Time and again, people tell me that I “look straight.” Or that I “don’t look gay.” But what does that even mean? How do you “look gay”? Do I have to walk around with a men’s haircut and wearing men’s or sexually ambiguous clothing? Does the fact that I wear feminine clothing and look like a typical girl make me any less queer? How do my clothes or my image define my sexual orientation? To put it simply, they don’t. I don’t need to dress a certain way to let people know that I am queer.
When I go to dyke bars, I never get hit on. Ever. I’ve been told, time and again, that I look too straight. And you know what? That’s pretty offensive. If I’m in a queer bar, it’s pretty safe to assume that I’m queer, unless I tell you otherwise. I wouldn’t be in a dyke bar trying to pick up girls if I was straight. End of story. And why can’t people just assume that I am a femme instead of assuming that I am a straight girl? There are plenty of femme lesbians, and they are just as gay as the butch ones. Femme does not equal straight.
You can’t judge a book by it’s cover. And gender identity is different to everyone. I am a woman and I enjoy wearing typically feminine clothing. I like skirts and dresses. I like tights and stockings. I like heels and jewelry. But I also like wearing wife beaters and ties. I like wearing vests and Chuck Taylors. My outfit one day does not make me any gayer than my outfit another day. Who I am doesn’t change just because the packaging does. I wish people would stop making assumptions about my orientation based strictly on the clothes that I choose to wear.
I wear what makes me feel good. I wear what makes me feel sexy. My clothes don’t define my orientation. I’m just me. And I’m queer, no matter what I’m wearing.
What assumptions are people making about you based on your clothes?