Category: questions


Question: Coming out genderfluid


Aelin asks…

I’m genderfluid and 15 but I’m in the process of coming out. I’ve come out to some of my close friends and my 11-year-old brother, but not my parents. My parents are supporters of the LGBT+ community, but don’t believe genderfluidity exists and is ultimately a form of gender-questioning.

I’m unsure how to come out to them, but as I’ll be living with them for a while longer, I feel somewhat uncomfortable keeping it from them. Any advice?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on August 26th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | Comment »

Question: How do I stop feeling stuck?


Liam asks…

Just out of high school, starting to transition from female to male. I have a new name, and I’ve come out to my parents (and close family). I can’t reasonably start therapy since I’ll be moving away to college in August.

But since I’ve told myself that, my dysphoria has been getting worse, and every misgendering instance at work has been driving me insane. I feel like I’m stuck – I can’t do any hormone therapy for another 2-3 years (singing is getting me scholarship money and I can’t risk that). In the meantime, I have no clue on how to feel as though I’m progressing in my transition. I’m caught between barely-supportive parents and college expenses, and I’m completely helpless.

Can anyone offer some advice?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on August 18th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: Testosterone for genderfluid dysphoria?


K. Julian asks…

I am a genderfluid person with a very obviously “female” body (ie. big hips, large breasts, hourglass figure, high/soft voice, small shoulders, short). I have accepted that the world will always see me as a woman who occasionally cross dresses, as I can’t change my height, bone structure and don’t want to commit to top surgery (though I do think about it sometimes). I am lucky to work for an LGBTQ organization that accepts and acknowledges my identity, but I still experience occasional dysphoria about my features.

My question is about Testosterone. If I could begin to grow facial hair that might be enough. I would love a drop in voice but I am a trained singer and I’m afraid it would ruin years of work I’ve put into learning about my specific voice. Could someone with experience and/or knowledge about taking T give me a rundown of treatment options, general cost, pros/cons? I’d really appreciate it.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on August 16th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: Agender and dreaming of a Hysterectomy


Elm asks…

I am Agender and suffer from Gender Dysphoria, a big part of my Disphoria stems from my female cycles, which only serve to remind me of my female body.

I am on the pill, but I have learned quite quickly that it only serves as a control and not an eradication of the problem.

I am interested in getting a hysterectomy. I do not care if I have biological children or not so that is not an issue.

I want to know if this option is available to me? Advice from people who have had the operation? And lastly I want to know the opinion/advice the readers of Genderfork can give me about this?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on August 10th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: Does this make me trans/non-binary?


¯\_(?)_/¯ asks…

This might sound stupid, but am I transgender/non-binary if I feel the need to look androgynous rather than girly at times? Like, I want to easily give off a genderless, for lack of a better term, at times, and sometimes I want a more masculine vibe, and sometimes I want a more feminine vibe.

Does that mean I’m non-binary?

I hope that doesn’t sound dumb or offensive, I’m just legitimately confused.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on August 4th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 5 comments »

Question: How to Celebrate Starting T in a Positive way?


Someone asks…

how do you not only celebrate starting T in the positive way, but also give yourself the space and time to respect the sadness that leaving the female version of you behind brings?

To all FTMs: did you take some time out on your own, or rather spend time with lots of people? Did you feel sad at all? How did you spend your last days on female hormones?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on August 2nd, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Question: documenting the transition


the german asks…

any creative ideas to document a transition? How do I make a blog or a vlog funny and interesting, should I take pictures as well? What about a good old photo-collage? I get a Little bored by all those similar YouTube Videos, so are there any other ways to record/document and track the whole process of transitioning?

I am not good in making Videos, not good in talking, singing, reading…(to record the voice and how it changes…)and I am not good in photography. As I am a lover of painting and drawing (but again, not good at it) and writing, I can`t really think of something “Special” to follow my own Transition. My head is empty. How do you do it?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 27th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Question: Don’t You Forget About He (and They)


Riley asks…

I’m genderfluid, with (officially) no preference regarding pronouns – or at least, that’s what I tell people. Being dfab (designated female at birth), I’ve responded to she/her for my whole life. I don’t mind this, and in fact I’m used to it, but some variety would be nice.

How could I convince squad to change up the pronouns they use to describe me? (My particular goal is for my best friend at least to use different pronouns.)

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 23rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 1 comment »

Question: How do I date as a genderqueer individual?


Chrissy asks…

How do I go about dating as a genderqueer individual?

I’m into females… and other genderqueer people…

It’s hard to present the way I want in everyday life… Often I just have to settle for looking like a ‘bloke’ – to avoid issues with family or at work. When I meet new people, whether over the internet or in person, it’s tricky to let people know that they’re not getting into a relationship with a ‘man’ as such.

And then when I do try online dating – like Tinder, I have to tick a box – ‘Male’ or ‘Female’. And then what do I put as my dating photo – the ideal, outside me that I am able to present as every now and again, or the version that’s least likely to get their hopes up that people see at work or around my family…

Thoughts?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 13th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: Am I Trans?


Tory asks…

Hi everyone. I’m 22 and born and raised as a girl. I have always been pretty masculine and dressed more neutral. But I recently realized I have always despised being called she. I took karate and ballet but in both I hung out with the guys and wanted to be them. I thought I was just gay or something but now I think it might be more.

How did you know you were trans? Am I?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 10th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: Binding and growth


Corey asks…

I’m gender fluid and my parents are against me binding because they think that it will affect my growth (I’m 13) and that the changes that will happen to my breast tissue are a huge problem. Will binding affect my growth? And if not are there any ways to convince my parents that it’s safe?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 9th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 4 comments »

Question: If I’m a demigirl am I still a woman?


asks…

I’ve basically just begun my journey of seriously exploring my gender identity and trying to figure who I really am. I’m dfab and I’ve always identified with being a girl/woman, but I guess being just a woman always felt like it was an incomplete definition, like I always felt some kind of otherness in my gender too that was separate?

The label demigirl seems to mesh with a lot of what I’m feeling, but I’m just confused because because I’m trying to acknowledge the part of myself I haven’t before, without denying the part of me that identifies with womanhood.

Has anyone else struggled with this?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on July 1st, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: Mum of transgender child needs advise


Slinky asks…

Hi – I’m the mother of a 15 year old daughter. My daughter only 8 weeks ago was in bikini’s on the beach wearing make up and hanging with her boyfriend – all fitting the gender stereotype.
My daughter now has discussed that she may be transgender, quickly followed by a very dramatic hair cut and the borrowing of her brothers clothes and refusal to shave leg or armpit hair.

My response was that we love her no matter what gender she is now or in the future, but that she should take a bit more time before she makes any more sudden changes to her look as she needs to process the feelings she is having. ( I also need some processing time but I didn’t say that to her ) She has linked with school counsellor and met once.

I would be really interested from anyone on this site who can inform and educate me so that I can be supportive to my daughter but also reassured that she isn’t jumping forward to quickly.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on June 23rd, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 9 comments »

Question: Should I Pretend to be cis for Job Interviews?


Z asks…

I’m having a very hard time trying to find a job.

I’m ftm and pre-T and very short so I definitely don’t pass as male. I’ve been out of work for 3 months, I’ve had 4 interviews, and no offers. I’m considering just pretending to be a cis female next time I have an interview so I can hurry up and get a job before I starve.
That’s how I got my last job but I had to deal with being called the wrong name and pronouns (which is why I don’t have that job anymore, I kind of had a mental breakdown and walked out in the middle of a shift).

I don’t want to deal with that again, but I need money like right now….

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on June 19th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 3 comments »

Question: What’s my gender? Who am I?


Annie Anonymous asks…

I was born female. I’ve never really been a girly-girl, but I’ve never been a boy either. I hate my breasts, and want them removed as soon as possible. I don’t like being a girl. I fit no stereotypes of being a girl, but I fit few stereotypes of being a boy. I heard the term non-binary a few months ago, and I immediately knew that I connected with that. I’ve heard multiple terms that I know don’t sound like me. Genderfluid, for example. I know that’s not me. I don’t identify with either gender.

The thing is, I’m terrified to transition. I know I want top surgery, but I don’t think I want hormone replacement surgery. I don’t know how to talk to my parents, let alone my friends. I know how much I’d be judged at school, though that doesn’t really matter to me. I don’t really mind pronouns. They don’t really bother me, though I like the sound of they and them and their more than he and she.

I’ve heard the term third gendered, and I think that’s who I am. I feel that I have a gender, but it’s not male or female. I feel like there isn’t a name for it. I hate that I have to go into women’s toilets, or buy clothes from the men’s section, (Girl’s clothes are too pink and frilly, so I wear boys’). I hate that society is so binary.

How did you transition, anyone with similar experiences? Slowly, or all at once? Is there any advice you can give me?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on June 13th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 4 comments »

Question: Maybe it’s a phase?


Crime asks…

I’m 13 close to 14 and I’ve been questioning my gender for a couple of years now. I was born a female but I’m masculine and dress up like a male. On the other hand though, I don’t think I’m transgender because I’m still feminine and sometimes dress like a woman. I understand that you can be a cross dressing male/female, but there are times where I don’t want to only be called a male, or a female.
So, I’ve come the conclusion that I’m either genderqueer or genderfluid. But, I’m at such a young age, I don’t know if this is just a phase or not. I strongly feel these things about my gender, but I don’t know if I’m too young to make such a big decision for the rest of my life.

There’s nothing stopping me from changing my gender, I just don’t want to regret in the future if I decide to be a female or male. So my question is if y’all could give me advice about choosing your gender(s) and how to chose it wisely so I won’t have any regrets.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on June 7th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 9 comments »

Question: What Should I do?


MasterRK9 asks…

I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m bisexual, and that will never change. But on discovering that, I’ve uncovered a more perplexing labyrinth of lies and confusion for myself. I’ve come out to my friends that I’m bisexual and they’re okay with that, but I don’t know how’ll they react to telling them I think I’m trans, let alone to my parents.

My parents are traditional, with a nuclear relationship and career status. My sisters all have severe health issues, fibromyalgia, and other horrible diseases that are engraved in genetics, and I don’t have that, so it appears that I’m the one that’s “normal”. If I told them now I was a bisexual trans, it would put more stress on them. They love me, no matter what, they told me directly, even if I were homosexual, but I’m not prepared for the questioning. My dad will question every minute detail there is, even though I’m still confused, and my mom will just yell at me until I answer my dad. They both love yelling, but that’s the one things that deteriorates me fastest. But if I respond better to a softer tone, it’ll only confuse them even more which will lead to more questions and yelling.

I’m thinking I should wait until my dad is deployed somewhere and tell my mom since she’ll take it in easier and then be the one to break it to him. I haven’t told my parents my sexual orientation, nor about what I’ve been feeling for the past 6 years.

I’ve told specs of my thoughts to one of my closest friends, since I’ll know she won’t care, and she doesn’t, but there’s another that I know will never let go of it, and rub it in my face until the end of time.

I’m fourteen now, born female, and I don’t like it. I like it when people call me by male pronouns by mistake, but it feels awkward, even with female pronouns. I relate more with my guy friends, in a close, tight group of 7, 5 girls and 2 boys, but they all act the same. I want to wear more masculine clothing and do more things that’s more associated with boys, but my parents won’t let me. Especially my dad. He decides what I wear, so it’s really girly things, but I’ve manipulated him now to wear more what I want, but it’s still really feminine. I want to wear what my tomboy friend wears, since it’s still a little feminine as a compromise, but he won’t allow it. I’ve already decided that when I have enough money, I’ll get my breasts removed (they’re annoying). And even my screen name is Master, instead of Mistress.

I want to tell them, everyone, but I can’t handle what they’ll ask me. Especially my parents. My mom has seriously considered sending me to a therapist for my anger and violence (it’s also genetic, doesn’t helps with my muscular build). So I’m planning on getting to the point where she’ll send me to the therapist, and tell them.

I really need help. I have no relations with other LGBT in real life, but if I start going to recreation centers and conventions for them, they’ll start questioning me. I can’t explain anything to save my life to anyone I know, so I’m asking people I don’t know. What should I do?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on June 4th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions, your voice | 1 comment »

Question: Am I Demiflux, Demifluid, or Genderfluid?


Gabe asks…

Hello, my name is Gabe (not my real name). I am for sure panromantic. I am still confused about sexuality, though I am most likely Demisexual. I am also confused about my gender. I have been going by genderfluid, but upon researching more about gender, I have started questioning it.

I have come upon the terms “Demiflux” and “Demifluid” I was beginning to think, I may be one of those. When I fluctuate between being female, male, both, or neither, I still feel a small tiny bit of male inside. (I was born as a female. I am not out to anyone about anything, yet) I was thinking I was a Demiboy. But I feel a small part Boy, sometimes the rest is female, sometimes I feel like both. It may not make sense, but sometimes half of me is boy, the other half is boy and girl? I am unsure and new to these terms, so I’m not sure what I am.

I also wanted to ask, can a genderfluid person be demiboy and genderqueer/genderfluid at the same time?

Can genderfluid fluctuate between demiboy, female, male, both, etc. Thank you very much!

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on June 1st, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

Question: How to Change my Voice Pitch


Eli asks…

so I’m 15 and dfab (designated female at birth) and I’ve been having trouble with my gender for a year or two now. at first I thought it was like some internalised misogyny going on but sometimes I really feel like I’d be happier being a boy but other times I’m pretty chill with being a girl.

The problem is, while I don’t have a super high voice, it’s recognisably feminine, I can make it go down a pitch or two of I try but it’s still pretty high. I wanted to know if there’s any way I can make my voice deeper or have the ability to go deeper without testosterone.

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on May 28th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 5 comments »

Question: Binding for bigger people?


Lee asks…

How well does binding work for heavy people?

I’m 5’3 208 lbs and unfortunately carry all of my weight in my tummy and breasts.

I’m just starting to explore my gender fully and I really want to start binding but binders are pretty expensive and I want to make sure I splurge and get a really good one instead of buying and sampling a bunch that don’t really work for bigger people.

Any suggestions?

Please post your response in the comments below.

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Posted by on May 20th, 2015 at 08:00 am

questions | 2 comments »

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