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Posted by lorainekv on February 28th, 2013 at 08:00 am
I’ve come a long way since I first discovered the word “genderqueer”. It used to be that I would turn red or shake every time someone mentioned LGBT topics (I think I was scared of being “discovered”), I wouldn’t even want to look at men’s clothing in the mall (wearing it was unthinkable), and I felt like I had to act like a girl just because that’s what people expected of me.
Now, I can comfortably talk about LGBT topics (and even bring it up with people, hinting that I am queer), I go around in public actually comfortably wearing men’s and women’s clothing, and I feel like I can be myself more than I’ve been able to in over a year. Things are looking better, but I’ve still got a long way to go to feeling satisfied with my life.
I am out! I told my aunt that I am NOT a woman anymore, but that I am not sure where this will lead to… is this out? I know this is just a step of many, this is just a bridge to telling them to use male pronouns, but I am glad I could start to communicate it after two years of working it out on my own…
I “finished” my transition a few years ago (meaning I had bottom surgery and have since, more or less, settled into a consistent gender presentation). I am a tomboyish trans woman.
I do not know why, but I really want to be more feminine; however, every time I try to achieve a more feminine presentation I end up feeling really uncomfortable–I feel like I am a phony. I feel maybe I should give it up and just accept that I am not the “pretty” type–I’m the tomboy type. That thought makes me feel pretty crummy, though. Anyone else feel that way?
Submitted by Natasha Rose Texidor, the photographer.
“I serve for the United States Army. I am always being judged whether I am in uniform or out of uniform, but no matter what I am a woman, a strong woman. My outside intimidates people. They fear what they don’t understand, but I am a gentle human being who loves and never judges a book by its cover.”
I identify as… not quite sure, perhaps genderqueer or male.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … he, him, her, she (female is more common, but I prefer male).
I’m attracted to… males both manly and feminine, genderqueer, transmen and occasionally girls (depending on personality).
When people talk about me, I want them to… know that I’m no different than anyone else. Not to judge me on how I act and dress and to not put me in a box of a certain gender, personality, etc.
I want people to understand… me, I’m not as complicated as I seem.
I got over suicidal depression over the past year and am prone to it (runs in my family). I feel kind of lost right now, but I’m finding my way. I love to make friends, though I don’t have any (maybe 1 or 2) that really care for me and who I am. I don’t want be seen as just another person and will do anything to help the ones who matter. Oh, I’m also rather geeky and like to cosplay and draw.
I wish I could wake up tomorrow and look on the outside, the way I feel on the inside. That would be great. Then I could walk out my door and say ‘Hey, I’m me, nice to meet you’. And maybe then, I could look in a mirror without feeling like I’m looking at a stranger.
I identify as… feminine/girly, androgynous, gender-balanced, etc.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … he.
I’m attracted to… females.
When people talk about me, I want them to… be respectful.
I want people to understand… to love.
Liberal feminist Muslim. It’s weird, but I love to wear headscarves/coverings (though my wife doesn’t wear them). We have pretty much reversed roles when it comes to dress. It’s about time to subvert oppressive conventions and free ourselves from dogmatism to personal choice.
My wife and I always had our unique expression of faith, and this is pretty much how we chose to express it. It’s time that the wearing of hijab stops being so traditionally associated as women’s wear.
“Being a southern queer person of color means I am fulfilling legacies of survival; it means I am honored and blessed every day with the resilience of my peoples’ and my region’s history. It means that I am constantly learning how to be a better person in the face of opposition — my life is dedicated to love and compassion, for myself and for others. And it means I’m damn fierce.”
I feel so angry these days that I can’t even see straight. I’ve come out to everyone I know and still I feel like I have to push away my gender and expression and be someone that I’m expected to be. At work I’m weird and awkward, at home I’m Father and Husband. Alone however, I’m everything all wrapped in one very confusing, very ornate wrapping that not even I know how to unwrap. When you oppress this much confusion, it only cause friction. I need release, I need community.
“This is a photo shoot I did for a friend about two yonks ago. It was a fun experience and I think I look quite ravishing in it. I am very much into androgyny and genderfucking, and I also like to mix modern and old together. Lots of colour. Lots of life.”
Does my need to be seen as “not-a-woman”, the painful hunger for a flat chest and less hips and the feeling that I will punch the next person that calls me “she” and expects this role, right into the face, justify a real transition?
Anyone else who IS SURE but is held back by… something??? What is keeping me from getting happy and how do I get over it to start to live?
“For Transgender Day of Remembrance 2012, I made 265 butterflies to represent each of the transgender individuals that were killed that year. The colors were drawn from the Transgender flag, including black for mourning. After TDOR, I didn’t know what to do with all the butterflies. Being inspired from photography by Kirsty Michell, I decided to do my own little photo shoot. I plan on continuing this project with these butterflies and take more pictures.”