Category: your voice


Educating Myself


Someone wrote…

I’m a cis male and a couple of my friends came out about a year ago, one as a trans male and the other as non-binary. I’ve talked to them about it and read a lot about transgender stuff, and I’m finding it so liberating to have my casual preconceptions about gender demolished.

I’ve always accepted trans people, but I hadn’t made an effort to understand transgender issues until recently. Educating myself about trans stuff has made me more sensitive to the problems trans people encounter and the concerns they have, and it’s made me happier too.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 27th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Living in the Middle


Someone wrote…

Throughout my life I’ve felt agender. Androgynous. But over the past 5 years, I’ve begun to consider myself masculine of center/trans* I dress in male clothing, I like to be perceived as male, and I go by male pronouns.

Lately I’ve been questioning whether I’m still in the middle of the gender spectrum. I’ve been envying male bodies and wish I could have certain characteristics for myself. The thing about transitioning is that it’s simultaneously terrifying and fascinating to me at the same time. The changes are permanent. I only want some of the changes that testosterone brings, but I cannot pick and choose the traits I develop if I do start T.

Can anyone who has been living in the middle of the gender spectrum relate? I want masculine traits when I want them, but not all the time. The days when I feel more masculine are when I feel dysmorphia. Most other days I’m fine. Any advice or stories?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 25th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 3 comments »

That Feeling


Someone wrote…

That feeling you get when you realise you’ve fallen completely out of touch with a couple of people who used to be close to you, and immediately hope you don’t suddenly run into them because your gender identity has shifted at least twice since you last saw them and you wouldn’t like to spring that on them from out of the blue because they were so supportive of that one identity you used to have.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 23rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Both/And


@1000blackbirds (via Twitter) wrote…

Dear Everybody: could we stop insisting that gender is always an either/or when sometimes it’s a both/and? #queer #genderqueer

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 19th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Your Pronouns


Someone wrote…

That feeling when you find *your* pronouns and you *know* those are your pronouns because it feels so perfect every time someone uses it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 17th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Blend in


Someone wrote…

I want to blend in. I don’t want to draw attention to myself by labelling myself or having to “come out” to people as un-gendered. Being called “he” hurts, though. It feels like I’m being forced into something I’m not.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 15th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Intersections


Laverne Cox (via Twitter) wrote…

Feeling so much love today for those at the intersections of multiple identities, #poc, #queerPOC, #twoc, #tmoc, #genderqueer, #intersex…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 13th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Their Perceptions Don’t fit What I Feel Inside


Someone wrote…

I have been feeling confused about how gender identification is possible if gender equality is supposed to be a thing. Sometimes I identify with stereotypically male thoughts/activities, sometimes with stereotypically female ones. But the problem is that these are all stereotypical, so how can I identify with either?

Solutions proposed to me have been to not think about gender, or to go with my biological sex. Neither feel good since people still perceive me a certain way and their perceptions don’t fit what I feel inside.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 11th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

There are People out There


Someone wrote…

My family doesn’t harass me about my gender. They use my obscure pronouns. They defend my new name with old friends. And yet, I can’t *bring up* gender. If I ask them to say “your old name” instead of the name itself, or if I want protein shakes or dude’s deodorant, they just scoff. They act like my gender is stupid. They act like my whole entire identity is *just* a hair style, some clothes, and a bunch of words.

Every time this happens, I have literally no one to tell. I feel alone and sad and illegitimate. And I wanted to say to anyone who might be feeling anything like this that your identity is legitimate and important. You choices and your needs and your desires and your everything else is completely valid and super. And I hope you’re able to know that there ARE people out there to tell and to cry with and to comfort and be comforted by, and that I really hope you find them because they’re out there looking for you too.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 9th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Sometimes I Feel


Someone wrote…

Sometimes I just don’t want a gender. I mean, it’s fine for other people, but I sometimes feel… Like no gender at all.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 7th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

The Moment That Broke my Heart


Someone wrote…

The moment that broke my heart was the moment that I realized that it wasn’t what was in my head or in my heart that made you not love me. It was what was between my legs.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 5th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

To be Allowed to be Myself


Someone wrote…

I keep looking at my past and noticing I didn’t conform to gender even before I understood what gender was. Now, after living as a woman for decades, I just want to be allowed to be myself but at the same time I don’t know how. Can I just change? Do I need to tell people?

I wish I could talk about it but I’m scared of sounding self-absorbed, or that other people will find me weird or that I’m forcing myself to be unique. I am not, this is who I am. I never felt like a woman, and I never wanted to be one, but I also don’t feel like a man or wish to transition into one.

For the longest time I thought everyone felt this way, unhappy with their gender and body parts.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 3rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Memoirs of Gender Dysphoria


Chase wrote…

The cloud hangs over my head
The pain I’ve felt for years
It makes me sleep and not get out of bed
And makes me awake each night with tears

I wake up each morning my eyes full of tears
And I put on my binder
As I try to push away my fears
I force myself to go to school feeling like a liar

There’s those teachers, known by first name
I use my free time to beg for any help at all
But they all act the same
“I can’t call you by that name, no not at all.”

“We can only use name and sex on your birth certificate,
No other may be used,
We have to tell dad about this.”
He is a lit fuse

The other kids ask questions all day long,
Although it hurts me deep inside,
I know I must be strong.
And I hate the rules, but I know I must abide.

I’m reminded of my pain when my binder is forced on.
It hurts and rubs against my chaffing skin.
People see that my inner light is gone,
And they ask me where I’ve been.

I feel the lump in my throat as I look in the mirror
“Chase, you’re so much better than this!!”
But as I say this, the female me makes me feel inferior.
“You’ll never be a real boy! You’re a girl with a selfish wish!”

As I force myself to see my female form,
In the mirror there’s a stranger I see.
My hair is short, my clothes are torn.
But the body that I have, this person isn’t me!

This stranger in the mirror, this human prison.
I think a shower might calm my restless mind.
How disgusting and awful is this mission,
To wash a body that wasn’t meant to be mine?

Now I have to wait for the dysphoria to lessen.
I take it day by wretched day, and maybe I won’t get through.
I look up and see that the moon’s a lovely crescent,
And maybe I’ll wake up from this nightmare really soon

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

.


Posted by on April 1st, 2015 at 08:00 am

poetry, your voice | Comment »

The Fall


Someone wrote…

Trying to dress less masculinely is hard to face while I’m also coming to terms with my hairline betraying me.

When I feel lost, I look up pictures of Lee Pace in The Fall (2006). That was the film that made me realise I might be genderqueer.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on March 30th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

It Feels Brilliant


Someone wrote…

I’ve just bought my first binder and it’s amazing!

I’m not going to wear it all of the time – because I am Genderqueer, I don’t feel the need to present with a flat chest all of the time but at some certain points I really desperately want to – and now I can.

Never be afraid to express your gender in any way that makes you happy – I wish I’d had the confidence to get my binder sooner! Now I’m enhancing my gender presentation as a Genderqueer/female-identified person and it feels brilliant :)

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on March 28th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Belonging


Chie wrote…

Recently, I was forced into a four-month stretch without internet. so I used it to do something I’d been doing off and on for the past two years: question my gender, without dismissing the topic in frustration.

And even though I’ve found answers, I feel alone and frustrated, because I don’t know where I fit in; what label suits my non-binary gender. the closest are agender and neutrois, but they’re just wrong.

I feel like I’m staring in at them through a window, those who’ve found their community and like-gendered people, and I’m out here, on the streets, an outcast with no rad people to get sodas with or w/e. it’s very frustrating, and it seems like the internet really has no good resources for helping me to any further understanding.

I just wish I felt like I belonged somewhere.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on March 26th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Boyish Clothes


Someone wrote…

Recently I’ve been feeling really confused about my gender.
I’ve always been a bit of a tomboy but I’ve started get dysphoric about my boobs and wear more boyish clothes and I’m not so sure I’m actually a girl. However, I don’t think I’m a boy either and I know you don’t have to be binary but I just wish I could be one or the other – it would make things a lot easier.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on March 24th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

The Environment


Someone wrote…

I’m not out to anyone at the moment, but I’m so glad to have the family and friends that I do. As far as I know they’re all accepting of different genders and sexualities and I feel like as soon as I’m sure of who I am they’ll accept me for who I am. I’m just so happy I have the environment that I do.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on March 22nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Our Bodies


Someone wrote…

Sometimes I feel like we should just ditch gender altogether, call ourselves by what our bodies have (or what we want our bodies to have), and act/dress/love however we want, without worrying whether it somehow conflicts with our biology…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on March 20th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Support and Answers


Parker wrote…

I was assigned the female gender upon birth and it’s just never…felt right. And when I was younger I understood that I really wasn’t a girl but a boy trapped in the wrong body. Over the years I have experimented with different things and found that I’m way more comfortable with myself when I’m posing as a male rather than female. Ive been labeled as “Gender fluid” and “Gender queer” which is partially right I guess. In the future I’d like to make the transformation from Female to Male, but I’d need my family’s support.

My sister’s the only one I’ve ever told about my true identity and have no clue as to even come out to both sets of parents. My mother has made hints for me which I’ve picked up on and once she asked me if I was really a boy, but I didn’t think she was serious.

Right now I just really need some support and answers to how I can come out to my family about this.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on March 18th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions, your voice | Comment »

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