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Surgery without T in Germany


LordValdi asks…

Hello. (Here is the excuse for bad English)

I’m a fifteen year old person from Germany. I say person, because I had much confusion and denial with my gender identity. I came out in my school as a ftm, but now I am questioning.

It’s not that I want to be female, but that I feel somewhere else in the spectrum, like agender for example.

My therapist isn’t a great help and since I’m desperate I wanted to ask for advice here.

The main problem is, that here in Germany you can’t undergo any surgery at all without

1.Straightly identifying as male/female
2.Going on T.

Transsexuality is seen as a disease here, and if you identify as anything else, it’s seen as unnecessary to get any medication.
Not that these identities aren’t respected, they sure are, but for people like me, who experience (for example) breast dysphoria, it is kind of a problem. I own a binder, but it presses to strong on my heart, where I have health problems (more below).

I could simply go on T and get the surgery later on, since I came out as ftm, but that (for now) just feels wrong, like a betray to the community even. Also Testosterone would be a danger for my health, since I already have a disease to be taken care of, not to mention all the side effects of the medication I am taking.

In 2017, there is supposed to be a change in law, that changes the law around seeing Transsexuality as a disease but right now my main goal is to get breast surgery, and nothing else. For years I just want them to go away. But how can I get surgery here?

Is this a question anyone can answer?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on February 11th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: Trying To Be Fem at Seven A.M.


Joel asks…

I am gender fluid. Slowly (but surly) coming out to people. Over the summer I decided to take some big leaps, such as cutting 16 inches off of my hair and donating it. And then shaving one side. I love the hair cut, especially how on my more masculine days I can flip it and look like a flipping male model.

My parents are really liberal (Thank the god I don’t believe in) so I know that when I come around to coming out to them, it’ll be no big deal. So that is not what I am here to ask about.

Seeing as I am gender fluid, some days I feel girly. But with short hair…. well, lets just say it would be cool if I could switch the length at the snap of a fingers every now and then.

I know of plenty of ways to look more feminine on my feminine days, but it all takes a lot of effort. I don’t do well at waking up on time for school the way it is. Let alone 2 hours early for make up and clothes. So what this really long rant really comes down to, is if anyone know of some really easy, quick ways to look more girly with short hair when I have 10 minutes to get out the door and can hardly stand?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on February 3rd, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 5 comments »

Self-Presentation


Submitted by Skye, the model and photographer.

“I’m Agender, but I like to look this way. I believe that everyone should have the freedom to wear long hair, dresses, cosmetics, and flower crowns, regardless of their gender, or in my case, a lack thereof.”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 28th, 2016 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

Question: Binder bulges: this binder doesn’t work?


Elliot asks…

Hi!
I just (finally) got my first binder, a 988. I’m not sure whether I’m wearing it wrong, or it’s the wrong size, or my expectations were out of line but it doesn’t seem to work.

But all the pictures I’ve seen of people wearing one show it really flattening their chests. Even with pushing down and out I either feel like I’m wearing a pushup bra, or I get weird bulges all over the place.

What am I doing wrong? Help?

Yours dysphorically.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on January 28th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

100 Most Stylish DapperQs 2015


Reposted from DapperQ.

” In July 2013, dapperQ published their first ever list of 100 Most Stylish dapperQs. This was by far one of their most popular posts, but was by no means exhaustive. Since the original post was not comprehensive enough to capture all of the amazing dapper that exists in our community, their team decided to compile an annual list of 100 most stylish dapperQs.”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 25th, 2016 at 10:00 am

clothing, faces, people, photos, websites | Comment »

Me


Submitted by Tiffani/Timothy, the model and photographer.

“Well here it goes. I need help to come out to my family that I’m gender fluid !”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 24th, 2016 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Every Breath We Drew


Reposted from The HuffPost (via Jess T Dugan).

“A new photo book has just been released and it examines the power of identity, desire, and connection through the art of portraiture in 2015.

Every Breath We Drew is a striking collection of images from photographer Jess Dugan, who sought out subjects that exhibit, in her words, a form of “gentle masculinity.” Through this work, Dugan complicates traditional notions of masculinity by photographing individuals in intimate spaces as meaningful exchanges took place.”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 23rd, 2016 at 10:00 am

books, faces, photos | Comment »

Is it Okay?


Someone wrote…

Is it okay to get angry after dealing with people not going with your prefered** gender for a long time?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 23rd, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions, your voice | 3 comments »

oh, the places you’ll go! (inner, outer)


Submitted by Sage, the model. Photo by Shifty Chunk / Aidan Whiteley.

“a )genderqueer( forest creature in my natural habitat.

they/them/theirs is rad. she/her/hers is okay.”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 22nd, 2016 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Trans Microaggressions


Reposted from Bisexual Women of Color (via GLAAD).

“Every day, trans and gender non-conforming people face overt and subtle discrimination as they try to go about their lives. As part of Transgender Awareness Week, GLAAD created a photo essay to highlight the more subtle forms of oppression trans people experience – often called microaggressions. Microaggressions are subtle verbal or behavioural slights that invalidate a person’s identity or experience.”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 21st, 2016 at 10:00 am

faces, people, photos, websites | Comment »

if you love beards wear a beard.


Submitted by Mae, the model and photographer.

” I didn’t feel boyish, nor butch, male, nor androgynous that day. But like wearing a beard. And it felt good honestly.”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 20th, 2016 at 10:00 am

faces | Comment »

Question: Confused and feeling alone


asks…

I’m not quite sure what I’m feeling currently and it’s really stressful. I have 2 friends that are trans and they recently got binders. I support them 100% but when they told me about getting binders, I got EXTREMELY jealous of them and I don’t know why. I’ve been born a girl and have always been one but after feeling that jealous, I’ve been questioning myself. My gender and sexuality. I’m not sure if maybe I could be trans or what but this feeling won’t leave me alone and I don’t know what to do…

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on January 20th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Portraits of Jacob


Reposted from Charisma Moran Photography.

“I sat patiently waiting in Bryant Park, camera in hand, and perfect weather outside.

Jacob walked up from the Subway in their tall black heels and the perfect LBD, looking effortlessly chic. Sure, Jacob is an accomplished writer, public speaker, and advocate but before that, they are the type of person that you immediately want to be best friends with.

Stylish, funny, and charming; Jacob made me feel as if I had known them my whole life when I had only spent five minutes with them.”

( Submit A Photo )


Posted by on January 19th, 2016 at 10:00 am

faces, people, photos | Comment »

The Struggle Bus


Someone wrote…

Why does gender even MATTER?!

I mean, it does. Obviously. We like to have labels, they make us feel affirmed, and like part of a group.

For the past five months, I’ve been riding the Struggle Bus trying to figure out if I’m trans/genderfluid/asexual/an idiot (well, I’m definitely the last one :) ) but to no avail. I want the body of the opposite sex, and that role, and all that, but I still have my doubts and wonder every day if it’s a phase and worth telling le parents.

But why all the bother? Aren’t I myself, an awesome, funny, sarcastic, annoying, athletic, smart, stupid, boring, fun, contradictory person before I’m a boy, girl, or anything in between? Why does gender matter? Why is it that when you go on Omegle the first thing they ask you is your sex? (It’s cos they’re perverts, but do you feel me?)
Isn’t whether you’re a person more important than what’s between your legs? Why do I even give a flying f**ck?!

But I do.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 19th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

Moment


Someone wrote…

The most amazing moment is when someone asks you how you identify, and after 5 gruelling, awful years of searching for a word, you are at a loss for words because you have moved on from needing a word.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 17th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Question: Will binding effect breastfeeding?


asks…

If I bind will I still be able to breastfeed in the future?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on January 16th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | Comment »

Guy Pants


Someone wrote…

I remember the first time I went to get pants from the men’s section. I was at TJ Maxx and had talked to my mom about getting guy pants “For the sake of REAL pockets” “Because Comfort” and “I’m tall, so finding pants that are actually measured instead of assigned a random number will be easier.” All things I was currently telling myself. Not just my folks.

It was odd because I had never gone to the men’s section before. I had no idea what ANY of the numbers meant. And I had no idea where to look and I was really self conscious entering the Men’s section in front of a father and his son when I was so obviously female. But as I was sifting the racks, finally fonding my way around, I was getting strange looks from a totally different guy.

And I could feel myself thing, deep down, a thought I (at the time) refused to acknowledge say “Yeah. I am a girl in the Men’s section at TJ Max. Whachya gunna do ’bout it? What if I’m not cis? Huh??”

And it was just this overwhelming sense of… victory. And I had no idea why… well. I refused to accept why. Now here I am, owning three pairs of guy pants.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 15th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

PROMlem


Someone wrote…

I go to a school so small that everyone can come to prom. Otherwise there would only be about 12 kids there. So with talk of prom starting to surface, i have realized a PROMblem. (Haha. Puns) What to wear? There is no way I will be able to predict if i’ll feel masculine or feminine or neither or both in advance. Gender fluidity doesn’t exactly fit a schedule. O.o

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 13th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Timelines


Someone wrote…

My gender timeline in years:
11: tomboy
12: girl
13: IM A MAN
14: agender………?
15: fluid, flustered, fabricated, fabulous, flouncy, feminine-but-never-ever-femine!!!!
16: agender. please don’t mess up my pronouns…
17: agender. but don’t worry if you mess up it’s okay. BUT DONT CALL ME A GIRL
18: I don’t care. BUT DONT CALL ME A GIRL
19: wait that sign said mens? oops I forgot I have a sex… lol thats awkward

My gender timeline in terms of dysphoria:
11: eeew sex O.o
12: hmm thats kind of cool actually :?
13: what the fu/ck is going on :(
14: wow boobs are gross :/
15: GET THESE BOOBS OFF ME >:/
16: get me out of this whole body!!!!! D’:
17: GET ME OUT OF THIS WHOLE BODY!!!! D’:
18: i don’t care. it sucks, but too bad. but it SUCKS SO MUCH it’s killing me. oh well. :(
19: whoa this new chest is great amazing for a tattoo.

You all are cool people – remember you don’t have to know what will happen tomorrow <3

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 11th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | Comment »

I Need to Tell Them But I Don’t Know How


Someone wrote…

I’m 21, female wanting to be a male.

I fall asleep and wake up thinking the same thing everyday, that I hate myself for who I am, for the body I didn’t choose.

I’m afraid to tell anyone, no one knows. My beautiful girlfriend, worries about me. And so does my family. But I still can’t bring myself to tell them

I see a man and I envy them. All I have ever wanted is to be one, I was given the wrong body.

I feel so alone in this world, I need to tell them. But I don’t know how, my life needs to change.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on January 9th, 2016 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

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