Reposted from Niyonsarai.

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Hayden Reid asks…

Hey so just last week I came out to my dad and step mom and told them I think that I am transgender. Since then I bought two guy shirts and today I got a lot shorter, more masculine haircut. I also just yesterday figured out a name I would like to go by and one of my coworkers started to use it. I felt fantastic being referred to by the name Hayden, with he/his/him pronouns and I got really happy after my haircut.

However, my parents say they are supportive but they are obviously skeptical. A few weeks before I came out, one of my best friends came out as ftm transgender, which I told my parents about. Since I have come out my step mom has on multiple occasions hinted that she thinks I’m delusional and that I’m some sort of LGBTQ hypochondriac.

When my friend came out and posted a video about it on facebook it broke me out of another phase I was going to go through in trying to be girly, I broke it off with a guy I had been seeing and started to research being transgender with all my free time (not the first time I’ve done that).

Is this a common thing for parents to think you are “catching symptoms” of transgenderism online by doing research? Because in my opinion it’s complete idiocy, especially since my small steps to transition are making me feel better and I can also connect things to my childhood.

What are your thoughts?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Someone wrote…

So my birthday is coming up, and my mom is letting me throw a party. She asked me what color streamers I wanted, and I told her: pink, white, purple, black, and blue.
The colors of the genderfluid flag.
Of course, she doesn’t know that, but all the party guests do, and they support my identity, so…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Orion

I identify as… Genderqueer, transmasculine, stone butch

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They/them/theirs

I’m attracted to… Female-identified and nonbinary-identified folks who I have things in common with

When people talk about me, I want them to… Focus on what I do, not how weird I look. I want my actions to speak for me.

I want people to understand… Don’t ask me things that you can ask google.

About Orion

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

Q: What piece of machinery is needed in a car in order for a genderqueer person to travel in time?

A: A genderflux capacitor

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

dani(ela) asks…

hi, I don’t really know about how this website works or even if I’m using it correctly or not; it’s four in the morning and I’m trying to find help while my family’s asleep. But anyways, I’m thirteen years old and although my assigned gender/sex at birth was female I’ve recently come to terms with myself that I am genderfluid. I know that some of you will say “you’re too young to know” or that I still need time to figure myself out but, I know who I am.

I’ve told some of my closest friends, and most of them have been supportive. My biggest concern is my family though. I live in a lgtbq-phobic home and I’m honestly so terrified about coming out. I don’t know how, or when to do it. I don’t want to wait until I’m in my twenties or in the middle of college. I’m scared crapless of my family, honestly and I live in constant fear of them finding out and kicking me out.

I don’t own any ‘masculine’ clothes that I can wear and I’m just trying to find some ‘unisex’ clothes that my family won’t question. And I really don’t know what to call myself. I’m not a boy, nor a girl. I simply exist as I am and I just want someone that I can talk to about it.

I feel like a disappointment. I really really just want help, and maybe someone that can talk me through this. Please help me, anyone. I don’t know what to do or who to talk to.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Someone wrote…

I’m half a century old and just came out. After spending so many years disconnected from everything and everyone I finally got rid of my depressions. They just vaporized upon coming out. For a long time I could not have known this was it. Then when I knew I was afraid to give in. Now I did and I feel proud and strong and me.

I went to the gender-clinic and could have had surgery but I didn’t want it. Reading about everyone here on Genderfork has helped me a lot. Compared to here even the gender-clinic suffers from binary thinking. Thanks everyone xxxxx

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

One approach on educating a mental health practitioner about being gender fluid, from Conversations with a Gender Therapist.

Note: Educating a mental health provider is not for everyone and not for all situations. If you are geographically isolated and need more options for mental health providers that do not require you to do the educating, please know that providers exist who work through online video chatting and phone options. Hopefully soon My Trans Health will be able to help you locate those providers more easily. For now, GLMA provider search may be of use.

You can call me… Steve

I identify as… femme~boy

As far as third-person pronouns go, … whatever is more convenient.

I’m attracted to… boys/girls

When people talk about me, I want them to… talk highly of me! (;< I want people to understand… acknowledge that my sensitive side isn’t asking for special treatment; that you’re not walking on mines when you talk to me.

About Steve
I have a passion for tuner cars and working on them, soccer, skateboarding, guitar, anime and video games! I’m a big geek for books. I LOVE Jesus Christ and support the Mormon Religion. and I like bugs.

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

Coming out is kind of like an LGBT first communion. Everything has to go perfectly, and usually, having a drunken uncle doesn’t help.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

A short documentary by Sally Tran that touches on some of the many layers of the expression of identity through hair, in this case for a group of API-identified people.

Someone wrote…

Even though I’ve felt like I am not a man/woman or male/female for years I’ve been very good at burying it deeply. In the last couple years being around a lot more lgbt people has helped me realize that there are others that experience things similarly and that they feel it as strongly as I do. I’m not alone in that! So, how I see myself isn’t crazy even though it often feels like it doesn’t make sense that has more to do with my culture than me.

A few months ago I shared with my life partner that I don’t identify as a woman or man. Even though it was super awkward and embarrassing for me he was kind. I was really iffy on whether or not I wanted to use different pronouns and when I decided I did he was enthusiastically ready to make a change. He even discussed it with our roommate which made it a lot easier on me.

Now that I have someone in my life who is helping me so much in that arena I don’t feel nearly so bad about my gender and preference for they-pronouns. I’m not ready to talk about all of it but I know that when I am he’ll be there for me and it means the world to me. Now, despite moving to a more conservative part of the country I am more secure in my identity.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone wrote…

This is so confusing. I may just be a teenager dealing with normal teen hormones and things like that I mean I turn 15 in a week but I don’t feel feminine or girly? I thought I was a trans boy for a while and I tried genderfluid for a little bit too but nothing seems to fit.
I dunno what to do or what to tell my friends. I want to get a binder but that would mean I have to come out to my parents and I just don’t think I’m ready.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone asks…

I’m 23 years old and AFAB, and just this year I started identifying as genderfluid. I’ve never felt like anything other than female all my life, now all of the sudden, this year, there are days and even weeks where I am just definitely not-female before I feel feminine again. I’ve started binding, and it feels great–I look how I FEEL I should look on my not-girl days.

I think I’m genderfluid androgyne/female, and I’m comfortable with that only…is this normal? Most of the narratives I’ve seen seem to have people knowing “something was different” about them in their earlier childhood.

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Someone wrote…

Six one-word AFAB genderfluidity struggles:

Binder. Dating. Tomboy. Explaining. Pronouns. Passing.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Everyone could use someone in their corner. Even if it’s just future them. See the stories of these beautiful people in this article.

Someone wrote…

I want to be androgynous but I don’t know if that makes me trans or like not cis? I’m happy with being a girl, and using female pronouns, etc. But I want to look like a guy also…without cosmetic surgery. I’m just really confused and I like the idea of wearing male clothing and having some phenotype of a male.

I’m not confused about my gender, like I know I am female, and I am 1000% ok with that, but I still want to have male and female phenotype and clothing. Help???

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Bo

I identify as… Agender

As far as third-person pronouns go, …

I’m attracted to… People

When people talk about me, I want them to…

I want people to understand… I’m human

About Bo
I find long walks alone are simply meditative and yet very contemplative at the same time. When I walk I think about many things but not really thinking about them at all. So things just go through and out of my head. It’s a sort of self purification for me. I like to walk under a light rain, but never had the chance to actually do it, because people might think I’m mad…

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

I’ve reached a point where I’m so confused about gender that, while I’m still not able to pinpoint if I’m a trans dude or just a neutrois that like to present masculine, I’m starting to accept that gender is complex and it’s okay if I can’t define mine totally, which gives me more freedom to present as male and choose a name, which just makes me really happy.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Cameron asks…

When are there any conventions for the genderqueer community?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «