Pick One

Submitted by Sarah, the model and photographer.

“To feel the pressure to choose and not want to. We don’t all need to be defined.
Things are never just black and white. Personally, I’m rather fond of grey.”

Posted by on February 22nd, 2011 at 10:00 am

Category: faces 9 comments »

9 Responses to “Pick One”

  1. Jessica

    Colours are good, too. All the shades get left out of a binary world, compressing the reality to open or closed bits. Of course, that which is not digital is analog. How weird that an analog (noun) is a person comparable to another, while analog (adjective) is “relating to or using signals or information represented by a continuously variable physical quality.”
    I am a very analog person but not a close analog of anyone else.


  2. Dayl

    Beautiful! Your words and your presentations. Both are just beautiful.


  3. Elliot

    Your picture and caption reminded me of this:

    “Just Pick One”

    They ask
    Who are you?
    I respond
    Why does it matter?
    Because we don’t know
    Why does that matter?
    But why can’t you
    Just pick one?
    Why does it matter?
    I ask again
    Now I want to know
    How do you feel about that?
    How will you react when
    I tell you
    I will not just pick one?
    There are so
    Many options
    Many words
    Many labels
    Many names
    I will not be confined
    By a word
    Or even a few
    Just so you can feel
    I will not
    I repeat
    Will not
    Just pick one

    -October 2, 2009

    (p.s. I couldn’t preserve the formatting of the poem in the comment box)


  4. Jessica

    Trans Identity

    A lot of people will take you to task
    For taking their label in vain
    Will really be offended, will really want to rip you
    For not conforming the right way.

    It’s a funny thing that the folks with
    The biggest commitment to nonconformity
    Get the most upset, say the cruelest things
    It doesn’t bother them a bit.

    But it bothers me so much to be disrespected
    So much by people I respect
    It harms me, it makes me want to doubt
    Everything I have fought so hard to learn.

    And it doesn’t help any at all in any way
    To have this wall of false intimacy between you
    Never meeting the people who dis you, never really
    Seeing the place from which they want to move your world.

    Get off me and take your anger elsewhere
    Whether it was justified or not, whether it was meant to help or not
    When you get to be me, in my life, in my way
    You’ll understand the way I disagree with you.

    Until that happens, I am afraid we’ll have to disagree
    We’ll stay apart, alone, separate, each in our own world
    We will leave unsaid what doesn’t matter, what won’t change
    Who I think you are or who you think I am.

    Jessica MacGilvray 2011


  5. Popin

    I totally feel like that right now. It’s like identifying as genderqueer isn’t enough for some people. They want more – a “stronger” indentity, if you will. And some people are so overwhelmed by it and deny it’s existance. Plus I never know what to put on forms and the likes. All this makes me feel like I should choose one, as that’s what society wants me to do. If I’m perfectly honest, though, I’m not sure I can. So right now I’m trying to get people to accept it and am happy living as me. :)


    Popin replied:

    I just realised I phrases that badly and it sounded a little offensive. By “some people” I mean binary people, not other genderqueers.


  6. G

    Grey is my favorite color!…. well, that and purple XD


  7. Dibbs

    Very nicely done. :)

    Chalk me up as one of the masses who spent a rather long, very stressful period trying to find a label that fit right, so that I would FIT, and could identify myself in a way that other people would nod and say “Yes, I understand, this person is THIS”, because I felt that that was what was required of me, to be able to slot neatly into society and have a clearly defined identity.

    And then I realised that I didn’t need to. (Getting other people to understand that is a bit harder, but at least I know where MY head is at.)

    And I must say I love those poems some of the other commenters posted. :D


  8. kiera

    Sarah, let it be known that whatever shade you choose, you are a beautiful being worthy of respect and admiration of your peers. I pray to whichever powers that may or may not be that one day we as a society stop requiring answers from everyone on gender and the lot. Until then, i hope you can hold your head high know ing that you are ahead of the curve ^.^


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