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Frequently Asked Questions
Someone wrote…
My body feels like a beautiful dress that belongs to someone else and doesn’t fit me. I want it because it’s pretty but I hate it because it’s not mine. I’m more confused than I’ve ever been.
What’s your experience?
A reader recommends…
This is a fashion site about queering “men’s” fashion. There are videos and columns about tying ties, buttoning buttons, doing hair…there are maps showing you where to find things, that you can add to. DapperQ is about opening up “men’s” fashion to multiple identities, so it isn’t just about passing either. Its about filling the void… the “dearth of information for those of us simply dressing to fight the good fight each day.”
Sam , originally uploaded by Rosemarie Smith Hair Design.
“Skin Deep” submitted by Jae, the model and photographer
Jae writes: “the name of a boy is written on the face, but can society understand why? can others not stare? can people understand the feeling?”
Someone wrote…
I wish people would stop referring to unknown persons as “he or she” like it’s inclusive.
What’s your experience?
Hmmm, originally uploaded by musicmonster.
You can call me… if you like… but you better ask for Adelaide, Adele, Ally or Alien.
I identify as… a gender terrorist or pirate, transdyke
As far as third-person pronouns go, … I think she is okay as long as it isn’t loaded. Zi too.
I’m attracted to… women of any gender origin, a kind of lesbian without bio discriminations.
When people talk about me, I want them to… think about the natural disadvantages trans people go through, especially regarding sexual expectations, even in the queer groups I’ve been in, we never really talked about sexuality for trans people
I want people to understand… that I’m a human being, more likely than the atomic bomb, (since there have been fewer of those) but people are less prepared, maybe a few less obstacles.
About Adelaide
I want to create safe spaces for trans people, especially those transitioning, because the institutions and the whole think is completely unfair, so I have set up a blogging space and a magazine online, which I hope to put into print based on submissions from people who like the site and feel they want to contribute. Its just getting started though. Against gender terror at milishamagazine.com.
» Define yourself. «
Few surviving cultures recognize property inheritance as the birthright of women. The matrilineal Na/Mousu in Yunnan and Sichuan, China stand as proof of the diverse ways gender roles have been defined around the globe & throughout time.
My hips do lie, originally uploaded by LoudSwallowing.
The photographer writes, “i have these lines on my hips like a guy, I don’t mind them.”
Someone wrote…
In searching for a mate/friend/partner/lover/co-conspirator, I will need a category titled “genderqueer4genderqueer.” GQ4GQ.
What’s your experience?
A reader recommends…
“Australia may have made gender history this week, as the New South Wales government lays claim to being the first in the world to recognize an individual’s sex as officially ‘not specified.’”
Joel asks…
Being a young transman, I have a lot of trouble getting a date. I’m attracted to straight women and any girl who knows me from my past only sees me as female. Even with strangers, I only pass as male one-third of the time. How can I let girls know I’m interested and not just another “girl” looking for friendship?
Please post your response in the comments below.
» Ask Genderfork «
Kelly – Snake of Eden – Sunset Blvd – Lomo, originally uploaded by daryldarko.
You can call me… Joey or Joseph
I identify as… male. The degree of masculinity varies by situation and mood, but I identify as male 90% of the time; the other 10% is androgenous.
As far as a label goes, I guess I’m a transgender/sexual or genderqueer. But really I’m just Joey, babe.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … him/his/he are my favorites but I accept also accept the use of their/them. I love when my partner(s) call me boyfriend.
I’m attracted to… genderbenders, men/women/both/other/neither, dominating black ladies with shapely bums.
When people talk about me, I want them to… respect my gender ‘choice’ even if they don’t agree or understand.
I want people to understand… a little effort goes a long way with me.
About Joey or Joseph
Joey is currently a junior in high school, but cannot wait to graduate and explore the world and himself. He and his partner are working to raise radical queer awareness and action in the Memphis area. Joey is a painter and plays the flute with debatable skill.
» Define yourself. «
alaina recommends…
This is a re-creation of something that happened to a friend. The movie doesn’t give much backstory, so here is a little more: she identifies as a butch lesbian woman, but when she went to the hospital after some severe depression and suicide threats, they found what they perceived as her problem with gender (and her boxers) more interesting.
submitted by Juli, the model and photographer
Someone wrote…
What do I know? I don’t even know what gender I am anymore… but I’m learning to be okay with not knowing.
What’s your experience?
“Bound Yonder” submitted by Yondergen, the model and photographer
JAKE – umbrella tests, originally uploaded by Jacob Tekiela.
Jess asks…
How do you deal with ignorant or disrespectful comments at work? I’m a K-6 substitute teacher, and while I dress professionally, my genderqueerness isn’t something I can completely “tone down.” I get a lot of questions from kids (and occasionally staff) that are sometimes out of genuine curiosity, and sometimes just plain disrespectful. I’d like to assertively educate kids without getting a ton of angry phone calls or letters from parents. But how do I do this? I want to educate but not get into a lecture on human sexuality with a bunch of 11 year olds.
Some of my favorites:
“Look, that’s a LESBIAN! Right here in our school, I guess they do exist!”
“Are you a he or a she?”
“That’s a butch. They hate boys.”
Please post your response in the comments below.
» Ask Genderfork «
