Category: your voice


Some days


Someone wrote…

I’m pretty much okay with how my body is physically (to put it bluntly I like having a vagina and a bit of boob) but I feel like mentally I’m detached from my body and my mental gender can fluctuate.

I look at myself and I can see myself as feminine or masculine or androgynous and I like it that way. I wouldn’t mind being referred to by any pronoun. Some days I feel more masculine or feminine or somewhere in the middle and present accordingly.

Given all this I think I am genderfluid but I have heard a lot of people say you can’t be trans without dysphoria and I don’t have dysphoria. I do experience gender euphoria though which I just learned is a thing. I don’t like being called a girl or a woman but it’s just a mild discomfort.

I am just looking for some validation really. I’m confused and don’t know if it’s okay for me to feel this way. Am I just a cis girl with internalized misogyny? I don’t like feeling limited.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 30th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Hey, Call Me Riley!


Riley Alexandr wrote…

To the tune of “Tell Her About It” by Billy Joel

Listen up
‘Cause there’s one quick thing
It’s been weighing on my mind
I was gonna wait
But it’d be too late
Though I’ve got time on my side

I’m a loving friend
And a real great listener, too
But today is when
The listener is you

Oh, listen up
I’m sure that you think
You know exactly what to say
You don’t want some kid correcting you
But there’s a will so there’s a way

You might think you know me
‘Cause you see me every day
But that’s one more reason why I’ve gotta say…

CHORUS:
Hey, call me Riley
I’m a guy and I’m a girl
There’s a spectrum labelled gender
Wouldn’t trade it for the world

Hey, call me Riley
‘Cause I’m genderfluid, see
If you could, just call me Riley
That would mean so much to me

Listen up
‘Cause dysphoria sucks
And I’m not asking a lot
Just one simple thing
That would help me out
Considering what all I got

When I try to pass
I’m hella insecure
But to start off there’s one thing that helps for sure…

CHORUS:
Hey, call me Riley
It’s a way to show you care
When you see me walking
Say, “Hey, Riley!” and I’m there

Hey call me Riley
It’s a name that you should use
When in need of my attention
That’s the name that you should choose

Cause now and then
I’ll get to worrying
And I’ll start to feel this hopelessness inside
Though you may not have done anything
Is that helping me or telling me to hide?

Listen up
‘Cause it’s hard to be myself with no respect
If we’re friends at all
Then it’s not too tall
Of an order to expect

That you call me by
The name that I told you
So the next time we meet up
Here’s what you do:

(chorus x2)

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 28th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Who I am


Someone wrote…

I want to be accepted for who I am, not who I am supposed to be.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 26th, 2015 at 09:56 pm

your voice | Comment »

You’re Dressing as You


Someone wrote…

Clothing does NOT – I repeat NOT – make the gender.

My boyfriend reminded me of this a few weeks back, when I didn’t want to wear a bracelet he got me. I wanted to wear it, honestly, but it was too girly for my identity. (I’m trans, ftm by the way. He didn’t know when he got me the bracelet.) I told him this as gently as I could.

He countered with, “If I prove that this bracelet won’t make you less of a man, would you wear it?” I told him yes.

He then proceeded to wear the bracelet around school (with a short sleeved shirt), and when anyone questioned it, he said, “I’m sorry you think men can’t wear bracelets. You must lead a boring life. I’m a man wearing a bracelet, and I feel no insecurity whatsoever. Still a man.” Gradually, he talked to almost every guy in the school.

The next week, guys started wearing bracelets to school. It was just a few at first, but then it turned into more and more, till almost everyone wore a bracelet. My boyfriend even took pictures and showed them to me. In one picture, one guy held a sign reading “#StillAMan”.

I wear the bracelet every day now, and it reminds me how much I love him, and it also reminds me that clothing does not make the gender. I can wear this bracelet wherever and whenever I want, and I am #StillAMan.

Clothing does NOT – I repeat NOT – make the gender. You can wear a bracelet or makeup or a dress and still be a man. For my trans sisters out there, you can wear pants and a hoodie and sneakers and still be a woman. Heck, wear whatever y’all wanna wear. You’re not dressing “as a woman” or “as a man”. You’re dressing as YOU.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 24th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Six Years


Someone wrote…

I came out to my mother as non-binary after six years of knowing. Halfway through telling her, she said “it’s totally fine, but this is confusing” and left. I admit I’m a little hurt that she didn’t even try to understand the concept of more than two genders when it applies to her child.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 22nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Feel More Complete


Someone wrote…

Up until now I though I was just female, but with people starting to be so open on the internet and on TV about LGBTQI+ issues I started to discover that there are more than just two genders. I guess I was sort of aware but now that I began to really think about it, I feel like I’m gender-queer!

It’s so weird and confusing but, also, really amazing because now everything makes so much sense. I am female bodied and it has always felt right, but I was never the girly-girl, or the ultimate tomboy – I liked certain “girl” things and certain “boy” things. I always felt sort of in-between and nowhere all at once. But now I have found a name for it and people I can relate to but, most of all, I feel more complete.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 12th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Days


Someone wrote…

There are days that I think I just want to give up and be ‘normal’ and then I realize that I don’t know how to ‘be a girl’ and I never did.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 8th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

How to Express


Someone wrote…

I’ve struggled with my assigned gender for the last two years. I’ve tried cutting my hair short, wearing more masculine clothes and copying body language. I’ve realised that I’m still not happy and I still have dysphoria.

The problem is I don’t know how to express what I feel inside on the outside. The truth is I like the nowadays norms of what femininity is supposed to look like but not how its supposed to act like. So I feel androgynous inside but I don’t like short hair or leg hair and I hate how male clothing is boring and uncreative. I want to try contouring make up to make my facial structure look more ‘manish’ while being quite feminine in appearance.

Hopefully that will satisfy me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 6th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Finding my Place


Someone wrote…

I’m genderfluid, moving from being neutrois almost all of the time, to every now and then male/female. There’s no pattern to the changes. No rhyme or reason to my gender expression. My sexual orientation is difficult to explain without saying pansexual (which I’m not).

I haven’t met anyone like myself before, and so many people on the net seem so much more ‘stable’ in their fluidity than me. Trying to find my place amongst the binary, non-binary, or sometimes in the LGBTQ community, seems so hard. I just don’t fit in a category. And if I every did, I wouldn’t be in it for very long.

I can’t be alone in this, can I?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 4th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

I Just Want to be Me


Someone wrote…

I may be genderqueer, but I’m still not sure. I was born female, but every time I say “I’m a girl” I feel almost like giggling, as though I’m saying a lie, and often I feel completely comfortable saying “I’m a guy”.

One of my friends was recently very rude to me and told me I should be dressing more feminine, and she and her girlfriend actually laughed about the subject of more existing genders other than male and female, which made me die a little inside, so I never told them about my doubts. I just wish I could be me, I feel pushed into a little box labeled “girl” and I just don’t wanna be there.

I just want to be ME.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 2nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Freaky Friday


Someone wrote…

I am genderfluid and often feel dysphoric because I appear very female: high voice, hourglass figure (or so I’ve been told), and an unnecessarily-large chest.

My friend, however, is a cisgender female yet appears very gender neutral: low voice, slim hips, and a small, flat chest. She complains about her body, wishing she had mine, while I complain about my body, wishing I had hers.

We joke about the movie “Freaky Friday,” because if that happened, we would never want to go back.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 30th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Good Enough


Someone wrote…

I am a male/neutral-identified, female-bodied person and that should be good enough.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 28th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

You. Have. Options.


Someone wrote…

Being genderfluid is…difficult. You have to constantly explain it, and you have to pass perfectly so people know you’re not just a tomboy or tomgirl. There’s a lot of pressure to prove that you’re legit.
But you also get a lot of freedom, I guess. You don’t feel like a guy today? Cool, you have other options. Maybe you’re a chick. Maybe both. Maybe neither. Who knows? You. Have. Options.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 26th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Ferret


Someone wrote…

My gender/orientation is like a ferret: all over the place, not caring if it’s “normal,” and somewhat threatening when people don’t understand it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 24th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Don’t Know What Gender I will be When I Wake up


Someone wrote…

I don’t know what gender I will be when I wake up.

I don’t know if I am okay with my penis today, if I want to ignore it, if I wish that I had no genitals at all or that I could have a vagina.

I don’t know if I will freeze inside when somebody calls me “sir” or can just accept it.

I don’t know if I can enter a restroom and just pick the male door or if I have to stand there and convince myself that I should really pick the mens door because I would be socially awkward if I didn’t.

I don’t know if I can just wear what I feel like or if I am just wearing something to pass and not attract too much attention and hate it every minute.

I don’t know if I can live through the day and just pass as a man without hating myself.

I know that people can’t see me. They see what they understand and they wouldn’t understand me. I don’t even understand myself.
And all I can think is will I ever be looked at again and feel that someone gets me. Like they understand me and they like me for who I am. or even love me for who I am.

Seems so far away.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 22nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Silent Reassurance


Someone wrote…

I’m genderfluid, born female, and I have very bad luck. Once, for the entire week of having my period, I identified as male. I cried almost every night, just out of sheer frustration and dysphoria, and I had to remind myself that men can have vaginas, too.

“Besides,” I silently reassured myself, “One thing about periods is that they temporarily boost your levels of testosterone, so technically I’m even MORE of a man.”

It helped. A little. But the dysphoria didn’t vanish for quite some time…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 20th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Starting Points


Someone wrote…

I recently discovered a celebrity whose work I really enjoy, and she happens to be trans. Empowered by this celebrity’s self-acceptance and LGBT pride, I later came out to my family as gender-fluid. It didn’t go well. My mom rejected my identity and told me I was “just too obsessed” with the aforementioned celebrity.

People need to learn the difference between obsessively absorbing someone’s identity and having a starting point for finding YOUR OWN identity…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 18th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Red Hair Dye


Someone wrote…

A friend of mine, who is trans female, told me about her medical transition:

“It’s a bit like dyeing your hair red,” Marcella explained. “You have to constantly keep up with it; it racks up one hell of a maintenance bill; only assholes point out if you obviously just started; and while there are certain things that this process alone won’t give you, you still look in the mirror and go ‘Damn I look fiiiiiine!’ “

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 16th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Supportive Families


Someone wrote…

One of my absolute favourite things in the world is hearing about trans kids in supportive families. It makes me very happy, knowing that people can be themselves out in the open. I guess I’m also a bit jealous, too, since their families are more supportive than mine will ever be…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 14th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Think I Might be Genderfluid


Someone wrote…

I think I might be genderfluid. I’m a female from birth, but my whole life, people have always thought that I’m a boy. I usually laugh it off when people misgender me, but in truth, I don’t know how to feel about that, especially since I’ve deliberately grown my hair out and started wearing skirts so people assume I’m a female. People have thought I was a boy upon meeting me when I had makeup on and my hair in pigtails, because of my face.

I sometimes think I should let my masculinity show, because people already think I’m a guy, but I’m scared, and I’m not sure what I’m scared of.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 12th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Back to top