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Waking up.


Someone wrote…

There are days when I wake up and know I am a girl, and days when I wake up and know I am a boy. The majority of days though, I just know I’m me – regardless of what is or isn’t between my legs.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 24th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Comfort


Someone wrote…

I was getting really hung up on struggling with what’s true for me, what’s a product of societal programming, and the incessant binary thoughts of “wait if I’m not cis then I must be trans, right?” grinding away in my head. Then I got a piece of advice that almost instantly quieted it all down and helped it all make sense for me. I go back to it frequently.

“Stop thinking of it terms of gender and start thinking of it terms of comfort. Do the “women’s” clothes you wear make you feel comfortable? Then wear them!

Does looking more femme make you feel more comfortable some days more than others? Then look femme!

Same goes for your body, the way you talk, the way you move, the way you express yourself. It doesn’t have to be about any notion of gender binary. It can just simply be about physical manifestations of what makes you feel good.”

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 22nd, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

How do I discourage being wrongly gendered without being confrontational?


Someone wrote…

I am an FTM. I work in the public school system. I applied to the job and was hired as male…I wear a name tag that clearly reads “MR.” I conform to many male stereotypes (I bind, I have short hair, I wear mens clothing exclusively) Oftentimes, however, I am either referred to with female pronouns among co-workers or they include my presence in terms like “ladies” referring to a group.

How do I discourage these types of experiences without being rude or confrontational?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 21st, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

As a child.


Someone wrote…

As a child, I was led to believe that being a girl meant that you had to like dolls, dresses, hair, and pink. I didn’t like any of these things, so I figured I was not a girl. If I was not a girl, I had to be a boy. Now I know that not fitting into a socially constructed “girly” mold does not diminish my identity as a woman.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 20th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

All of us


Someone wrote…

Whenever I come here and read and see you all, it makes me feel fantastic. I get courage, I get inspiration, I hear questions that I can really ask myself. I wouldn’t be me without people like you!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 18th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Society


Someone wrote…

I’m what society would deem a transman and my partner is what society would deem a homosexual man, though neither is true as we are both more complex than this.

Yesterday my cousin asked how we defined our relationship. It’s amazing how many people feel the need to ask that question.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 16th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Very much together


Someone wrote…

Society tells us that we are all alone in our gender non-conformity, yet here we are all, very much together :)

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 14th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Question: Longer hairstyles for Genderqueer people


Sophia/James asks…

Hello! I have been considering getting my hair cut short to look more, well, genderqueer. It’s pretty difficult trying to convince others that I don’t identify as one gender, and I still haven’t succeeded, but I probably won’t be respected like that so easily since I’m only thirteen.
I’ve noticed that a lot of genderfluid individuals have short hair, and I’m sure anyone can see why that is convenient.

However, I’m curious to know if there are any longer hairstyles out there that would show me to be more visibly genderqueer? I’m not opposed to having it cut short to look more androgynous, but I still want to know what’s best for me.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on July 13th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Twitter


Someone wrote…

I am in love with the fact that I don’t know the gender of many of folks I follow on Twitter.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 12th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Three names


Someone wrote…

I have three names: my birth name, my adoptive name and my trans name. I kinda like it that way.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 10th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Dream


Someone wrote…

I had a dream last night. I was making out with what I thought was a boy and turned out to be a girl. I was attracted to her in both ways and I woke up happy that I subconsciously had the same response as I claim to consciously.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 8th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Undefined


Someone wrote…

I know that I want to be a woman. I know that I’ve never felt like a man. But I’m really scared about going through the process of changing who I am.

I think it’s for the best to change how I identify my gender, but I don’t know how to change it or what to identify as. For the time being, I’m just calling myself “undefined” and using the umbrella-term “genderqueer”.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 6th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Question: What should I change my name to?


Kayla (for now) asks…

I’d really like to change my name. I have a very feminine name (Kayla) and when I (try to) present as anything other than female, I find the name kind of holds me back.

I’m not out yet to anyone and I’d like to have everything figured out (like what pronouns and name I feel the most comfortable with) before I come out to lessen the confusion. I’d like to use either a gender neutral name or a guys name.

If any of you could give any name suggestions that would be great. I already looked at a bunch of baby name websites and picked out a few, but I’m still not sure.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on July 5th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 8 comments »

Always changing


Someone wrote…

Every day, I am amazed at the capacity of my always-changing body. Some days I have one gender, some days many, some days none. They are all wonderful. They all amaze me

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 4th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Baby steps


Boink wrote…

I more-or-less successfully “passed” as a girl the other day! It was also the first time I seriously wore a dress in public. Although I might have gotten a few slightly confused looks, all gendered statements I received correctly identified me as female and I didn’t get asked any gender-related questions.

I was on a vacation with a few trusted and super-supportive cis-girl friends, safely away from any acquaintances at home, but for that one day I was a girl and it felt great! I’m stuck being a boy again back at home, but that experience was so encouraging. Baby steps are still progress!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 2nd, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Question: The reflexive form of singular They


Someone asks…

I use they/them/their pronouns, and being a bit of a grammar nut, I need to know what the reflexive form of singular they is. “Themselves” sounds waaaaaaay too plural, and “themself” sounds really grammatically incorrect.

I guess I need other people’s opinions on this to allow myself to use “themself” without cringing.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on June 27th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 7 comments »

What I wish


Someone wrote…

I wish that I could be who I wanted to be, in the body in which I wanted to be it, without the binary expectations of society, and without the intolerance expressed by those whose gender conforms to their bodies towards those of us whose gender doesn’t.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 20th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Question: German gender-neutral language


Someone asks…

Does anyone have any information on gender-neutral language/pronouns in German?

I’m about to move to Berlin for a year, and I’m not happy about the idea of having to gender myself by using masculine or feminine nouns, or my friends by using masculine or feminine pronouns.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on June 19th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 8 comments »

Horoscopes


Someone wrote…

People are often dismissive of horoscopes because “it doesn’t make sense to divide all of humanity into only twelve categories based on the time of birth, and then expect the same things to be true of everybody within each category, it would be too much of a generalisation”.

However, I find the concept of gender very similar – you are born under certain circumstances, and it is automatically assumed you will be inclined to certain professions, hobbies or interests, that a certain set of skills will come more naturally to you, that you will prefer to act or dress in a certain way… – and yet, very few people ever question, let alone dismiss that concept. How come dividing humanity into only TWO categories isn’t perceived as too much of a generalisation?!

The biological sex someone is born as is no more indicative of the person they will become than the time (or any other random circumstance) of their birth.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on June 18th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 3 comments »

Question: binding


Jace asks…

Hi, my breasts are set very low on my chest + I bought a binder that’s just a bit too big (I’m in between sizes and I figured going big would be better and less damaging), and as such, my breasts usually … fall out of the binding area. Because of that, I usually wind up “binding down” and I’ve read that that can hurt and damage your breast tissue + it hurts my breasts.

So I was wondering, is there any way to “lift” my breasts up inside the binder so I don’t wind up binding down? I try to fix it by laying down and pulling my breasts up and towards the side while in the binder, and it lasts for a little bit until I have to move my arms/chest around too much.

Thanks!

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on June 13th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

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