I identify as… An androgynous queer human with tranny-faggish tendencies.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … I prefer to not have people use any pronouns, but if they must, then gender neutral “ze” and “hir,” or just “they.”
I’m attracted to… On a strictly surface level, on a “checking people out” level, I’m attracted to mostly female bodied humans who are somewhere between androgynous and masculine on the gender scale. On the level of reality, I fall in love with humans as they are, in whatever form. They may be a male wearing make-up, a high femme female in fishnets and stilettos, or a boi in a suit and tie, ooh, or even better, a boi in carharts and a dirty bandanna fresh off of a freight train…
When people talk about me, I want them to… talk about what a fabulous human I am.
I want people to understand… There is no boy or girl. There is only Human. Person. Homo-sapien. Spirit. Soul. Et cetera.
I’m a student of humanity. I enjoy reading and writing. I have musical tendencies. I like good, strong hugs and genuine conversation with other humans, minus the walls and masks and things.
One of my male cousins that is more like a big brother to me calls me his “Chick-bro.” I always laugh because to me “Chick-bro” means that I have the body of a female, but the mind of a male. He knows and acknowledges both parts of who I am.
We just added a new form to our “Participate” section (it’s on the sidebar) called Ask Genderfork!
Our kick-ass volunteer Booda noticed we were getting a stack of submissions that were really just questions directed back at the community, so we figured, cool, let’s make a whole inbox for that! And here it is. If you’re looking for tips and resources or just want some straight up advice, go use this form like it’s a direct line to a whole lot of smart friends.
This stream of awesomeness will be edited and curated by our fabulous volunteer Zory, who is also master of the Recommendations. (Really ya’ll, Zory freakin rocks.)
I identify as… A tomboy? A virgo. The ninja of love and justice. The gay of demonic charm.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … Feminine is fine but the use of male pronouns would make me giddy inside, though I’m not very manly.
I’m attracted to… Women, females, girlies, etc.
When people talk about me, I want them to… stand on their head, by order of the queen!
I want people to understand… There aren’t any bananas in the ocean. (Serious face)
I’m an eccentric, caffeine-hyped artist. I probably care more about your zodiac sign than what’s in your pants, not that I’m not interested. Really, they’re great pants. I’ve also been known to wander off with strangers offering candy. (laugh)
A very androgynous bus driver called me “sir” today. It made my stomach jump. I was so happy I wanted to hug him. But instead I just smiled (hugely at that) and walked to my seat. I’m not sure if he just knew I was leaning towards the more masculine side or really thought I was a boy… but either way I loved it.
You can call me… JB, which stands for “Jen” and “Ben” — and the gender limbo I live in. According to my wife, it also stands for “her sweet Jenny Bear.” ACK!!!
I identify as… a transgender butch, an FtNF (female to not female).
As far as third-person pronouns go, … about half of my friends use male pronouns for me. Most of my family uses female pronouns. Tongue-tied cashiers usually hit it about 50/50. I cringe when I hear anything feminine in relation to myself.
I’m attracted to… my decidedly NOT butch wife, who nevertheless has an inner butch screaming to get out. That said, transguys and butches make us both hot.
When people talk about me, I want them to… give me a little shit about who I think I am — so I can tell them.
I want people to understand… that not everyone with gender dysphoria has to transition 100 percent. I’ve been able to stop short of using T and surgery (for now at least) to quell my dysphoria because my family, friends and colleagues actually SEE me for who I am, and treat me the way I want to be treated — which is NOT like a woman.
JB is a 46-year-old journalist/writer/editor living in a 73-year-old house in the DC metro area with his wife, two teen daughters, two big dogs and five cats. Over the past decade, he’s covered youth issues for a national publication, and taught journalists how to cover socio-political issues affecting children, youth and families — particularly the disadvantaged.
I was devastated to learn that today I would have to wear a bra for the first time in months. My also genderqueer roommate told me that it’s easier to wear them if you think of them as gun holsters for your boobs. She was right.
I identify as… Human, but only half the time. Genderqueer, Androgynous, pansexual. A boxer-wearing girl. Just like you.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … People throw out she, he, him, her, you, shhherhe when they can’t make up their minds. But the bottom line is people are going to call you what they want, so I see no use in aruging.
I’m attracted to… girls, boys, girly boys, boyish girls, transsexuals, gender-benders, androgyny. I love a good smartass and pretty eyes. You don’t have to look good, but your personality’s gotta be bangin’.
When people talk about me, I want them to… Make sure every word that rubs off their lips is true. If it’s not, it better be a damn good lie.
I want people to understand… Gender doesn’t matter. If you like someone, you like them no matter what. Your mind can’t see gender, but it knows what it likes. Society around us has pushed you into this box of “Girls can only like boys! Boys must only like girls!” Pshhh, whatever! sticking to one gender is boring. I play outside the box.
The NYTimes did this article on “cross-dressing” in high schools, but you might also want to read a fashion scholar’s response to the article and the issue. All I have to say is “Bravo!” to those high schoolers!
A reader just contacted me to discuss how invisible femme gender roles are in the queer community, and what we might be able to do about that. We talked about the possibility of creating a new community expression space that specifically focuses on and celebrates femme identity.
Is this something you’re craving, too? Would you be interested in helping to shape/organize it?
If so, please send me an email at: [ sarah at genderfork dot com ]
… and put “femme identity” in the subject line so I don’t lose it. I’ll get you in the loop.
Lots of love,
Posted by Sarah Dopp on November 25th, 2009 at 02:17 pm
It makes me sad to know that my parents, the ones who so willingly took me to the doctor and had my genitals mutilated when I was too young to speak, are so hesitant to let me get hormone therapy and a nose job.
I identify as… whatever I feel when I regain consciousness in the mornings. Pansexual, gender-free with a hint of the female.
As far as third-person pronouns go, … use anything you like. It doesn’t matter in the end, people are people, whatever their gender, race, sexuality, religion, nationality, anything you can think of. Everybody has a secret and that secret is that they’re not like other people.
I’m attracted to… intelligence, wit, flair, the tortured genius.
When people talk about me, I want them to… respect my standpoint, even if they disagree with it, admire me for my views, whatever theirs may be.
I want people to understand… that when I get angry about their preconceptions about gender or sexuality, amongst other features of humanity, it is not because I’m uncomfortable in myself, as they so often assume, but it is because I would like to protect those I know who are not yet comfortable with who they are, and who stand to be knocked back by lazy stereotypes and misconceptions.
A socialist politics student with a love of comedy from decades past, protest singers and ranting poets.