Sick of being told…

Someone wrote…

I’m sick of being told “You’re not a guy yet,” when I was never a girl to start with.

What’s your experience?

And what are you thinking about gender right now?


Posted by on July 17th, 2010 at 08:00 am

Category: your voice 11 comments »

11 Responses to “Sick of being told…”

  1. Tamworth

    AGH. same.

    [Reply]

  2. J.D.

    Same here. Especially sick of the “you’re a girl, so that makes you a lesbian. You’re not a guy until after and even then you were still born a girl so you’re still a lesbian” how does that even make sense?

    just ignore them.

    [Reply]

  3. Keanan

    J.D.-I had a similar experience today but with dress clothes. I was told by a group of (I’m pretty sure) straight girls that I don’t know very well (they know I’m female-bodied) that I was very handsome when I spiked my hair and put on my dress shirt and tie for a dance. I then walked downstairs and another group of girls asked me why I was wearing a tie because it wasn’t for girls and that I should borrow a dress of theirs and should wear some make up. Obviously the other girls didn’t think this was necessary. Why did this group? Why can’t they see what the other girls saw?

    O.P.-That really sucks. I hope people will come to their senses.

    [Reply]

  4. Maxime

    Same here :| My friends, who know I’m trans, are always saying, “Well. You’re not a guy yet so I’ll still call you _______”
    It gets ridiculous.

    [Reply]

  5. CYR

    I have told my friends that I am neither a boy nor a girl. I am simply myself. They can’t seem to comprehend that. I have never been a boy or a girl. I wish I were. I’m tired of being a freak, but both genders seem to sense that I don’t fit in with them. It gets tiring.

    [Reply]

  6. Nick

    Yes.
    It pisses me off that people expect me to act different ‘once you’re a man’ and will only treat me different ‘after you’re a man.’
    I was never anything other than a man.

    [Reply]

  7. Sam

    Just remember- you WERENT ever a girl to start with :)
    They dont understand, I suppose.

    [Reply]

  8. Morgan

    When do they think ‘yet’ is, anyway?

    [Reply]

  9. lulu

    i really love this website. i have heard a few lesbians talk this way about trans guys. Since i only came out recently i have not been long in queer culture and I was wondering if they had something figured out that I didn’t. Like if I should be copying their way of speaking or what.

    Thank you all for sharing your experiences.

    Much respect to all of you (all of us) for bravery and dignity.

    [Reply]

  10. Anonymous

    What a horrifying and oppressive thing to say to another person. I hope every one here has got a lot of community support to go home to. It is ridiculous that there is a set of actions one must take prior to their gender identity being respected. Let’s see what we can do about that.

    [Reply]

  11. Roman

    I get sick of being told I’ll never be a real man.
    If people would actually take time and listen, they’d know I have no intention of becoming a male. The only thing I can say I’m not happy with is my breast but being able to get a “top surgery” would just be the icing on the cake…I’m happy with who/what I am because I’ve accepted that it’s not what I have between my legs that defines me

    [Reply]


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