Anon asks…

Here’s the backstory: I work at a front desk. One of our customers had an androgynous appearance–“male” body, “femme” clothes, but their voice, body language, etc. did not give me the impression that ze was trans. I didn’t ask what pronoun ze preferred, because when another coworker referred to them as “he”, ze did not protest. Should I have asked anyway?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

ensinuate (80/365), originally uploaded by sea legs snapshots.

Someone wrote…

I like boots— always have. I’ve been accused of “stomping around” in them, of being un-ladylike. I have kept a pair of Blundstones for years without wearing them much, so as to avoid “stomping.” They were in the back of my closet, gathering dust. The more aware I become of how I have pushed down my gender noncomformity in my life so far, the more I wear those boots. Now I want ten more pairs of boots— with steel toes, with worn leather, with buckles and heavy soles. Stomping is just a part of being the real me. Wearing non-girly boots = facing my fears and finding joy.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Jessen or Jack. Either one is fine.

I identify as… Fabulous

As far as third-person pronouns go, … Anything goes, male/female/neutral – but I’ll be happy if you refer to me as male.

I’m attracted to… Honesty, curiosity, creativity

When people talk about me, I want them to… See me for who I am. Call me out on any BS I give.

I want people to understand… People are people and all people deserve empathy and respect. If you want to be accepted, you have to first accept yourself, then other people.

About Jessen/Jack
I am a writer, and an artist, and I want to help people through my writing/art, especially kids. I’m also vegan and very passionate about animal welfare.

» Define yourself. «

Me at +SALVATION+ 02-21-10, originally uploaded by Père Malfait.

“‘Lisa-Lulu’ / Januar (Tony) Ciel ’76” submitted by Januar, the model

Januar writes, “The only pic I have right now that was taken of me on the set of an artistic independent film I made with Craig Zarah and Debbie Harry and some cool Warhol and Bowie scene people. It was an expressionistic abstract narrative story, in which I had the lead. I’m male, and I was sincerely portraying a young woman. The original film (in a rough unfinished ‘test’ cut) had a cult following in the downtown NY scene. Currently, it is not yet available, as it was damaged in storage and was never finished in editing…. With some funding and time, it may yet be seen!”

“Conducting the Orchestra” submitted by Ai, the model

Ai says, “Conducting has been exclusively a white, elderly, male role for centuries.  The world is changing!”

Cecil wrote…

I was very angry one morning as I went to home room. People were just fantastically ignorant, it seemed, and the world was falling down. While I was sitting there in my own little bubble of anger, I caught sight of something. Leg hair. My teacher’s leg hair. My beautiful, “feminine” teacher doesn’t shave her legs. Just like me. At that moment, all of my anger left me, and my faith in humankind came back to me. It was like a little moment of zen.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

“5 3/4″” submitted by Christopher, the model

Denim skirt for both, originally uploaded by M. Pamplemousse.

Beck recommends…

This is a French garage-rock-dance band that has a genderqueer lead singer! Catchy music and ambiguous gender = sheer awesome.

» Recommend something. «

“untitled” submitted by Jess, the model and photographer

n13962954_48590943_8889, originally uploaded by queerkitten.

Johanna recommends…

This zine is a collection of really amazing writing, drawing, and photography on masculine femininities and other paths of gender identity exploration. There are three editions so far, each with a slightly different character. I especially enjoyed reading about claiming femininity or femme identity from a trans-male or masculine identified place. But you’ll find that the zine explores other themes too. Many contributions speak subtly and honestly about how gender, including gender-nonconformity, is tinged with more potentially anxiety-provoking ideas about race and body-image, how one is seen by lovers, how one makes a living, etc.

» Recommend something. «

You can call me… Emile

I identify as… mostly nothing. “No, no gender for me, thanks.” Also: asexual, loner, geek, politically queer and pan/a-romantic, among other things.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … “ze” and “hir” are preferable, but I’m not picky.

I’m attracted to… brains, creativity, curiosity, and an open mind — in any sex/gender combination.

When people talk about me, I want them to… realize that their assumptions about my gender are probably wrong; gender is more than just a person’s body and how they dress it.

I want people to understand… that gender isn’t as important as Society tells us it is. Just be you, whatever gender(s) that happens to fall under.

About Emile
Emile is a high school student in the United States. Ze spends hir days reading, teaching hirself piano, and finding weird stuff on the Internet. Ze plans to study neuroscience and get a job in research.

» Define yourself. «

Johnny Weir – 2008 Skate America, originally uploaded by WordOfMouth.

Someone wrote…

I am a woman, and present myself as such. This does not mean I am anybody else’s expectation of what a woman is, but my own. I’m always reinventing the meaning of womanhood by just being myself, and knowing that whatever the result of being myself is, it is being a woman. I think that goes for everybody and any gender identity they may have.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Natalie, a self-identified female with an XY karyotype, posts “a documentary of my induced puberty.” Follow-up to the crisis: Natalie seeks to replace Premarin with Evista.

Maybe you’ve noticed that our little underground blog has been starting to burst at the seams — we sure as hell have. There are a lot of you! About 1200 of you a day! (Hi! We’re so glad you’re here!)

And you can imagine what our submission piles look like right now. Again, we’re sorry if you’ve sent us stuff and haven’t seen it published. But having been listening to you quite a bit, I’m also learning that getting published, most of the time, isn’t really the point. The point is self-expression, identity exploration, and finding support.

We think our daily publication is awesome as-is, and we don’t want to mess with it. But we also want to give you a better way to talk to each other, because all this connecting is really freaking important. So our plan is to build a community forum (aka a message board) — separate from the blog but still at Genderfork.com — for open discussion.

If you’ve ever been an active member of an internet forum, you know that this is a pretty significant undertaking. There’s a lot to consider around what we want to encourage and what we want to discourage. We want your input on those decisions.

So! If you want us to create a Genderfork Forum, and you’d like to help us decide how it would be most awesome, please sign up for this discussion list:

We’d really love your help.

What will happen next…

We’re going to wait until early next week before we start this discussion, so that more people will have time to get on the list first.  This means that after you join, nothing will happen for a few days (and if you try to talk, the system won’t let you).  Just sit tight — we’ll send out a discussion kick-off email when we think it’s time to start.

Then… once we’re talking, we’ll collaboratively pin down things like:

– What should the discussion categories be in the forum?
– What are our moderation guidelines?

And a bunch of other stuff.

And when we’re ready to create the forums, the people on this discussion list will be invited as the first members.  Your job will be to just start talking, and to set the tone for everyone else.

Want in? Just sign up above.

Thanks and love,
Sarah Dopp
Founder of Genderfork

my park, originally uploaded by bbheart.