Category: your voice


Is it Okay?


Someone wrote…

Is it okay to get angry after dealing with people not going with your prefered** gender for a long time?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 23rd, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions, your voice | 3 comments »

The Struggle Bus


Someone wrote…

Why does gender even MATTER?!

I mean, it does. Obviously. We like to have labels, they make us feel affirmed, and like part of a group.

For the past five months, I’ve been riding the Struggle Bus trying to figure out if I’m trans/genderfluid/asexual/an idiot (well, I’m definitely the last one :) ) but to no avail. I want the body of the opposite sex, and that role, and all that, but I still have my doubts and wonder every day if it’s a phase and worth telling le parents.

But why all the bother? Aren’t I myself, an awesome, funny, sarcastic, annoying, athletic, smart, stupid, boring, fun, contradictory person before I’m a boy, girl, or anything in between? Why does gender matter? Why is it that when you go on Omegle the first thing they ask you is your sex? (It’s cos they’re perverts, but do you feel me?)
Isn’t whether you’re a person more important than what’s between your legs? Why do I even give a flying f**ck?!

But I do.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 19th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Moment


Someone wrote…

The most amazing moment is when someone asks you how you identify, and after 5 gruelling, awful years of searching for a word, you are at a loss for words because you have moved on from needing a word.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 17th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Guy Pants


Someone wrote…

I remember the first time I went to get pants from the men’s section. I was at TJ Maxx and had talked to my mom about getting guy pants “For the sake of REAL pockets” “Because Comfort” and “I’m tall, so finding pants that are actually measured instead of assigned a random number will be easier.” All things I was currently telling myself. Not just my folks.

It was odd because I had never gone to the men’s section before. I had no idea what ANY of the numbers meant. And I had no idea where to look and I was really self conscious entering the Men’s section in front of a father and his son when I was so obviously female. But as I was sifting the racks, finally fonding my way around, I was getting strange looks from a totally different guy.

And I could feel myself thing, deep down, a thought I (at the time) refused to acknowledge say “Yeah. I am a girl in the Men’s section at TJ Max. Whachya gunna do ’bout it? What if I’m not cis? Huh??”

And it was just this overwhelming sense of… victory. And I had no idea why… well. I refused to accept why. Now here I am, owning three pairs of guy pants.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 15th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

PROMlem


Someone wrote…

I go to a school so small that everyone can come to prom. Otherwise there would only be about 12 kids there. So with talk of prom starting to surface, i have realized a PROMblem. (Haha. Puns) What to wear? There is no way I will be able to predict if i’ll feel masculine or feminine or neither or both in advance. Gender fluidity doesn’t exactly fit a schedule. O.o

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 13th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Timelines


Someone wrote…

My gender timeline in years:
11: tomboy
12: girl
13: IM A MAN
14: agender………?
15: fluid, flustered, fabricated, fabulous, flouncy, feminine-but-never-ever-femine!!!!
16: agender. please don’t mess up my pronouns…
17: agender. but don’t worry if you mess up it’s okay. BUT DONT CALL ME A GIRL
18: I don’t care. BUT DONT CALL ME A GIRL
19: wait that sign said mens? oops I forgot I have a sex… lol thats awkward

My gender timeline in terms of dysphoria:
11: eeew sex O.o
12: hmm thats kind of cool actually :?
13: what the fu/ck is going on :(
14: wow boobs are gross :/
15: GET THESE BOOBS OFF ME >:/
16: get me out of this whole body!!!!! D’:
17: GET ME OUT OF THIS WHOLE BODY!!!! D’:
18: i don’t care. it sucks, but too bad. but it SUCKS SO MUCH it’s killing me. oh well. :(
19: whoa this new chest is great amazing for a tattoo.

You all are cool people – remember you don’t have to know what will happen tomorrow <3

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 11th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Need to Tell Them But I Don’t Know How


Someone wrote…

I’m 21, female wanting to be a male.

I fall asleep and wake up thinking the same thing everyday, that I hate myself for who I am, for the body I didn’t choose.

I’m afraid to tell anyone, no one knows. My beautiful girlfriend, worries about me. And so does my family. But I still can’t bring myself to tell them

I see a man and I envy them. All I have ever wanted is to be one, I was given the wrong body.

I feel so alone in this world, I need to tell them. But I don’t know how, my life needs to change.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 9th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Innermost Feelings


Someone wrote…

I consider myself to be a rather androgynous person, most of the time, even though I’m “male” “down there”…with some periods of feeling very feminine sprinkled in between. It was very confusing for me all my life (I’m now 64y.o.) growing up never feeling like I really fit into either end of the gender spectrum.

My given name is Christopher, which I love, but when I’m feeling very feminine it doesn’t really “fit” that feeling….I’m out to most of my family and friends as being bi sexual, but only out to a couple of people as being gender fluid. I think it doesn’t matter what age you are discovering yourself, it’s difficult telling people about your innermost feelings.

I’d just like to say to everyone out there that seems to be struggling in some way with their gender identity that, I think you’re ALL the most courageous people!!!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 7th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Grace and Beauty


Someone wrote…

Each morning (when I catch the right time) I can watch the sky above me Change from black to blue to pink and orange….and to a lighter shade of blue again.

Nobody dare to tell me that it is not natural to transition and that I am ugly when the whole planet is doing it in such grace and beauty every day!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 5th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 3 comments »

Narrowing It Down


Someone wrote…

I am 14. Can someone who knows a bit more about gender and sexuality narrow this down for me? If so, much appreciated. So…

I am transmasculine (I feel slightly male, but not wholly), but also identify as another gender. Labelling myself as also Agender sounds incorrect to me. I feel as if I DO have a gender, but it is not male nor female, but yes, I DO feel like I’m teetering on the edge of the male-side of things.

So, maybe third-gendered, or I’m a Demiguy?

Also, I like to dress very androgynously, and like to keep people questioning if I’m male or female. I would feel very flattered if someone mistook me for a male, and I would feel understanding if someone mistook me for female, but anyone who straight up said “You are a man” or “You are a woman”, would make me feel uncomfortable.

And, lastly, since I am not male or female, I would not refer to myself as straight or gay. Though rare, I can be attracted to a cis, straight male, but I strongly prefer an androgynous person: Long hair, soft spoken, feminine features, but still born a male, and with a shapeless, male-like body. Preferably, someone like early 1970’s Robert Plant. Haha.

Anyway, is this a type of sexuality?

So, sorry for the rambling. Many thanks to whoever decides to help.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 12th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions, your voice | 3 comments »

I Can Choose


Someone wrote…

I’m 16, and I’m currently dealing with my abusive mother and her ramblings about college and how I’ll never survive and how I’m too selfish and all this crap. I am genderfluid and pansexual, and I tend to mix all my problems together, resulting in a snowballing effect (which often leads to panic attacks, yay me).

My mother and my identity questionings are some of my many problems. Having been stuck in an abusive relationship for so long, especially one where I am called selfish, thoughtless, and over-dependent, I am very bad at separating my problems and dealing with them individually. This is not a healthy mindset, you see.

I’m gradually recovering, however – if you can recover while something is ongoing.

I’m learning how to separate my problems, and I’m learning that I can take time and ponder my gender and orientation. I can revel in my identity, AND I can rant and rave to the Internet. And. That’s the important part. It’s not a dichotomy, and it’s not a dictatorship. I can choose what I want to do to deal with my life, and my mother can’t change my mind.

Mostly.

Hey, gimme a break. I’m still learning.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 8th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Moment by Moment


Someone wrote…

I know my dad won’t understand if I come out, and I know his opinions on gender seem to stem from a place of fear– but I feel peace.

Step by step, moment by moment I can live, and come out, and perhaps he’ll slowly understand me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 6th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Dead-Named


Someone wrote…

Dead-named at work by Microsoft Exchange for over 5 years because they made it too difficult to update.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 4th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

The Holidays


Someone wrote…

I hate the Holidays.

My parents are divorced so I have to split them. They are the only time I see my dad so it’s rough. He doesn’t know I’m bi-gender and pan sexual. He doesn’t know I use the pronouns they/their and I go by JayCee. I couldn’t never tell him or his family. And I have to go.
At least I’m 17, so it’s the last year custody applies to me. So for one day, I dress completely masculine, act like a boy and go by male pronouns. I just treat it as an act. That’s what it is. It is not me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 2nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Last Year of School


Someone wrote…

I kind of want to try and do my last year of school as openly agender, but I’m not sure people would understand if I did. I wish I could, but I don’t know if I’d be safe doing that. Forcing myself to present as female is really stressful for me but the people I’m going to school with are really… not nice.

Considering what happens to the only other openly trans person at my school, I don’t think I’d be able to cope with their actions…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on November 30th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Loved


Someone wrote…

I just want to be loved for the man that I am.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on November 28th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Waiting


Someone wrote…

I waited for me being sure
I waited for therapy
I waited for the right time to come out to my family and friends
I waited for T
I waited for a new job because my old boss fired me
I wait for a little bit of passing
I wait for not being mistaken for a lesbian or just a girl
I wait for my name change
I wait for my mother to stop ignoring my transition

I am sick of waiting! That kind of waiting that equals fighting to survive and reach the next step with the last bit of energy. Will this ever stop?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on November 26th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Coming Out


Someone wrote…

I feel really guilty whenever I read other people’s positive experiences with coming out because mine hasn’t been the best and I’m so jealous all the time. I’m agender, and my mom still refers to me as female and says I “Have to be a girl” and that I “Don’t get a choice”. I can’t come out to the rest of my family because most of them are really transphobic and would probably get me kicked out, and the only friend I could live with lives a very long way away…

And although most of my friends are decently respectful most of the ones I had when I came out for the first time barely ever remembered my name and pronouns, even though they *never* forgot a mutual friend’s when he came out… Plus they think I’m aromantic just because I’m asexual, and I’m not and it sucks… But hey, my best friends right now are really really good about remembering my name and pronouns and don’t treat me like I have to be aro just because I’m ace, and I really appreciate it, so uh… look on the bright side I suppose!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on November 24th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Let Everyone Be Themselves


Someone wrote…

I’ve been thinking a lot about what my gender is to me. I was born female and you know what? I don’t terribly mind it. I don’t feel like I need to be on the other side… But I also don’t feel the need to be on mine? I don’t think it’s my gender I feel weird about… I think it’s society’s view of my gender that bothers me. I never seem to fit what people think I should be like. I never fit anywhere… But I think I’ve finally come to accept that it’s not me. It’s the rest of them that need to calm down and just let everyone be themselves.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on November 22nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

School


Someone wrote…

I’m too scared to ask the teachers at school to refer to me by my preferred name and pronouns, but being referred to by my dead name and pronouns really really hurts. Does anyone have any tips on trying to talk to teachers about it? That would be a great help!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on November 20th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 3 comments »

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