brash.

If anyone could please help me understand this, I am still in the process of learning so much.

Thank you.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on December 20th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Kiss-in


Reposted from Living Out and Proud.

“Protesters gathered to stage a gay kiss-in at a Burger King franchise in Spain Saturday after a same-sex couple was reportedly kicked out of the restaurant for kissing.”

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Posted by on December 19th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

No big deal


Someone wrote…

I like when people “come out” as genderqueer as if it’s no big deal. I like people who think it’s no big deal. Because it really is no big deal. Some kid “came out” to me today (though it was more a passing statement in conversation than it was “coming out”), and she reminded me that I probably don’t need to think it’s such a big deal.

I often get wrapped up in the advocacy and labels and dysphoria, and forget that it’s no big deal to be who or what I am.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 19th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Red


Reposted from Switch Teams.

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Posted by on December 18th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Profile: Little Bear



You can call me… Little Bear

I identify as… A Fun swirly swirl of masculine, feminine, and everything between; bursting with gender; a bad-ass bearded lady; a fuzzy little bear.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I’m not too concerned. They/them is cool, but I’m also fine with she/her. I get he/him once in a blue moon.

I’m attracted to… sardonic wit, social justice warriors (taking that back from people who say that pejoratively), warm expressive eyes, kooky laughs, distinct voices, big hands, emotional vulnerability, dirty grins. I have a right-brain-boner for operatic singing voices.

When people talk about me, I want them to… break out in song. Spoken word can never, ever do me justice.

I want people to understand… – that gender, presentation, and sex are three different things with no obligation to be in some order that makes “sense” to you.
– that living openly & unabashedly is not an attempt to shock, offend, anger, or bait for attention.
– that being kind, gentle, and optimistic takes a lot more courage than being hard, angry, and bitter.
– that love heals everything. hate heals nothing.

About Little Bear
Little Bear is a composer, chanteuse, artist, editor, & performing bearded lady with the sideshow the Wreckless Freeks in Seattle, WA. They’re openly polyamorous with a wonderful boyfriend & girlfriend, devoutly Pagan, queer, feminist, and pansexual. They love cooking with lots of butter and bacon. They love opera, cats, tattoos, and autumn. They cry a lot and just have a lot of feels, dammit!

» Define yourself. «


Posted by on December 18th, 2014 at 08:00 am

profiles | 2 comments »

What the wind carries.


Reposted from House of Alexzander.

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Posted by on December 17th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

The world is not easy


Liz wrote…

I don’t really know what to do now that I’ve come to this revelation.

I’ve been sitting in my room all day, drinking hot chocolate, and cataloging old memories…

I remember the first time my mother let me pick out my clothes at the store. I was eight years old, and my little nimble fingers with their pink nails quickly latched on to the brown t-shirt with the little skateboards on it. I went home with a pleated skirt and a lace covered top.

I remember when I was nine, and before a shower I would spend hours in the bathroom contorting my hair to short boy cut lengths so that I could feel better about myself. When I was eleven and early on set puberty made my chest begin to swell, I would wear tight undershirts to flatten myself out. When I was twelve and the boys I played with at recess told me that I was no longer one of their own…

I realized that the world was not easy.

I began wearing tight sports bras to flatten out my chest and hide my feminine curves. I lowered my voice. I entered into sports and spent most of my time alone because no one in my small southern town understood why this preacher’s daughter acted the way she did.

My mother and I fought at every turn. The most vivid memory I have of this time in my life was when I was ten, and cast as a male god in a greek play for my advanced elementary class. I hadn’t even requested the part; the role was complex and my teacher knew I was the only one who would be able to memorize it in time for the performance. My mother was furious, and tried to get me to wear a crown and necklace combo of flowers that she had made her self.

When I refused and declared that “manly gods do not wear flowers in this play”, she slapped me, called me a defamatory name for lesbian, and ran out of the room. I overheard her screaming at my father in the hallway that something was wrong with me, and that if I wanted to be a man, then she could not be my mother.

I fought her until I was fifteen. On the day that I gave up, I’d come home from the mall with new shorts, the long and baggy kind. She burned them in the backyard. While I was crying, she gave me an ultimatum: if I didn’t stop this “pretending to be a boy crap” I’d be shipped off to a christian boarding school the next semester. So, I decided to bury whatever I felt that made me not want to be like the girls around me, and be as feminine as my mother wanted me to be.

I let my mother buy me dresses. I wore pink. I quit a few of my sports team. I made my voice a little higher. I started dating guys. I painted my nails glittery colors. I learned the art of makeup and how to sculpt my face into whatever my mood of the day required. Some days, I even enjoyed the feminine thrill of lace and flowers, and others, it just felt.. wrong. But I still did it for the sake of peace and safety.

These memories are not ones that I visit often. They’ve only been brought to the surface by the words of one of my dear friends. They came by my room last week to talk to me about what they called a, “gender crisis.” They started to tell me their story, and they didn’t get very far into it until I realized how my own story mirrored their own.

I didn’t mention my own struggles, but I did hug and love and cry with them. They left with a smile and quick kiss on my cheek and a, “thank you for accepting and respecting me,” and then I was left with my own thoughts.

I realized, that even though I’m in college and far away from the home that repressed me, I still don’t express myself in the ways that I always naturally wanted to do. I feel as if I’ve conditioned myself in order to survive, and now I struggle to be true to who I am. I’d say that most days I feel comfortable with the way I outwardly express myself. However, there are some days, many times when I’m forced to “dress up” for a formal event, that I feel… wrong, having to slip into a dress that on some days I think is wonderful, but on some days looks odd, awkward, and wrong hanging off of my shoulders.

I feel as if I should do something, but I’m not sure what. I feel as if I should say something to the world around me, but I’m not sure how. I feel as if I want to be something else, but I’m not even sure I understand why.

It’s times like these I understand once again that the world is not easy.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 17th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Whiskers


Reposted from Pirateelf on Instagram.

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Posted by on December 16th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Multilingual Gender Neutral Pronouns


scarlet recommends…

 

??? / ????? / ??/???/?????/?? / ? / ? / ??? / ??? / oni/je/jejich/se / hen/hun / per/pers / vij/zaar / they/them/theirs / ze/zem/zeirs / xe/xem/xeirs (xyr) / hir/hirs/hirself / e/em/eir / ri / ?li / tema/teda/tema / ta/teda/tema / ?? / se/sen / hän/hänen / ol/mo / ille / eux / iel / ?? / ???? / ???? / ???@/?????@/???@? / ?? / ???????? / ?/?k / hín/hín/híni/híns / hé/hé/hé/hés / hán/hán/háni/háns / isuna / na / kaniana/kenkuana / isuda / da / kaniada/kadakuwada / dia / mereka / tú/siad / j?s/j?s?/jums/jus/jumis/jumyse / dia / wiya / dem/dem/deres / hen/hen(henom)/hens(henoms) / hin/hin/hins / sir/sir/sirs / el@/del@ / elx/delx / elæ/delæ / ??/?? / ?? / ??/??/??/??/??/??x / oni/nich/im/ich/nimi / oni/z njimi/njim / Elle/le/-e / de/dem (dom)/deras / hen/hen/hens / siya/sila / niya/nila / (sa) kanya/(sa) kanila / o/onlar / nhw/nhw/eu

It’s just a really useful resource, and much needed.

» Recommend something. «


Posted by on December 16th, 2014 at 08:00 am

articles, recommendations | Comment »

Diptych in Yellow


Reposted from Johanna Willemijn Lammers on flickr.

“casually posing and texting my mom in the kitchen”

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Posted by on December 15th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

A self made man


Ash wrote…

I am a trans man who is accepting of all gender identities and expressions. However, sometimes I feel like I am being unintentionally misogynistic because I do identify as male and enjoy the “traditionally” male aspects of presentation. I’ll wind myself up until I’m in tears because I feel like my identity and expression puts off a hypocritical vibe, since I’m not comfortable with looking “femme” myself. I do what is comfortable for me, but I feel like I’m still enforcing gender essentialism.

Any other guys have this problem?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 15th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Just sitting by some bikes


Reposted from Switch Teams.

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Posted by on December 14th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Question: sex, sex education, relationships


hilite asks…

Hi. I am 29 and have been in a monogamous relationship for nearly 10 years. Prior to that I was closeted and had basically no exposure to GSMs (Gender and/or Sexuality Minority) or life as a GSM. I literally had no sex education thanks to my Christian high school in Texas and once in my relationship we just figured things out.

However, things have become complex now. And among the things I need, is some basic sex education that is gender inclusive and queer friendly. Scarleteen is great but I’m married and older and I want a comprehensive sex education, not just a topical one (don’t get me wrong, I love what Scarleteen does – I just need something different).

Dan Savage talks about being “good” at sex, I’d like to learn about that. I’d also like more information about orgasms and other types of pleasure.

And in long tern relationships how do ask for what we want sexually in appropriate, reasonable and effective ways…and what can expect in navigating that conversation?

To what extent is it “ok” to do things outside of your comfort zone in order to meet a partners needs?

Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you in advance.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on December 14th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Trans*march Berlin 2014


Reposted from Franziska Neumeister on Flickr.

“Together for: more visibility, solidarity, self definition, respect, community accountability, free
gender choice,…”

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Posted by on December 13th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Something missing


Someone wrote…

I’m a girl, and one which society would view as a “typical” (not my favourite choice of word) one. I like wearing pretty clothes, having my hair long, wearing make-up, etc. However, even more than that I have this burning wish to be a man.

To make this more complicated, I wish to be a man because I would LOVE to be a female drag-act, or something similar. I love the male voice, the possible fluctuation between male and female body, the confidence and sparkle that they may have. I also like dressing as a “typical” man, but as a short, curvy woman I can’t pull it off very well, and this irritates me. I’ve tried sparkle, deepening my voice, wigs… but it feels like I’m a fake, and I’ll never truly hit what I want. Yet, equally, I’ve accepted being a woman and I mostly like the way I am. For example, my friend is a female to male trans person, and I know that I’m not the same.

It’s very confusing and annoying if I think about it too much, and I tend to think about it a lot. I know it sounds like a joke, but it genuinely feels like something is missing. Anyone else have a similar story?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 13th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Bricks


Reposted from The Dapper Crow.

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Posted by on December 12th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Hello! Address me as….


A handy sticker that tells the world your name and pronouns. Comes in five varieties: he/him/his, she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, xe/xem/xyrs, and ze/hir/hirs! Whether being used when meeting new people or as a gentle reminder to old friends, this sticker uses a familiar format to communicate the information quickly and easily.

Name stickers by Non-Newtonian Gender Fluid.

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Posted by on December 12th, 2014 at 08:00 am

photos | 1 comment »

Blue dress blowing


Reposted from Pinterest

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Posted by on December 11th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

Gives Me Hope


Someone wrote…

I’m a male-to-female transsexual girl going through transition at the moment.

I often feel that I look too much like a boy, which depresses me.

One day in line for the register, while dressed very boyishly, an older man with a full cart turned to me.

He asked; “Would you like to go ahead of me, young lady?”

You GMH, kind sir.

Thank you so much!

Shared from LGBTQ* gives me hope.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 11th, 2014 at 12:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

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