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Red


Reposted from Switch Teams.

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Posted by on December 18th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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What the wind carries.


Reposted from House of Alexzander.

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Posted by on December 17th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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The world is not easy


Liz wrote…

I don’t really know what to do now that I’ve come to this revelation.

I’ve been sitting in my room all day, drinking hot chocolate, and cataloging old memories…

I remember the first time my mother let me pick out my clothes at the store. I was eight years old, and my little nimble fingers with their pink nails quickly latched on to the brown t-shirt with the little skateboards on it. I went home with a pleated skirt and a lace covered top.

I remember when I was nine, and before a shower I would spend hours in the bathroom contorting my hair to short boy cut lengths so that I could feel better about myself. When I was eleven and early on set puberty made my chest begin to swell, I would wear tight undershirts to flatten myself out. When I was twelve and the boys I played with at recess told me that I was no longer one of their own…

I realized that the world was not easy.

I began wearing tight sports bras to flatten out my chest and hide my feminine curves. I lowered my voice. I entered into sports and spent most of my time alone because no one in my small southern town understood why this preacher’s daughter acted the way she did.

My mother and I fought at every turn. The most vivid memory I have of this time in my life was when I was ten, and cast as a male god in a greek play for my advanced elementary class. I hadn’t even requested the part; the role was complex and my teacher knew I was the only one who would be able to memorize it in time for the performance. My mother was furious, and tried to get me to wear a crown and necklace combo of flowers that she had made her self.

When I refused and declared that “manly gods do not wear flowers in this play”, she slapped me, called me a defamatory name for lesbian, and ran out of the room. I overheard her screaming at my father in the hallway that something was wrong with me, and that if I wanted to be a man, then she could not be my mother.

I fought her until I was fifteen. On the day that I gave up, I’d come home from the mall with new shorts, the long and baggy kind. She burned them in the backyard. While I was crying, she gave me an ultimatum: if I didn’t stop this “pretending to be a boy crap” I’d be shipped off to a christian boarding school the next semester. So, I decided to bury whatever I felt that made me not want to be like the girls around me, and be as feminine as my mother wanted me to be.

I let my mother buy me dresses. I wore pink. I quit a few of my sports team. I made my voice a little higher. I started dating guys. I painted my nails glittery colors. I learned the art of makeup and how to sculpt my face into whatever my mood of the day required. Some days, I even enjoyed the feminine thrill of lace and flowers, and others, it just felt.. wrong. But I still did it for the sake of peace and safety.

These memories are not ones that I visit often. They’ve only been brought to the surface by the words of one of my dear friends. They came by my room last week to talk to me about what they called a, “gender crisis.” They started to tell me their story, and they didn’t get very far into it until I realized how my own story mirrored their own.

I didn’t mention my own struggles, but I did hug and love and cry with them. They left with a smile and quick kiss on my cheek and a, “thank you for accepting and respecting me,” and then I was left with my own thoughts.

I realized, that even though I’m in college and far away from the home that repressed me, I still don’t express myself in the ways that I always naturally wanted to do. I feel as if I’ve conditioned myself in order to survive, and now I struggle to be true to who I am. I’d say that most days I feel comfortable with the way I outwardly express myself. However, there are some days, many times when I’m forced to “dress up” for a formal event, that I feel… wrong, having to slip into a dress that on some days I think is wonderful, but on some days looks odd, awkward, and wrong hanging off of my shoulders.

I feel as if I should do something, but I’m not sure what. I feel as if I should say something to the world around me, but I’m not sure how. I feel as if I want to be something else, but I’m not even sure I understand why.

It’s times like these I understand once again that the world is not easy.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 17th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

Whiskers


Reposted from Pirateelf on Instagram.

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Posted by on December 16th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Diptych in Yellow


Reposted from Johanna Willemijn Lammers on flickr.

“casually posing and texting my mom in the kitchen”

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Posted by on December 15th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

A self made man


Ash wrote…

I am a trans man who is accepting of all gender identities and expressions. However, sometimes I feel like I am being unintentionally misogynistic because I do identify as male and enjoy the “traditionally” male aspects of presentation. I’ll wind myself up until I’m in tears because I feel like my identity and expression puts off a hypocritical vibe, since I’m not comfortable with looking “femme” myself. I do what is comfortable for me, but I feel like I’m still enforcing gender essentialism.

Any other guys have this problem?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 15th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Just sitting by some bikes


Reposted from Switch Teams.

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Posted by on December 14th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Question: sex, sex education, relationships


hilite asks…

Hi. I am 29 and have been in a monogamous relationship for nearly 10 years. Prior to that I was closeted and had basically no exposure to GSMs (Gender and/or Sexuality Minority) or life as a GSM. I literally had no sex education thanks to my Christian high school in Texas and once in my relationship we just figured things out.

However, things have become complex now. And among the things I need, is some basic sex education that is gender inclusive and queer friendly. Scarleteen is great but I’m married and older and I want a comprehensive sex education, not just a topical one (don’t get me wrong, I love what Scarleteen does – I just need something different).

Dan Savage talks about being “good” at sex, I’d like to learn about that. I’d also like more information about orgasms and other types of pleasure.

And in long tern relationships how do ask for what we want sexually in appropriate, reasonable and effective ways…and what can expect in navigating that conversation?

To what extent is it “ok” to do things outside of your comfort zone in order to meet a partners needs?

Do you have any suggestions?

Thank you in advance.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on December 14th, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Trans*march Berlin 2014


Reposted from Franziska Neumeister on Flickr.

“Together for: more visibility, solidarity, self definition, respect, community accountability, free
gender choice,…”

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Posted by on December 13th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Something missing


Someone wrote…

I’m a girl, and one which society would view as a “typical” (not my favourite choice of word) one. I like wearing pretty clothes, having my hair long, wearing make-up, etc. However, even more than that I have this burning wish to be a man.

To make this more complicated, I wish to be a man because I would LOVE to be a female drag-act, or something similar. I love the male voice, the possible fluctuation between male and female body, the confidence and sparkle that they may have. I also like dressing as a “typical” man, but as a short, curvy woman I can’t pull it off very well, and this irritates me. I’ve tried sparkle, deepening my voice, wigs… but it feels like I’m a fake, and I’ll never truly hit what I want. Yet, equally, I’ve accepted being a woman and I mostly like the way I am. For example, my friend is a female to male trans person, and I know that I’m not the same.

It’s very confusing and annoying if I think about it too much, and I tend to think about it a lot. I know it sounds like a joke, but it genuinely feels like something is missing. Anyone else have a similar story?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 13th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 2 comments »

Bricks


Reposted from The Dapper Crow.

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Posted by on December 12th, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Hello! Address me as….


A handy sticker that tells the world your name and pronouns. Comes in five varieties: he/him/his, she/her/hers, they/them/theirs, xe/xem/xyrs, and ze/hir/hirs! Whether being used when meeting new people or as a gentle reminder to old friends, this sticker uses a familiar format to communicate the information quickly and easily.

Name stickers by Non-Newtonian Gender Fluid.

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Posted by on December 12th, 2014 at 08:00 am

photos | 1 comment »

Blue dress blowing


Reposted from Pinterest

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Posted by on December 11th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

Gives Me Hope


Someone wrote…

I’m a male-to-female transsexual girl going through transition at the moment.

I often feel that I look too much like a boy, which depresses me.

One day in line for the register, while dressed very boyishly, an older man with a full cart turned to me.

He asked; “Would you like to go ahead of me, young lady?”

You GMH, kind sir.

Thank you so much!

Shared from LGBTQ* gives me hope.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 11th, 2014 at 12:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

As We Fell


Reposted from Kityanpoet.com.

Kit Yan is a queer, transgender, and Asian American Brooklyn based slam poet from Hawaii. Kit performs entertaining and educational theatrical slam poetry pieces about his life as a queer, transgender, and Asian American through stories about family, love, and social justice.

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Posted by on December 10th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces, people, poetry | 1 comment »

Seeing double


Reposted from Rookie.

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Posted by on December 9th, 2014 at 10:00 am

faces | 1 comment »

Binding


Someone wrote…

Most days I feel the need to bind, but when I do, I feel terrible because it makes me realise that I’ll never be able to bind ~completely flat~, that’s just not what my body can do.
I’m torn between wearing bras and feeling mediocre, and wearing a binder and having this huge insecurity as well as some extreme joy… I don’t know how to handle it.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on December 9th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

My Barbershop


Reposted from The Dapper Crow.

“My barbershop.”

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Posted by on December 1st, 2014 at 10:00 am

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Question: Coming out as gender fluid


V asks…

What have people’s experiences been when coming out as gender fluid to friends and family? I have only this year after a lifetime of anxiety and dysphoria, come to the phenomenal realisation that this is quite obviously who I am and who I was always meant to be.

However, I am very nervous about telling people about it, because I think it will not be as obvious to them.

It’s not because my friends and family are not accepting and open-minded, they are. But they will still be confused. The thought of gender as a binary concept is still so ingrained in everyone’s minds; I almost feel like it would be easier to come out as trans* because then at least I would kind of be one single definable thing…

The thought of explaining it over and over again to everyone I talk to, with the emotional wounds from 22 years of repression and denial still ripe, feels insurmountable.

How come you haven’t said anything sooner?
How come you didn’t realise sooner?
Are you sure you’re not just exaggerating your tomboyishness?
How are we going to know when you’re a man or a woman?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «


Posted by on December 1st, 2014 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Expressing Myself


Someone wrote…

I was born with a female body and a mixed mind. I consider myself both man and woman, but I also consider myself genderless.

The biggest problem I have is expressing myself outwardly. My feminine side gets upset when someone mistakes me as a man, but my masculine side is offended when people view me as just a woman. The world would be so much better off if we were all born genderless and open minded.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on November 30th, 2014 at 08:00 am

your voice | 1 comment »

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