Category: your voice


Utterly Floored


Finn wrote…

I am basing my whole career path of the study of how gender is lived in the world, but sometimes I think about the concept of “gender” and am utterly floored by how little it makes sense to me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 21st, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I’m Just a Person to Myself


Someone wrote…

I’m just a person to myself, but other people see me as female. When that happens enough I start feeling like I’m trapped in that box of what other people think being female is, and I start feeling icky all over.

I don’t think *being* female is icky, at all! But it’s not a thing that works for me, and I wish I could ask for it to stop happening, but I’m honestly not sure that most people are able to respond to other people without perceiving/assuming gender.

I would really like for people to not assume either that I’m female or that I’m all the things that are expected to go along with being female. Gender feels like an external thing that’s placed on me without my consent.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 19th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Thinking


Someone wrote…

I’ve been thinking about Testosterone a lot more these days. I really want to be perceived as male, even if my true gender is somewhere in the middle. The consequences of starting a physical transition scare me so much!

Any advice on how to get past the fear of people judging and having those dreaded conversations?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 17th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Beyond that


Someone wrote…

I don’t know what to think about myself. I’m ace and aro, but beyond that, I don’t know. I’m trying to present myself as agender, but I’m just not sure that will ever work out for me. If I wore loose clothing, no one would be able to tell what gender I was. I don’t know. I’m confused.

Some days, I wish there was no such thing as genders. That would make life a bit easier.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 15th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

HRT


Someone wrote…

I can’t wait for the day I start HRT…*sighs*

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 13th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

It Feels Brilliant.


Someone wrote…

I’ve just bought my first binder and it’s amazing! I’m not going to wear it all of the time – because I am Genderqueer, I don’t feel the need to present with a flat chest all of the time but at some certain points I really desperately want to – and now I can. Never be afraid to express your gender in any way that makes you happy – I wish I’d had the confidence to get my binder sooner! Now I’m enhancing my gender presentation as a Genderqueer/female-identified person and it feels brilliant :)

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 11th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

The Middle of the Gender Spectrum


Someone wrote…

Throughout my life I’ve felt agender. Androgynous. But over the past 5 years, I’ve begun to consider myself masculine of center/trans*.
I dress in male clothing, I like to be perceived as male, and I go by male pronouns. Lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m still in the middle of the gender spectrum. I’ve been envying male bodies and wish I could have certain characteristics for myself. The thing about transitioning is that it’s simultaneously terrifying and fascinating to me at the same time. The changes are permanent. I only want some of the changes that testosterone brings, but I cannot pick and choose the traits I develop if I do start T.

Can anyone who has been living in the middle of the gender spectrum relate? I want masculine traits when I want them, but not all the time. The days when I feel more masculine are when I feel dysmorphia. Most other days I’m fine. Any advice or stories?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 9th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

I Want to be Neutral Again


Someone wrote…

When I was a kid, I looked pretty gender-neutral. I wanted to climb trees and hang out with boys, but I was just “an ugly girl,” so I hung out with my two other “ugly girl” friends. I wanted to be pretty, so I could hang out with the other 19 kids in my class, too, but no.

Nowadays, I look very much like a girl. I have strong hip game, I’m short, I have pretty red hair, and I sing mezzo-soprano. I still don’t hang out with the “normal” people, since those I know are stupid, assholes, or both. I still have my friends. But now I want to cut all my long hair off. I want to be tall. I want to sing baritone. I want to be genderfluid and pass as male without the anxiety of bathrooms and binders.

Nowadays, it’s so painfully obvious I’m a girl. I can’t go to the right bathroom without getting yelled at and chased out. I get weird looks in the locker room, since I sewed my binder myself. I got catcalled the other day! I was wearing my baggiest Tshirt and jeans!

I don’t want to look so strongly female. I want to be neutral again..

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 7th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Want That to Change


Someone wrote…

I want to live in a world where it is socially acceptable to ask someone “What is your gender/pronouns/preferences”. Personally, I love it when someone questions my gender, pronouns, sexuality, etc. It feels so much better hearing “What are you” than it is hearing “Oh wow I thought you were *blank*”. So many people just assume what others are… It’s sad. I want that to change.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 5th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

A Definitive Answer


Someone wrote…

I’ve just gotten into the LGBTQ community as an asexual, and recently I’ve been reading up on gender identities even more so. I think I’m cis, but at this point, I just don’t know.

More often than not I have this really strong urge to present as a genderless person. I want to look androgynous. At the same time, I also have days where I really wanna look like a dude, and then other days still where I really wanna look like a girl. But I don’t experience “dysphoria” and being referred to with female pronouns (the pronouns I was assigned at birth) doesn’t make me feel bad, and all the terminology of nonbinary genders are just making me confused as to whether I’m actually trans or if it’s just a fashion thing that I want to look like different things.

I just want a definitive answer that I’m definitely trans or I’m definitely cis, and it’s pretty clear that I’m probably not going to get that for at least a long while.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 3rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 4 comments »

Societal Norms


Someone wrote…

I’m 15 (nearly 16, less than 2 months to go), and about 3 months ago I was hit with the sudden realization that I’d be happier if I stopped trying so hard to fit societal ‘girl’ norms. I got my hair cut within a week, and was pleased that there were so many accepting people in my personal life and at home.

So much depression and anxiety lifted like you wouldn’t believe! I never considered that a deep-seated dissatisfaction with my gender could have been the root of the misery I had suffered for years. Over the past few months I’ve started wearing more neutral clothes and such, because it made me feel better.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 1st, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Filling in Forms


Reposted from @angryqueerloser via Twitter…

cons of being genderqueer: filling. in. forms.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 29th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Educating Myself


Someone wrote…

I’m a cis male and a couple of my friends came out about a year ago, one as a trans male and the other as non-binary. I’ve talked to them about it and read a lot about transgender stuff, and I’m finding it so liberating to have my casual preconceptions about gender demolished.

I’ve always accepted trans people, but I hadn’t made an effort to understand transgender issues until recently. Educating myself about trans stuff has made me more sensitive to the problems trans people encounter and the concerns they have, and it’s made me happier too.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 27th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Living in the Middle


Someone wrote…

Throughout my life I’ve felt agender. Androgynous. But over the past 5 years, I’ve begun to consider myself masculine of center/trans* I dress in male clothing, I like to be perceived as male, and I go by male pronouns.

Lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m still in the middle of the gender spectrum. I’ve been envying male bodies and wish I could have certain characteristics for myself. The thing about transitioning is that it’s simultaneously terrifying and fascinating to me at the same time. The changes are permanent. I only want some of the changes that testosterone brings, but I cannot pick and choose the traits I develop if I do start T.

Can anyone who has been living in the middle of the gender spectrum relate? I want masculine traits when I want them, but not all the time. The days when I feel more masculine are when I feel dysmorphia. Most other days I’m fine. Any advice or stories?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 25th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 3 comments »

That Feeling


Someone wrote…

That feeling you get when you realise you’ve fallen completely out of touch with a couple of people who used to be close to you, and immediately hope you don’t suddenly run into them because your gender identity has shifted at least twice since you last saw them and you wouldn’t like to spring that on them from out of the blue because they were so supportive of that one identity you used to have.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 23rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Both/And


@1000blackbirds (via Twitter) wrote…

Dear Everybody: could we stop insisting that gender is always an either/or when sometimes it’s a both/and? #queer #genderqueer

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 19th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Your Pronouns


Someone wrote…

That feeling when you find *your* pronouns and you *know* those are your pronouns because it feels so perfect every time someone uses it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 17th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Blend in


Someone wrote…

I want to blend in. I don’t want to draw attention to myself by labelling myself or having to “come out” to people as un-gendered. Being called “he” hurts, though. It feels like I’m being forced into something I’m not.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 15th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Intersections


Laverne Cox (via Twitter) wrote…

Feeling so much love today for those at the intersections of multiple identities, #poc, #queerPOC, #twoc, #tmoc, #genderqueer, #intersex…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 13th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Their Perceptions Don’t fit What I Feel Inside


Someone wrote…

I have been feeling confused about how gender identification is possible if gender equality is supposed to be a thing. Sometimes I identify with stereotypically male thoughts/activities, sometimes with stereotypically female ones. But the problem is that these are all stereotypical, so how can I identify with either?

Solutions proposed to me have been to not think about gender, or to go with my biological sex. Neither feel good since people still perceive me a certain way and their perceptions don’t fit what I feel inside.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 11th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

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