I do not own it.

Someone wrote…

I don’t like the concept of “my gender” because it is not something that I own or possess, rather, it is something that comes and goes. I do not own it, and in turn, it does not own me.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?

Posted by on September 10th, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 7 comments »

7 Responses to “I do not own it.”

  1. Meike

    I love this! Very taoist, in a way. Regardless, this is amazing!


  2. Jenn

    I agree. I love the way you put this. I much prefer to rent gender as it feels applicable, or perhaps rather let it rent space in my body and mind when it comes and goes.

    Gender is not a possession or possessor. It is a mere drifter, renting space by the hour or by the day, coming and going as it pleases.


  3. Cat

    This makes so much sense to me, and hopefully it’ll dispel my frustration with being able to pin down my gender definitively.


  4. Ace

    I own my gender, and accordingly, I can do whatever I like with it. I’m free to remodel it as I see fit. (Wouldn’t it bite if I had to get permission from the landlord to repaint?)


  5. Jessica

    Thirty spokes make the wheel’s hub;
    It is the center hole that makes them useful.
    Shape clay into a vessel,
    And it is the space within that makes it useful.
    With the doors and windows of a house,
    That they are holes is what makes them useful.
    Male and Female may describe aspects of a person,
    Not the essence of who this person is.
    Thus are we helped by what is not to use what is.

    Adulterated Lao Tzu….


  6. Anonymous

    for me… my gender is very much tied up the a matter of reclaiming something that … one way or another… the world told me i couldn’t be or have… because i’d been born with certain attributes. the words “my gender” feel very powerful to me. it’s like i reclaim something very precious by describing it in that way. i own it. no one else does. and you can try and argue with me on it but its mine. though its fluid, though its not a fixed point, and at times impossible for even i to grasp: the freedom for it to be that way is mine entirely mine.


  7. dot dash dot

    Bits of my gender belong to the innumerable people and outfits and demeanors and ideas. While all of these have been useful to me, some of the most invaluable are listed below:
    Poisen Ivy as played by Uma Therman
    Snow White
    David Bowie
    Bond Girls
    Tuesday Addams
    Margot from “The Royal Tenembaums”
    Marylin Monroe in “Some Like It Hot”… Tony Curtis, from “Some Like It Hot”.
    Maid Marion
    “guyliner” guys
    Several anime characters…
    Alexander Mcqueen collection 2005
    Milla Jovovich in 5th “Element”
    loud, overdone trannys everywhere
    countless strangers
    one or two close friends
    and, of course, my mother and father

    Many thanks to all of the above for inspiring me and making me feel so comfortable in my own skin, and wardrobe.

    My whole gender is copyrighted to myself, circa 2009.
    And “me” occupies the space between the spokes. If you know what I mean.



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