All Posts by this Contributor


Your Pronouns


Someone wrote…

That feeling when you find *your* pronouns and you *know* those are your pronouns because it feels so perfect every time someone uses it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 17th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Blend in


Someone wrote…

I want to blend in. I don’t want to draw attention to myself by labelling myself or having to “come out” to people as un-gendered. Being called “he” hurts, though. It feels like I’m being forced into something I’m not.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 15th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Question: Hard time coming out as gender fluid and boyfriend has hard time accepting it.


Anony asks…

Hay everyone ;)

I’m a 16-year old bi and genderfluid girl and I have a boyfriend.

I recently came out to him as genderfluid and he’s been having a hard time accepting me on boy-days. He doesn’t mind me wearing his clothes or just boyclothes I buy but he doesn’t want to treat me like a boy. How can I make it easier on him? How can i make him accept me more?

Also I’m having a hard time coming out to my mom. The first thing she told me when i told her I am bi was “as long as you don’t start dressing like a guy.” Well now I’m just afraid she’ll hate me and not accept me at all. She already gives me dirty looks when I wear my boy clothes ;(

Please help me xxxxxx

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on April 14th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | Comment »

We are the Youth


Reposted from We are the Youth.

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on April 13th, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Intersections


Laverne Cox (via Twitter) wrote…

Feeling so much love today for those at the intersections of multiple identities, #poc, #queerPOC, #twoc, #tmoc, #genderqueer, #intersex…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 13th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

We Have Always Been a Part of you


Reposted from Transnormativ.

these are the photos i choose for blackout the blackout, because i need support and validation as not only a black person, but a black transfeminine person.
I’m really struggling with my mom right now and being asked to suppress myself when i go home this weekend and not being able to show her the beauty in my gender expression is going to be painful. transmisogyny is an issue that the black community truly needs to tackle. tackling homophobia and transphobia in the black community won’t end negative views on trans women.
Embrace us, we are still a part of you, and we have always been a part of you.

they/them

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on April 12th, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Question: How to cope?


Someone asks…

This kind of sounds like a really obvious question but:

How do you deal with gender dysphoria?

Recently, it’s been horrid. It started with three people using my birth name in one day, and after that, I’ve noticed every single little misgendering (I’m defining misgendering as any stranger calling me my assigned gender including pronouns and nouns, and anyone I personally know calling me the wrong nouns and, if I’ve come out to them, pronouns). I know about the reminding, like repeatedly reminding people I know to call me the right things in a gentle way that acknowledges their attempts. I know about walking myself through their position, putting myself in their shoes that it’s hard for them to get it right. I know about allowing myself to [internally] call them ignorant when they disregard my needs and simply don’t care. I know coping skills like affirmations and breathing techniques to calm myself down.

I also know that they think that my gender is “inconvenient.” I also know that the majority of them don’t care, won’t care, or won’t ever understand no matter how much they care. I also know that there is no way to be properly gendered every time, as a non-binary person who will never be okay with the f/m boxes that SO many people only know about. I also know that I am not okay with coming out to random strangers right off the bat – why should I have to put my entire identity right out in the open when I don’t even know them? It’s violating.

So I have no idea what to do. How do I cope with this? It’s unbearable, and since there is no way I can have people stop misgendering me on a daily basis, how can I deal with it?

Thank you so much. <3

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on April 12th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Tomboy-ish


Reposted from alivetillthe-end.

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on April 11th, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

Their Perceptions Don’t fit What I Feel Inside


Someone wrote…

I have been feeling confused about how gender identification is possible if gender equality is supposed to be a thing. Sometimes I identify with stereotypically male thoughts/activities, sometimes with stereotypically female ones. But the problem is that these are all stereotypical, so how can I identify with either?

Solutions proposed to me have been to not think about gender, or to go with my biological sex. Neither feel good since people still perceive me a certain way and their perceptions don’t fit what I feel inside.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 11th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Xe/xir


Reposted from PandaMuffin.

Happy blackout!(Xe/xir pronouns)

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on April 10th, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

There are People out There


Someone wrote…

My family doesn’t harass me about my gender. They use my obscure pronouns. They defend my new name with old friends. And yet, I can’t *bring up* gender. If I ask them to say “your old name” instead of the name itself, or if I want protein shakes or dude’s deodorant, they just scoff. They act like my gender is stupid. They act like my whole entire identity is *just* a hair style, some clothes, and a bunch of words.

Every time this happens, I have literally no one to tell. I feel alone and sad and illegitimate. And I wanted to say to anyone who might be feeling anything like this that your identity is legitimate and important. You choices and your needs and your desires and your everything else is completely valid and super. And I hope you’re able to know that there ARE people out there to tell and to cry with and to comfort and be comforted by, and that I really hope you find them because they’re out there looking for you too.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 9th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

#me


Reposted from blackpanthress.

#ME (They/Them pronouns)

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on April 8th, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

To Survive on This Shore


Photo taken from a series of pictures from To Survive on This Shore.

Representations of older transgender people are nearly absent from both photography and social science domains, and those that do exist are often one-dimensional. To survive on this shore combines photographs of transgender and gender variant people over the age of fifty with interviews about their life experiences in regards to gender, identity, age, and sexuality and provides a nuanced view into the complexities of aging as a transgender person. By combining our experiences working as a photographer and social worker within the transgender community, we hope to create a project that is simultaneously highly personal and socially relevant.

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on April 7th, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces, photos, recommendations | Comment »

Sometimes I Feel


Someone wrote…

Sometimes I just don’t want a gender. I mean, it’s fine for other people, but I sometimes feel… Like no gender at all.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 7th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Question: What’s my gender?


Charlie asks…

So, I’m Charlie. (Not my born name, but I use this for both privacy of my real identity & if I was to go by another gender fluid name, this would be it.)

I still don’t quite know how to label myself. I was born a girl, but a lot of time (though not always) I wish I was a (gay) man. But it gets a bit more complicated. Sometimes within the wishing of being a man, is sometimes wishing to be a cross dressing man. (By the way, I’m pansexual)

I always go by woman pronouns & always dress as a woman, but mainly because I don’t know how my family would feel if I dressed as a man. On top of that, I feel my girly features would outshine my female features in my “guy moods”. I know this makes me seems gender fluid, but I feel I have more than just 2 genders. I think I have a female & male combined gender, which is why I think I’m trigender, but there’s still my “cross dresser” mood.

If anyone can help with finding a label for myself, please do!! I have no idea how to identify myself….

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on April 6th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 4 comments »

The Moment That Broke my Heart


Someone wrote…

The moment that broke my heart was the moment that I realized that it wasn’t what was in my head or in my heart that made you not love me. It was what was between my legs.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 5th, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

To be Allowed to be Myself


Someone wrote…

I keep looking at my past and noticing I didn’t conform to gender even before I understood what gender was. Now, after living as a woman for decades, I just want to be allowed to be myself but at the same time I don’t know how. Can I just change? Do I need to tell people?

I wish I could talk about it but I’m scared of sounding self-absorbed, or that other people will find me weird or that I’m forcing myself to be unique. I am not, this is who I am. I never felt like a woman, and I never wanted to be one, but I also don’t feel like a man or wish to transition into one.

For the longest time I thought everyone felt this way, unhappy with their gender and body parts.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on April 3rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Trans Pride Flag


Reposted from Natalie on Flickr.

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on April 2nd, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Memoirs of Gender Dysphoria


Chase wrote…

The cloud hangs over my head
The pain I’ve felt for years
It makes me sleep and not get out of bed
And makes me awake each night with tears

I wake up each morning my eyes full of tears
And I put on my binder
As I try to push away my fears
I force myself to go to school feeling like a liar

There’s those teachers, known by first name
I use my free time to beg for any help at all
But they all act the same
“I can’t call you by that name, no not at all.”

“We can only use name and sex on your birth certificate,
No other may be used,
We have to tell dad about this.”
He is a lit fuse

The other kids ask questions all day long,
Although it hurts me deep inside,
I know I must be strong.
And I hate the rules, but I know I must abide.

I’m reminded of my pain when my binder is forced on.
It hurts and rubs against my chaffing skin.
People see that my inner light is gone,
And they ask me where I’ve been.

I feel the lump in my throat as I look in the mirror
“Chase, you’re so much better than this!!”
But as I say this, the female me makes me feel inferior.
“You’ll never be a real boy! You’re a girl with a selfish wish!”

As I force myself to see my female form,
In the mirror there’s a stranger I see.
My hair is short, my clothes are torn.
But the body that I have, this person isn’t me!

This stranger in the mirror, this human prison.
I think a shower might calm my restless mind.
How disgusting and awful is this mission,
To wash a body that wasn’t meant to be mine?

Now I have to wait for the dysphoria to lessen.
I take it day by wretched day, and maybe I won’t get through.
I look up and see that the moon’s a lovely crescent,
And maybe I’ll wake up from this nightmare really soon

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

.


Posted by on April 1st, 2015 at 08:00 am

poetry, your voice | Comment »

Mix Them up


Reposted from un-gendered. (via under the dark moon)

“[she/her/they/them mix them up please]”

( Submit A Photo )

Posted by on March 31st, 2015 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Back to top