Category: questions


Question: Insight into androgynous expression?


Someone asks…

I was assigned female at birth, but I identify as androgynous. I’m lucky, since I don’t look very feminine anyhow, and since I prefer to dress very casually, I seem to pass as male in most situations.

That’s fine on a daily basis, but every now and then I feel bad about it, because I’m not a man and I’d rather be read as androgynous. I’d like to incorporate something more feminine in my gender expression, but that seems like a minefield, since I don’t want to go back to being read as female.

On the other hand that may just be something I tell myself because I’ve gotten so used to the privileges of being read as male and am secretly afraid of the repercussions of being read as a femme man, even though that would seem to be a more accurate description of my identity on some days.

I’m not even sure what I’m asking. Insight into androgynous expression? Tips on how to be more confident about not presenting traditionally masculine? Anything’s welcome.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on May 13th, 2017 at 08:00 am

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Question: What label to use for my gender?


Zader asks…

YO! Ok, so I’ve been just using the term “non-binary” although it is an umbrella term because I’m not sure what my actual gender is. I’ve been thinking about either demiboy or demifluid? I was born with female anatomy, but I’m not a girl. At all. How I describe it is that I’m fluid between a boy and an agender. That’s mainly what it is, I think. So, can anyone help me figure out what term works for me? I’m not exactly sure what to call myself as of now, and I’d really like to find a label that fits!

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on May 2nd, 2017 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Question: Parent is unsure


A parent asks…

My 18 year old child wants to have breast removal surgery, and has no interest in anything further. They have been wearing a binder for several years. They want to have the surgery before starting college in the fall. I want to support them, and at the same time I worry that maybe as a parent I ought to have them wait in case they may later change their mind. I can use any input. Thanks.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 30th, 2017 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: How do you figure it out?


Kevyn asks…

How do you figure out who you are? I would very much like to figure out who or what I am. I’m a mature male, gay, but feel very feminine at times. It used to be a 50/50 feeling, but know its more 80/20 feminine. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated on where to start looking for a definition.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 22nd, 2017 at 08:00 am

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Question: What if you’re 80?


Galatea asks…

Can you reach eighty & realize that you were meant to be a boy not a girl? It is a little late to realize this, but when I consider my life, I realize that unconsciously I was meant to be a boy. I have always loved fast cars, wanted to sky-dive & perhaps fly a plane. I have never really fallen in love with a man or been madly attracted to them, nor them to me, which has made me ponder now.

I would have liked to have driven fast cars, sky-dived or flown a plane. Perhaps joined the military & risen to a senior staff member position.

It is a little late to discover this & unfortunately, you can’t turn back the clock.

I have just wondered if other males or females have wished they were the other sex.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 19th, 2017 at 08:00 am

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Question: fluid? demigirl?


Someone asks…

I need help. I’m a 15 year old biological female and have gone by that all my life but for the past couple of months I’ve been questioning my gender. I’ve been doing research and I think I may be genderfluid. Even long before I questioned my gender, there would be days where I felt way more boyish and days where I felt more girly than normal but most of the time I just did my own thing. But now that I’ve looked into it, I’m more confused than ever. I’m trying to keep track of it but it becomes very frustrating, especially when most of the time I don’t feel particularly any way. I’m also fine with just using female pronouns, but haven’t experimented with male or neutral pronouns. I’ve also seen demigirl and think I could be that along with fluid but I’m not sure if that makes me “less” fluid. Could I just be a girl who’s overthinking this? I honestly don’t know.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on March 22nd, 2017 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Question: Pant Sizes?


Ben asks…

Okay, so I’m finally beginning to feel comfortable with myself, I’m finally deciding to buy whatever clothes I like no matter if they are “mens” or “womens”. I have a problem with confidence in buying clothes when I am by myself, though. Anyway, that not what this is about. I have some questions concerning women’s pants size.

I know my waist which is a 6-8 but my leg length I am very unsure of. And when I am shopping by myself I get scared of asking what pants I should buy and what sizes fit me best. I would shop online, but with out knowing my leg size I cannot. my only question is, is this: if I am a mens 30 waist and 34 leg length, what does that make my leg length in women’s? I’m lost and very confused as to what to do in this matter and because of my shyness i am afraid to ask people in the store. please help. Also, these are U.S. sizes, if that matters.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on March 10th, 2017 at 08:00 am

questions | 4 comments »

Question: Older but genderfluid


Sophie asks…

I recently (last year) identified as genderfluid, but here’s the thing – I’ve just turned 61! I’d love to know how many ‘older’ genderfluid people you have on this site, as I have so many questions. As much as I love hearing from and about the many beautiful younger non-binary people in the world, for those of us who only got here later in life (although recognising now that we’ve always been that way), it can feel pretty confusing. I was born male, and have presented as male throughout my life, so one of my big questions is how I can ‘feminize’ myself, so that the half of me that is female can show herself a bit more?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on February 28th, 2017 at 08:00 am

questions | 5 comments »

Question: Is my gender fluid or flux??


Ryan asks…

A while ago I started identifying as agender or greygender. I definitely feel that a part of me is neutral and has an absense of gender. Some days or for a series of days, I feel more feminine and more connected to being a girl, but not completely. Then other days that feeling is absent. I recently found the terms “demifluid” and “demiflux” and I’m trying to understand those terms further. Any help would be very appreciated!

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 29th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: Should genderqueer people apply for free binder programs?


Ellie/Eli asks…

I’m never sure as a poverty stricken genderqueer person if I’m eligible for some of the free binder programs I’ve seen. I want a binder – I have serious dysphoria on my male days – but they tend to say they’re for transmen only. I don’t want to take anything from my transmen bros – at least I feel comfortable in my skin sometimes – but I also feel really hurt by my physical state every time I’m a male with crazy huge breasts. What are your thoughts?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 25th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: Passing as Genderless


A.Nonny.Mouse asks…

Hello. So, I’m Agender (Genderless) as I would like to be perceived that way. I don’t know how to ‘pass’ for genderless, as I’m afraid I will be seen as masculine. (I was born female.) I thought binding might help, but I’m unsure. Any tips/suggestions would be amazing! Thank you!

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 21st, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: I might be a transgender male and I have no idea what to do


Kris asks…

I’m 19 and I was born a female. I’ve always had this feeling that I would of rather been born a boy. But, I kind of pushed it back and went on with my life. But lately, I’ve been depressed.

For about a year now, I’ve been really caught up the fact I might be trans and I don’t know what to do. I really don’t think my mom would accept me, or my sister for that matter. But, I think my dad and my brother would be okay with it.
That being said I don’t even know if I want to “come out” or “transition” because I feel ashamed and embarrassed to be honest. I did tell my dad I was depressed about a month or two ago, and when he asked if I knew why, I just told him I don’t know. We talked about it a bit, I cried the whole time I told him and the rest of the day after.

I just feel like such a disappointment, and he was so supportive. He asked if I wanted to see a therapist or anything, and I told him no at the time, however, I think I should tell him I’ve changed my mind. That being said I would go to a therapist for depression. Will the therapist be able to tell I’m having gender identity issues?
Should I tell them?

I’m really unsure of how to approach any of this and all I’m feeling is upset, stressed and depressed about this situation because I know that transitioning is hard and I know that I would of rather been born a boy, but I don’t know if I would want to transition.

Also, I’m pretty much just attracted to guys, so would that make me gay, as well if I identified as a ftm? And if that’s the case wouldn’t it make sense to just be a female and straight?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 15th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: How can I be butch in my body?


Charlotte asks…

I am a curvy woman. I have huge boobs (which I wish I didn’t have at all) and huge hips and a shapely body.

My whole life I’ve never wanted to present feminine. I feel like I only suit women’s clothes, but I hate myself in them. They just feel like they don’t belong to me. It freaks me out if people say they would consider me femme.

I haven’t presented butch since I was a child and I don’t know how to make my gender presentation feelings fit with my adult body. I work in an office and I need to look presentable. How do I do this? Please help me!

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 7th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: Pronouns


Mars asks…

Hey, I’m afab agender who’s having problems with pronouns. I’m currently using she/her pronouns because it’s what I’m used to and what most people default to anyway, but the truth is I hate it. Unfortunately, I also seem to hate he/him and they/them pronouns. I’ve looked into neopronouns, but while I can use them for other people, they don’t feel right in relation to myself either. Does anybody have any advice to offer about what I should do?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on May 18th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: Binding help?


asks…

Is it normal for your nipples to get extremely swollen/puffy after binding? I’ve been binding since late July last year and it’s been an issue since about September.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on May 2nd, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: Gender Identity


Adrian asks…

Hey, I’m 20 years old, currently female. However, though I’ve always felt neutral/cis about my gender, only recently have I felt like perhaps I’d be happier as male.

I don’t really have /dysphoria/ about my body, exactly, but there isn’t really any love their either. I suppose I was taught to accept what I have before even stopping to think about the possibility that I might not be female after all.

I like feminine things, but growing up, as well as recently, I’ve never really been /feminine/, you know? I’ve always seen myself as more gender neutral, but I’ve only just now stopped to think that maybe I could be trans? Like, it’s only really hit me recently that just because I can be feimine, doesn’t mean that I’m female.

But I feel like I’m too old to only just be figuring this out now. Is there anyone here that only discovered themselves at an older age?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 26th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: Coming Out


asks…

How did you come out to your parents and loved ones?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 22nd, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: How to help a genderfluid friend


F asks…

What can I do to help a friend who realized they are genderfluid and don’t really know how to cope with it?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on April 16th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Question: questioning gender


Sarah asks…

I’m new to this whole thing.. The other day I started to question my gender.

There’s been times when I thought I wish I could grow a beard. Especially when I was younger. That’s all I wanted was to pee standing up, grow a beard, and be able to shave my face like my dad.

I went out in full boy’s clothes binder and all the other day. I didn’t feel better or worse. I do plan on doing it again next time I leave the house just to keep on getting a feel for it.

I’m just trying to figure out where I belong. I remembered how happy I was when I first came out as pansexual, and I want to find that sense of fulfillment again and figure out where I stand gender wise. Part of me loves being feminine and wearing dresses, but I’ve always felt comfortable in guy’s clothes as well. I don’t know if that’s just because they tend to hide more of my insecurities, or if there’s more to it. I’ve never liked being called by my name either. Like my name is something you’d call me only if I did something bad.

I would really appreciate it if someone could help me find where I belong..


Posted by on March 16th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Question: Packing


Someone asks…

I identify as Androgyne and Genderfluid and I bind at times and have recently started to consider packing. (I don’t want to be male as I feel very androgynous, if I’m pushed leaning a little more towards the female side).

Where can I get a really small packer from so that it wasn’t too noticeable that I was packing? I want to be VERY discreet about it and I only really want to use a packer so that I know I’m doing it if that makes any sense?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on February 19th, 2016 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

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