Category: your voice


Finding my Place


Someone wrote…

I’m genderfluid, moving from being neutrois almost all of the time, to every now and then male/female. There’s no pattern to the changes. No rhyme or reason to my gender expression. My sexual orientation is difficult to explain without saying pansexual (which I’m not).

I haven’t met anyone like myself before, and so many people on the net seem so much more ‘stable’ in their fluidity than me. Trying to find my place amongst the binary, non-binary, or sometimes in the LGBTQ community, seems so hard. I just don’t fit in a category. And if I every did, I wouldn’t be in it for very long.

I can’t be alone in this, can I?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 4th, 2015 at 08:00 am

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I Just Want to be Me


Someone wrote…

I may be genderqueer, but I’m still not sure. I was born female, but every time I say “I’m a girl” I feel almost like giggling, as though I’m saying a lie, and often I feel completely comfortable saying “I’m a guy”.

One of my friends was recently very rude to me and told me I should be dressing more feminine, and she and her girlfriend actually laughed about the subject of more existing genders other than male and female, which made me die a little inside, so I never told them about my doubts. I just wish I could be me, I feel pushed into a little box labeled “girl” and I just don’t wanna be there.

I just want to be ME.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 2nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

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Freaky Friday


Someone wrote…

I am genderfluid and often feel dysphoric because I appear very female: high voice, hourglass figure (or so I’ve been told), and an unnecessarily-large chest.

My friend, however, is a cisgender female yet appears very gender neutral: low voice, slim hips, and a small, flat chest. She complains about her body, wishing she had mine, while I complain about my body, wishing I had hers.

We joke about the movie “Freaky Friday,” because if that happened, we would never want to go back.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 30th, 2015 at 08:00 am

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Good Enough


Someone wrote…

I am a male/neutral-identified, female-bodied person and that should be good enough.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 28th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

You. Have. Options.


Someone wrote…

Being genderfluid is…difficult. You have to constantly explain it, and you have to pass perfectly so people know you’re not just a tomboy or tomgirl. There’s a lot of pressure to prove that you’re legit.
But you also get a lot of freedom, I guess. You don’t feel like a guy today? Cool, you have other options. Maybe you’re a chick. Maybe both. Maybe neither. Who knows? You. Have. Options.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 26th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Ferret


Someone wrote…

My gender/orientation is like a ferret: all over the place, not caring if it’s “normal,” and somewhat threatening when people don’t understand it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 24th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Don’t Know What Gender I will be When I Wake up


Someone wrote…

I don’t know what gender I will be when I wake up.

I don’t know if I am okay with my penis today, if I want to ignore it, if I wish that I had no genitals at all or that I could have a vagina.

I don’t know if I will freeze inside when somebody calls me “sir” or can just accept it.

I don’t know if I can enter a restroom and just pick the male door or if I have to stand there and convince myself that I should really pick the mens door because I would be socially awkward if I didn’t.

I don’t know if I can just wear what I feel like or if I am just wearing something to pass and not attract too much attention and hate it every minute.

I don’t know if I can live through the day and just pass as a man without hating myself.

I know that people can’t see me. They see what they understand and they wouldn’t understand me. I don’t even understand myself.
And all I can think is will I ever be looked at again and feel that someone gets me. Like they understand me and they like me for who I am. or even love me for who I am.

Seems so far away.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 22nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

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Silent Reassurance


Someone wrote…

I’m genderfluid, born female, and I have very bad luck. Once, for the entire week of having my period, I identified as male. I cried almost every night, just out of sheer frustration and dysphoria, and I had to remind myself that men can have vaginas, too.

“Besides,” I silently reassured myself, “One thing about periods is that they temporarily boost your levels of testosterone, so technically I’m even MORE of a man.”

It helped. A little. But the dysphoria didn’t vanish for quite some time…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 20th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Starting Points


Someone wrote…

I recently discovered a celebrity whose work I really enjoy, and she happens to be trans. Empowered by this celebrity’s self-acceptance and LGBT pride, I later came out to my family as gender-fluid. It didn’t go well. My mom rejected my identity and told me I was “just too obsessed” with the aforementioned celebrity.

People need to learn the difference between obsessively absorbing someone’s identity and having a starting point for finding YOUR OWN identity…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 18th, 2015 at 08:00 am

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Red Hair Dye


Someone wrote…

A friend of mine, who is trans female, told me about her medical transition:

“It’s a bit like dyeing your hair red,” Marcella explained. “You have to constantly keep up with it; it racks up one hell of a maintenance bill; only assholes point out if you obviously just started; and while there are certain things that this process alone won’t give you, you still look in the mirror and go ‘Damn I look fiiiiiine!’ “

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 16th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Supportive Families


Someone wrote…

One of my absolute favourite things in the world is hearing about trans kids in supportive families. It makes me very happy, knowing that people can be themselves out in the open. I guess I’m also a bit jealous, too, since their families are more supportive than mine will ever be…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 14th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Think I Might be Genderfluid


Someone wrote…

I think I might be genderfluid. I’m a female from birth, but my whole life, people have always thought that I’m a boy. I usually laugh it off when people misgender me, but in truth, I don’t know how to feel about that, especially since I’ve deliberately grown my hair out and started wearing skirts so people assume I’m a female. People have thought I was a boy upon meeting me when I had makeup on and my hair in pigtails, because of my face.

I sometimes think I should let my masculinity show, because people already think I’m a guy, but I’m scared, and I’m not sure what I’m scared of.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 12th, 2015 at 08:00 am

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I Hope to


Someone wrote…

I am a genderfluid pansexual (Female at birth) and I recently
came out to a few people.. I’m happy because most* of them accepted me for who I am (I AM the same person as before, after all) and tried to learn more about me.

I haven’t told the whole world about myself yet but I hope to, soon enough. I want to just be able to express myself freely without anyone giving me weird looks… I want a short haircut, I wanna wear “boy’s” clothes, I wanna walk how I want, talk how I want… I can’t explain it in words. I hope I can do this soon. I’ll be a lot happier then. :3

*One of my friends couldn’t accept this fact and tried to convince me that I am most definitely a girl…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 10th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

New to me


Someone wrote…

All of this is new to me and I’m completely overwhelmed. I’m gender fluid, but I am physically a male. I have a definite feminine side that I was to bring out more, but I have no idea where to start. I don’t know anyone like me nor have I ever met anyone like me. Part of me is scared and part of me wishes I knew what the hell to do.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 8th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 3 comments »

It’s Wearing me Down


Someone wrote…

I know that gender and having gender gives comfort and a sense of identity to a lot of people, but to be honest, it’s wearing me down to present myself as something I am not.

My identity is is something that most people have never even heard of. I am a joke to them. And unfortunately, that means that I do not exist. The queer community is the only place where I am welcomed, yet even in the community, many are ignorant and even say trans*/NB phobic things without realizing it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 6th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Question: What Should I do?


MasterRK9 asks…

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m bisexual, and that will never change. But on discovering that, I’ve uncovered a more perplexing labyrinth of lies and confusion for myself. I’ve come out to my friends that I’m bisexual and they’re okay with that, but I don’t know how’ll they react to telling them I think I’m trans, let alone to my parents.

My parents are traditional, with a nuclear relationship and career status. My sisters all have severe health issues, fibromyalgia, and other horrible diseases that are engraved in genetics, and I don’t have that, so it appears that I’m the one that’s “normal”. If I told them now I was a bisexual trans, it would put more stress on them. They love me, no matter what, they told me directly, even if I were homosexual, but I’m not prepared for the questioning. My dad will question every minute detail there is, even though I’m still confused, and my mom will just yell at me until I answer my dad. They both love yelling, but that’s the one things that deteriorates me fastest. But if I respond better to a softer tone, it’ll only confuse them even more which will lead to more questions and yelling.

I’m thinking I should wait until my dad is deployed somewhere and tell my mom since she’ll take it in easier and then be the one to break it to him. I haven’t told my parents my sexual orientation, nor about what I’ve been feeling for the past 6 years.

I’ve told specs of my thoughts to one of my closest friends, since I’ll know she won’t care, and she doesn’t, but there’s another that I know will never let go of it, and rub it in my face until the end of time.

I’m fourteen now, born female, and I don’t like it. I like it when people call me by male pronouns by mistake, but it feels awkward, even with female pronouns. I relate more with my guy friends, in a close, tight group of 7, 5 girls and 2 boys, but they all act the same. I want to wear more masculine clothing and do more things that’s more associated with boys, but my parents won’t let me. Especially my dad. He decides what I wear, so it’s really girly things, but I’ve manipulated him now to wear more what I want, but it’s still really feminine. I want to wear what my tomboy friend wears, since it’s still a little feminine as a compromise, but he won’t allow it. I’ve already decided that when I have enough money, I’ll get my breasts removed (they’re annoying). And even my screen name is Master, instead of Mistress.

I want to tell them, everyone, but I can’t handle what they’ll ask me. Especially my parents. My mom has seriously considered sending me to a therapist for my anger and violence (it’s also genetic, doesn’t helps with my muscular build). So I’m planning on getting to the point where she’ll send me to the therapist, and tell them.

I really need help. I have no relations with other LGBT in real life, but if I start going to recreation centers and conventions for them, they’ll start questioning me. I can’t explain anything to save my life to anyone I know, so I’m asking people I don’t know. What should I do?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on June 4th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions, your voice | 1 comment »

Knowledge Burst


Someone wrote…

I want some really, really, really famous person to say that female and male are sexes not genders, man and woman are genders not sexes, and that pronouns are masculine and feminine not male and female. We can all say it in our personal circles, but it needs a speed-round knowledge burst from someone with major influence. If everyone got on the same page with words, maybe we could all get on the same page with concepts that defy the words.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 2nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I am Genderqueer


Someone wrote…

I recently came to realise that I am genderqueer – it clicked with me very suddenly.

It felt as if every confusion and unexplainable feeling I had in the past suddenly made complete sense. I am male, and accept my male body as it has always been more feminine, and it works with how I feel comfortable dressing. Throughout my teens and into my early adulthood I have always had a discomfort and difficulty in participating as and with other males, I thought it would change after I came out but it didn’t. I have since realised that, as a person, I do not identify myself as purely a male, but at the same time I don’t feel that it means I am female.

I have strong characteristics of both genders, but I do not feel that I identify more so with either one. I do not want to have a label, and to be categorised before someone gets to know me, I just want to be seen as a human and for my various characteristics and behaviours to not matter.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 31st, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Mother’s Day


Someone wrote…

I identify as a transgender woman. This year was the first year I was able to go out on Mother’s Day as myself. In a daring moment, I participated in a circle of hugs with other moms. It was one of the most emotional moments of my life, a mixture of so many different feelings.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 29th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Laying Claims


Someone wrote…

I’ve claimed so many things over the years…bi girl, bi androgynous girl, androgynous lesbian, straight transman, bi transman, pansexual androgynous transman….and every time I claim something I feel like I have to erase the rest or else I’m being phony or something. Everybody already thinks I’m confused. Now I’m confused and feel like I shouldn’t be. I don’t even know anymore. If I am how I was born, then why can’t I just be that? I have no idea what to do or think…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on May 27th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

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