Someone wrote…

I kind of want to try and do my last year of school as openly agender, but I’m not sure people would understand if I did. I wish I could, but I don’t know if I’d be safe doing that. Forcing myself to present as female is really stressful for me but the people I’m going to school with are really… not nice.

Considering what happens to the only other openly trans person at my school, I don’t think I’d be able to cope with their actions…

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Gabriel

I identify as… A gender fluid teenage punk

As far as third-person pronouns go, … He/Him and once in a while she/her (If I’m in the mood) But if you misgender me really it’s alright, I won’t be upset. But I am going to correct you.

I’m attracted to… anyone pretty much. I don’t have a specific attraction, If I like you then I like you. I just don’t want to be limited to one specific type.

When people talk about me, I want them to… be careful with what they choose to say.

I want people to understand… that we don’t have the right to judge. And also to respect everyone’s opinions. Even if it is an awful opinion as long as they keep it to themselves and it doesn’t harm anyone then that’s on them.

About Gabriel
I’m trash but I’m good quality trash. A trash prince.

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

I just want to be loved for the man that I am.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Matthew/Melisa asks…

So, back in July of 2015 I came out to my mom. She’s the first person in my family I’ve told that I was gender-fluid. I kinda bungled the explanation, and asked her not to tell anyone else. But, as of now, it’s been almost 3 months, and she hasn’t said a word to me about it. The house is emptying, since my sister went to college and my brothers moved out. I want to bring it up again, because now that the house is empty I can crossdress, at least around the house, without fear of consequence, but my clothing options are limited to what my sister has left behind and what my trans friend has that fits me. My mom said she would support me, so is there any way for me to bring up being Gender-Fluid again without shoving it in her face? Or should I just wait another year before I go off to college?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Someone wrote…

I waited for me being sure
I waited for therapy
I waited for the right time to come out to my family and friends
I waited for T
I waited for a new job because my old boss fired me
I wait for a little bit of passing
I wait for not being mistaken for a lesbian or just a girl
I wait for my name change
I wait for my mother to stop ignoring my transition

I am sick of waiting! That kind of waiting that equals fighting to survive and reach the next step with the last bit of energy. Will this ever stop?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Mar

I identify as… Genderfluid

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They/ them/ their

I’m attracted to… All genders and sexes. Just not everyone, some people suck. :)

When people talk about me, I want them to… Be respectful of which gender I am at the time, and not be ignorant asses. I’m just a person who’s terrified to come out of the closet, and I need some support and guidance to decide how I should and when I should.
I need to know this isn’t a phase. <3

I want people to understand… That whether or not I’m a guy or a girl, it is really hard for a genderfluid. I hate my boobs, and I hate the fact I don’t have any guy parts. I don’t know if genderfluid is the correct term for me, maybe even transsexual. I just need a friend who understands where I’m coming from and can help me through the whole process. This is the first time I’ve ever said on the internet that I’m not a girl. I need a binder, badly. And I can’t find any ace bandage, so I wear 2-3 sports bras.

About Mar
I’m 16, I like to play bass guitar and I love to push my physical limits.
I love Family guy, Supernatural, Naruto, and gaming. (PC, Xbox, etc)
I’m a nerd or a geek, whichever is more fitting.
I’m not exceptionally social, and I like stargazing.
Oh, I’m pretty short. 5″2 actually. Try appearing strong and masculine and be 5″2. Not easy.

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

I feel really guilty whenever I read other people’s positive experiences with coming out because mine hasn’t been the best and I’m so jealous all the time. I’m agender, and my mom still refers to me as female and says I “Have to be a girl” and that I “Don’t get a choice”. I can’t come out to the rest of my family because most of them are really transphobic and would probably get me kicked out, and the only friend I could live with lives a very long way away…

And although most of my friends are decently respectful most of the ones I had when I came out for the first time barely ever remembered my name and pronouns, even though they *never* forgot a mutual friend’s when he came out… Plus they think I’m aromantic just because I’m asexual, and I’m not and it sucks… But hey, my best friends right now are really really good about remembering my name and pronouns and don’t treat me like I have to be aro just because I’m ace, and I really appreciate it, so uh… look on the bright side I suppose!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Pala

I identify as… Mixed gender, agender passing.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … They/them.

I’m attracted to… Girls, demi-girls, trangirls, basically, I’m demiromanctic.

When people talk about me, I want them to… To like me for who I am, and try to get to know me, and don’t see me as the things I’m not.

I want people to understand… That gender does not equal sex, and when it gets down to it: you’re you.

About Pala
I’m a sinning nerd.

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

I’ve been thinking a lot about what my gender is to me. I was born female and you know what? I don’t terribly mind it. I don’t feel like I need to be on the other side… But I also don’t feel the need to be on mine? I don’t think it’s my gender I feel weird about… I think it’s society’s view of my gender that bothers me. I never seem to fit what people think I should be like. I never fit anywhere… But I think I’ve finally come to accept that it’s not me. It’s the rest of them that need to calm down and just let everyone be themselves.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Anna

I identify as… a pansexual and autochorissexual trans woman (sometimes a little genderfluid) who is polyamorous at heart but not in lifestyle or practice.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … She, xe pronouns are good

I’m attracted to… Most people who are kind to me, of any type.

When people talk about me, I want them to… smile and be glad they know me, and I hope they’ll enjoy and talk about what my creative projects bring to their minds.

I want people to understand… that I’m doing my best to be good to them and for them, but I sometimes have trouble due to my learning disabilities, trouble seeing things from others’ perspectives, GAD and social anxiety, and neurotic depression.

About Anna
Creative queer teacher who is panamicable and lonely!

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

I’m too scared to ask the teachers at school to refer to me by my preferred name and pronouns, but being referred to by my dead name and pronouns really really hurts. Does anyone have any tips on trying to talk to teachers about it? That would be a great help!

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Ronnie

I identify as… Transgender Gothic (FtoM)

As far as third-person pronouns go, … he/him/it but do not call me a female

I’m attracted to… Men, yes i am gay

When people talk about me, I want them to… realize that i am a male and that even though you are gay and i am transgender, i am still like any other guy just focus on my personality rather than my gender.

I want people to understand… i am not offended most of the time but i do have feelings and would not like you to call me a female. i am fine for you calling me it, he or a tranny or whatever. i am fine with that just dont call me a female

About Ronnie
i am a gothic/emo and i very creative. i like to sing,dance,write and just i am addicted to all things artsy. even though i am a guy, i am very kamp and love being Felicous *sprinkles pink fairy glitter everywhere* i am 100% fabulous and i am totally a princess/prince. :)

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

Today was weird.

See, I’m transmasculine agender, and I prefer he/him pronouns. Most of my friends know this, but because I’m not public, they don’t use my pronouns. They do however use my name, Gray, because it sounds like a nickname of the awful ‘dead’ name that most people still use for me.

I was supposed to come out on Coming Out Day to my family, because I can’t deal with being in the closet anymore, it’s driving me crazy with despair. However, I chickened out last minute and so they still don’t know.

Today was pretty bad because none of my friends were around at school and so no-one for the entire day used my name, which made me sad.

I’m still sad about it, and one of my close friends consistently screws up and uses my ‘dead’ name, and I know she tries but, she’s known for ages, and we all correct her. But sometimes it feels like she thinks I, going to grow out of it.

So yeah, that’s my stream of consciousness.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Kay asks…

Hi, I’m Kay and I’m confused as hell.

I’m a female makeup artist, who thinks I’m like 70/30 female to male. Maybe less male, maybe more. Maybe labels like Female and Male don’t matter and are a contrived notion. But I love being female, I love my curves and my girls and giggling with them about men and sex…but I also feel there’s a healthy side order of male living in here too. Maybe everyone has that but I’m not so I’ve yet to find a label I think fits my situation, and I guess that’s why I’m here, to learn more from you beautiful enlightened people about gender and what I am.

I’ve been openly bisexual since 18 with my friends, haven’t told my family because I’ve never had to, it’s none of their business and they wouldn’t care. If and when I fall in love with a woman I’ll tell them. My mum brought me up to believe love is love so I know it wouldn’t be an issue. “Mum I occasionally like to sleep with women” isn’t really a conversation I’ve felt the need to have though. Although it’s probably about time.

Just needed to say all this to someone really. I want to talk to my mum about it but I just wish I had a clear thing I could say mum I’m this ….

She’d be able to understand that. She’s a liberal hippy at heart. I guess I’m worried that explaining it the way I just have to you all would make it sound a bit wishy washy airy fairy, when actually it’s been on my mind a lot recently. It’s something I need her to understand. But how can she when I don’t?

I feel a bit silly asking about this really, when there are so many out there facing real struggles and facing danger. It kind of feels like a stupid problem, but it’s me ya know? Who I feel I am inside. I’m close with my mum. I tell her most things. I want her to know me. The I’m bisexual part will be so much easier because it’s a clear label she gets. She supports the lgbt community.

I’m rambling. Sorry.

You’re all strong, beautiful and awesome sauce.

I’d like to buy you all a pint x

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «

Someone wrote…

I’m 42 years old. For my entire life the idea of being a woman has felt like a constant hassle. Heels, tights, skirts, make-up… I could never do it and I have grown up believing I am a failure at life. I have mental health troubles as a result and sometimes just want to shut myself away.

Fortunately 20 years ago I fell in love with the man who eventually became my husband and over the years he has given me the space and the permission to be the true me. I have recently befriended a wonderful trans guy and I have fantastic LGBTQ friends who I cosplay with and they are helping me to come out to myself.

I don’t quite know where I sit on the gender spectrum but I am getting better at accepting that I am not a woman. I’m a me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Grace

I identify as… Genderfluid

As far as third-person pronouns go, … She/her/hers/they/them/theirs

I’m attracted to… Sometimes men, sometimes women, sometimes non-binary. Attraction is weird. I can never tell, day to day, whom or what I’ll be attracted to. Sexuality is too fluid.

When people talk about me, I want them to… Respect me as an individual with thoughts, passions and emotions, rather than what I look like, what my gender is, or how I present in the world.

I want people to understand… Gender stereotypes are arbitrary. It doesn’t matter what you are, but who you are, and what you do. Focus on being the best YOU you can be, and not the best woman/man.

About Grace
Book nerd. Aspiring musician. Psychology geek. Queer hipster trash.

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

I’m kinda new here… I’m 14, and I have just started to realize what I’m like. I feel comfortable having a female body, but I still obviously think, speak, and act like a male, and have a desire to be a male. But I’m confused because I have only recently started realizing and feeling like I might be trans, and have been plenty girly in the past (in clothing, not attitude).

Even though I’m comfortable being a female, I still dress, speak, an act like a male, and am even thinking about transitioning, someday, if this feeling continues. Anyway… Help; is this a phase, or is it a LGBT situation?

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

You can call me… Kris

I identify as… an AFAB genderfluid pansexual person – part-time femme, part-time stud. Sometimes I’m a mix of the two.

As far as third-person pronouns go, … I prefer “they/them/their”

I’m attracted to… all genders, although I do have a strong preference for femininity.

When people talk about me, I want them to… refer to me simply as a person, not as a man or a woman. Just as a person.

I want people to understand… that just because someone dresses as a woman doesn’t mean they identify as a woman. Likewise if they dressed as a man. They may not identify as a man.

About Kris
I’m a queer Autistic writer, poet and blogger. I have a WordPress blog called Rainbow Autistic. It’s at rainbowautistic.wordpress.com

» Define yourself. «

Someone wrote…

Genderqueer awkwardness: realising that women think you’re checking them out, when really you’re just thinking “I really want that dress, I wonder where it’s from?”

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Someone asks…

Hi. I have been exploring my sexual and romantic orientation and have finally settled that I am aroace.

I decided I would explore my gender too. I was born female. I don’t really feel female or feminine often. But I don’t really feel male or masculine… but I do randomly feel like dressing up or down. I don’t really care that I’m called “she” but sometimes I do have top dysphoria.

I am thinking that I’m demifluid. Does that sound right?

Please post your response in the comments below.

» Ask Genderfork «